Is my boyfriend too concerned about my weight?

[Anonymous]

I've been dating my boyfriend for about 3 months and no more than 2 weeks in he was making comments about my weight and how if I just lost a "little weight" and got my stomach flat I would be "fire" but he "still loves me the way I am". I'm very self aware and know I can stand to lose a good amount of weight (which I have been doing since before we met), but this rubbed me the wrong way because he did not ask questions and instead made a bunch of assumptions and rambled on about it for at least 30 minutes. I let him know that this is not appreciated and he stopped briefly then started back up.

Fast forward to this week and he offers to pay for my gym membership which is nice of him, but this gets accompanied by yet more random rants about my weight. My weight has been something I've struggled with my whole life so I don't feel I am
overly sensitive when it comes to his comments, but they are very annoying to say the least. He also goes on about how "there is no perfect woman and men need to know that they have to create their perfect woman rather than going out and
cheating"

I'm curious to know others perspectives to see if his comments are normal/genuine or if this is a red flag. I've never had a partner be so concerned about my weight unless I brought it up as something I wanted to/was working on.

[WhatTheHeckkkk]

I can understand being concerned about weight for a health related matter, because that is totally reasonable. Of course you don’t want a partner to have health issues related to being overweight, ya know?


However, this just seems to be solely for aesthetic and attraction. He goes on to tell you how you’d look better if you had a flatter stomach… I mean, come on… It’s obvious that your physical appearance is what he cares about most. I understand that he wants you to be in your best shape, but his way of going about it is flat out rude.


He doesn’t need to go on rants about your weight, he doesn’t need to tell you how good looking you would be if you did lose weight, he doesn’t need to offer to pay for a membership, he doesn’t need to sugar coat it by saying “I love you the way you are” or “I need to create a perfect woman instead of cheating.” All of that is just a red flag, for me personally. Not only is he just being pushy, he’s being an asshole about it too. He is not listening to you when you voice your feelings either.


I personally would be fed up with it. I would tell him that he needs to cut his shit out, the whole rants about your weight. You don’t deserve that, no one does. No one wants to constantly hear, “you’d look better if you lost weight,” “I need to create a perfect version of you, so I don’t cheat,” “I love you the way you are, but….”


It’s up to you to decide if you want to stay with him or not, but I don’t think he’s concerned about your weight, in regards to health… Only beauty and aesthetic. That’s shitty, especially how he goes about it, too. You deserves someone who motivates you, but also accepts you and uplifts you, not being you down like he does.

[slatyb]

Dump him.

[dustybiker]

Tell him he needs to work on respect.

[EaterPeter]

Yes.

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!