As a woman, can you determine how attractive you are by the type of man you attract?

[Anonymous]

I know most decent looking women get approached by men, but is there a difference in the type of men who approach very attractive women vs. average women that is noticeable?

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh my god no! That's really not at all the way to look at it. If you find that you seem to overwhelmingly attract some specific type of undesirable guy... then maybe that's something to look at. But in general, it would be a HUGE mistake to look at it that way. That will easily lead you to incorrect conclusions. I would get this theory right out of your head if I were you. I think it has a high likelihood of leading you astray.

[Asker]

Okay, so how would you say is is the best way for a woman to outwardly determine how attractive she is, when it comes to men.

[SteveSmith1985]

Well... I don't know if looking at it that way is quite... right. Of course on one level it is: You hope to be attractive... to men broadly or generally. That's quite true, and normal.

But something about the way you're looking at this rubbs me as really wrong, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

I think most people have a general sense of how attractive the opposite sex finds them. I think the evidence that leads someone to form that genreal idea of their own attractiveness, would be PARTLY in the guys who have expressed overt attraction to you. But there are a whole lot of other factors. A lifetime of comments made by both guys who weren't showing interest. A lifetime of things said to you by people who were close to you (your female best friend etc.). And, just everything from whether you notice attention from guys (looks etc) that might show attraction, but in a vague passing way. They don't approach you, but still give you signals. Hell you can tell by the way a cashier treats and looks at you (regardless of the sex of the cashier).

There are just so many things aside from the guys YOU ARE AWARE OF being attracted to you. That's a bad sampling even of the guys who are attracted to you. You wouldn't know about the majority of the guys who find you attractive.

I think you must have a general sense of whether men think you're incredibly beautiful; unattractive; or (most likely) somewhere in the middle. But I think most people know just from the feedback they get over the course of life (with the men who make it known they find you attractive being one piece of that feedback)... but not something to hang your conclusions on by itself

[Asker]

It’s just a question. No need to read into it. I wasn’t asking for myself particularly. But thanks for your answer.

[SteveSmith1985]

haha, well I can't really apologize for "reading into it". I gave you a quick answer, and you asked me to elaborate. And I can't possibly know whether you're asking for yourself or someone else. Hope it helps though.

[Keyboardkat]

Yes, but not in the way most people think. There is a principle of psychology that says that the type of significant other we choose for ourselves is a reflection of the way we see ourselves. In other words, a girl, for example, who really has poor self-esteem will gravitate toward a lower caliber of guy, because that's how she thinks of herself. She won't be comfortable, won't be able to sustain a long-term relationship with a really top-notch, intelligent guy who really cares for her because she doesn't feel inwardly that she can measure up. The same is true for guys. If you are a girl and you always seem to end up with lowlifes, stop and think about it. Why do you go for that type of guy? Don't you think you could do better? If not, maybe you need to look into that, perhaps with the help of a therapist.

[TacosRAwesome]

I get called pretty fairly often and my first boyfriend looked like a butch lesbian.

[Quackthulu2]

No, but I can determine how attractive I am by looking in a mirror.

[Asker]

Yeah, but if you’re unattractive PHYSICALLY then it really doesn’t matter what you try to convince yourself. I feel society treats you based on attractiveness and confidence levels.

I can have small boobs and look in the mirror every day and tell myself I have big boobs, but facts are facts.

[Quackthulu2]

Fair, society treats people based on a lot more than just how pretty they are, but it is a factor, for sure. And little tits are the best tits.

Depending on where you live, as long as you take good care of yourself you are in all likelihood above average.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

You can tell how attractive you by how much men are terrified by you.
If you're easily approachable, you're probably not super attractive.

Being really attractive will only determine what kind of men you attract in terms of which ones have the biggest balls

[WanderingLoveWizard]

And I don't mean at the club or a bar. All men are Casanova when they're drunk and horny

[Asker]

Can you explain men “terrified” though?

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Afraid to approach or talk to, avoiding eye contact, getting nervous around them, that kinda thing.
We assume we either don't have a chance anyway or they're already taken.

But other men don't care and throw fate to the wind, because they have balls and don't fear rejection. That doesn't mean he's a neccesarily quality guy though. Just a brave one

[Asker]

Makes perfect sense, thanks

[MrCommodore]

I don't think so, maybe, but I guess the problem is that guys will more easily lower their standards to get sex than women will.

[Anonymous]

No because most men will screw anything that moves.

[Asker]

Lol that’s fair

[WanderingLoveWizard]

It's true. I will

[WanderingLoveWizard]

But at the same time, most women more than double men in body count. So there's a reason we take what we can get.
There's always a method to madness