Why have I been struggling to give up hope on getting out of the friend-zone with this guy?

[Anonymous]

I have been friends with him over 3 years and he knows I like him. Yet he's never been interested in me. He's not even single anymore.

I know, this is a me problem. Does anyone know how to deal with this? (How to give up completely.) Because I want to give yet I am not sure how.

Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Yeah. You've built this relationship that was one sided all in your mind now you need to demolish it brick by brick.

[Asker]

That as been slow painful process. It feels as if I am not even on his level and that I need to better. Yet is all eh just chill. I do yet that has been a struggle too...

[Opinion Owner]

We've all been there at one point. Console yourself with that fact that you're not alone in that. But remember feelings are seldom rational. So while everything your feeling is valid that doesn't mean it's still not something your brain created. And therefore can be uncreated.

[Asker]

I gotcha... Uncreate the feelings.
I will do that. Thank you. ❤

[Opinion Owner]

My advice to you is think of his faults. He has them, your just not focusing on the. Remind yourself repeatedly of them. Play them in your mind on an endless loop. Pretty son that's all you think about him. 😆

[Asker]

That as been difficult for me actually. He does have or had faults yet over all he seems better than me as a person. The most it seems I can do is say it was a mistake for him to not choose me and not give a reason why. 😅

[Opinion Owner]

Life's going to be hard for you if you expect a reason why. I would never expect a reason why from a woman.

[Asker]

I gotcha. Thanks. 😊

[Guy13]

move on and he will notice that others guys like you and he missed something...

[Asker]

It seems I struggle with other guys liking me. (They don't.) Even more so, guys that I'd want to like me. My friend said I need to relax and not think so much. Yet I am not sure how to get there...

[Heterosketero]

Your age. What to do for now? It is do tou time, pick up a hobby you always wanted to, grow outside the relationship. If and when he asks where you have been, be dead honest, not getting any action from you so I took the opportunity to grow outside our friendship. Might wake him up ;)

[Asker]

Working on finding new hobbies and making plans to relax more because that seems to be part of my problem. He probably won't ask. x_x
At this point growing outside our friendship is probably what he wants / is best for me. Oh, man I don't want anymore hope for this. I just want to be better as a woman so I can actually be what a guy like him wants and needs. @_@

[Heterosketero]

Must be a hell of a guy. Dont forget you are a hell of a persin yourself. I have made my share of mistakes but one of the biggest was chasing people instead of myself in my 20s. When I read your qyestion and saw your age, I gave the best advice I ever followed. If you look out for you, he will notice, if you dont have time for him, he will notice. In both cases he will be happy for you if he is a true friend. I am not the best asvice giver on dating, been single a decade. I do have experience of living without looking though. Considering day in again, thats what brought me here, I was looking for a dating app that was different, but instead I found this. What kind of hobbies are thinking about? meetup. com is a great resource to explore hobbies :)

[Asker]

He is amazing!
It is pure luck that I even met someone like him and I don't know where to find more like him..
All I can do great is draw... but I am trying to be better.
He really inspired me myself/ a better woman. Yet it also seems I see what is not so great about me... So, many things...
Yeah, I am 25. I am trying to not marry at too old of an age 😭
Yeah, it was advices to me that I should work on being as approachable as possible, to the right guy (s). I am not good at that at all so far...
Well... I don't know. He's usually very happy with his life. It seems he hasn't really missed me either. Even after 5 months of not talking. "^^
I am still not sure, yet others have suggested i try going on walks through nature preferably where there is water and yoga so far. I just haven't figured out where to go and how to keep myself consistent with it.

[Heterosketero]

Somerhing to consider, your firend may be isolating from some depression after pandemics and political turmoil. 20 minutes a day in nature is good for you in all ways. Maybe call them and se how they are doing? They might need it.

[Asker]

Heh? Him, the guy I liked depressed? He is the happiest person I know... (I am usually the sad one...)

[Heterosketero]

Everyone I know says I am the happiest person they know. But they don't know. Just a thought. We tend to hide when we dont feel 100%, I learned this in First responder training, when people choke they leave the room. Anything embarassing really, people will excuse themselves. Guys have a very hard time sharing any weakness. I coukd be dead wrong though.

[Asker]

Well, he used to be vulnerable with me but after some time he stopped and hasn't since. So yeah. I don't know what he's going through exactly. Yet it is because he doesn't want me to know, it seems. His girlfriend probably does though.

[Anonymous]

Stop being friends with him.

[Asker]

I tried for 5 months. I failed...