Guy I’m dating isn’t ‘rushing into a relationship’. was previously in a long term one. what do you think?

[Anonymous]

I haven’t ever been in a long term relationship. I accidentally found a picture of him and his ex and his ex looks a bit like me. Pale skin, dark features. I’m worried that he’s just using me. We’ve been on 4 dates and we’ve kissed and hugged. But I’m worried I feel more for him that he does. He always sends me messages saying he misses my hugs and kisses which is sweet. But Im scared I will start catching feelings. Im thinking maybe I should let me him go? I am looking for a long term relationship and I like him but i worried he doesn’t see me that way. Help, I don’t know what to think

[Effably]

I'd lay the cards on the figurative table.

Why not just tell him that you are looking for this and that. Perhaps not at this moment, but in the forseeable future. If he is not in a place where that seems like what he wants, give each other a compliment, wish them luck and move on.

People will very rarely hold having standards and self-respect, with healthy boundaries, against you. It also does lot permanently burn a bridge.

[Asker]

He said that he is eventually looking for marriage but that he is not rushing to get into a relationship

[Effably]

That is very loosely put.

If you are concerned about being the rebound it is quite simple to figure it out: What is he deriving from your current relationship?

[Asker]

Affection. He likes hugging and kissing me. But he hasn’t asked me any personal questions

[Guy13]

Cautious makes sense for him having been in a failed LTR.

[midnightcavern01]

He just got out of a serious relationship. The fact that you have a similar look to his ex means he has a type. The guy is probably just feeling insecure and as he said doesn't want to rush things. Leave him be

[Truthatanycost]

No one can use you if you have strict boundaries that you always enforce.