What makes a married man pretend he’s single?

[Anonymous]

I was reconnecting with a guy friend and we didn’t talk for a few years when he moved away. Long story short he knew I liked him, didn’t feel the same.
He told his friends that I would be a great girlfriend and he wanted to sleep with me (he doesn’t know I know this).

This time he said he was more than happy to be friends and we were talking for a few weeks about our lives etc, he would reply really fast etc, show interest and wanted to know my dating situation BUT when I made a joke about being single he then says he’s married…. I feel stupid for thinking he was single but he gave the impression he was.
To be clear he lives in a whole other country so no chance that anything would happen anyway, but now I feel like I can’t even talk to him any more…why did he pretend to be single and not just mention it earlier when we got a bit flirty? Or maybe I should’ve asked I guess? Can a guy and girl ever be just friends or did he want something from me/ego boost etc?

[Aerissa_Jade]

Often if he says he is married, women stop talking right away. I know I do, but not always if there is good boundaries.

Past experience for him, he may of had that experience before so he doesn't mention it to keep the conversations going. Especially if there is zero chance of anything ever happening, sometimes they just want a friend to talk to.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s right, I think you’re spot on and we’ve known each other for years and he wasn’t into me like I was for him (even if he was attracted to me)…we’re just old friends really so it’s comfortable.

[Enaya]

What do you plan to do, if anything?

[Asker]

@Enaya nothing, I respect his situation and we’re just friends so unless that changes on his end then that’s how it has to be.

[Enaya]

that’s how it is for me too. His feelings for me does not amount to anything for me unless his situation changes

[Asker]

@Enaya it’s not easy but hopefully we will find someone else who loves us back

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'm not reading all the text below the question... But why? Because they want to get laid.

I mean, believe it or not, some chicks don't want to have sexual intercourse sometimes with a taken guy.

I prefer chicks that know. I'm married, already have side chicks, and she's going to be a part of my team because I'm not a player... I'm the coach. Believe it or not, some chicks are actually looking for that. They might have some dude in a LDR and they still need to get dicked down... that's when a dude like me becomes their best option.

I fill the void.

[Asker]

I just don’t get why he’s even trying with me, we aren’t even in the same state or anything, he has ZERO chance of seeing me etc

[D_Bone_Steak]

I'll be real... he's probably still jerking off to you though.

[Asker]

He told his friend once years ago when we first met he wanted to ‘destroy me’ or something like that…

[D_Bone_Steak]

Multiple meanings so I can't really say because I'm not a mind reader. "Destroy you" could mean just sexually as in hump you so much you just love it. Then there is the meaning that isn't so nice... which is probably the meaning you'll see in any dictionary or translation dictionary... and is a lot more violent and not so sexually motivated.

[Asker]

Yeah he wanted to know if I was seeing anyone now too so I think it’s the first one not the second…but it still won’t happen while he’s married or in any kind of relationship that’s for 100% sure.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Yeah girl... he wants to fuck 100%... I think I have enough info to actually make that assertion. You're going to hold out though... I'm going to assert you want to. Shit, I'm going to say with enough contact... he'll still fuck and make you a liar. 100% sure my ass. Part of you wants to do it already.

[Asker]

If he comes to me one day and is completely single then 100% yes, I know about cheating and there’s no way in hell I’d ever be the other woman and destroy a marriage and my life too for him. There’s always been something between us, like magnets…we always seem to get pulled back to each other but he’s taken and we will just have to be friends.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Look at my age... You don't think I'm buying your bullshit right?

[Asker]

You don’t need to buy it, thanks for answering anyway

[D_Bone_Steak]

At least you admit it is bullshit. Love you. ♥

[msc545]

He is interested in you and he felt like if you knew he was married you would not return his interest. It sounds like if you're able to be friends with him and not have sex that might work out well for both of you. However that may not be what he wants and it also may not be what you want. it also sounds like regardless of his marital status you could have sex with him if you wanted to.

[Asker]

I wouldn’t while he’s married, absolutely no way I’d do that to anyone or myself. We live in completely different places on opposite sides of the country so there’s no chance we would see each other anyway so I’m not sure why he’s bothering but he did say his marriage ‘isn’t too bad’…whatever that means

[msc545]

That is really ambiguous. Perhaps you could ask him?

[Asker]

Hmm I don’t want to pry really, he said it cause I asked him how married life was going but he said he would ‘recommend it’…?

[msc545]

he would or would not recommend it?

[Asker]

Would…. so he says one thing but then says another, it’s confusing. Like he’s happy but not really? Who knows honestly

[msc545]

Probably not worth further inquiry

[Enaya]

A married guy has been doing this around me too. He talks about his wife with others but if he thinks I am near then there is no mention of her. He doesn’t go far enough to take off his ring but he will hardly ever display it. Reason is that he has a massive crush on me. But he also knows that I will not get involved if he’s married. It is a deadend cause I know he’s married and I will not show him any interest while he is married.

[SpanishRose]

Seems like he isn't all that happy in his marriage and was looking for a ego boost or someone willing to be a side piece. From my experience happily married men don't give off I'm single vibes they speak highly of their spouse and speak very platonic to the opposite sex.

[Asker]

We don’t even live in the same state anyway so it’s not like he has any chance of seeing me…. thanks for replying

[SpanishRose]

You're welcome 😊 I hope it works out whichever way you want

[LickwidSkie]

Typically, because he wants to cheat. I know you said that there's no chance of him seeing you, but sometimes people's emotions take over, they want to fulfill their fantasy, and emotions and fantasies aren't always rational or realistic.

[LavLavLuv]

He’s not a good person. Better stay away from him

[Asker]

I know, his poor wife she’s the one I feel sorry for

[genericname85]

i would say him trying to cheat on his wife/girlfriend would do that.

[HaveNoName]

When he is looking for an opportunity of having a fling on the side.

[melanieeeB]

Cheater and trying to get someone

[Anonymous]

The same reason some women do it. They are cheaters and looking for some fun on the side.

[BrightBubblyKat]

He’s a creepy little pervert..

[Asker]

And he has no pics at all of himself at all…ughh

[LiamJHayden]

He wants a side chick.

[Anonymous]

When he wants to cheat.

[Asker]

Does it seem like he wants to?

[In_Trance]

The chance to rail strange P