If you’ve been dating exclusively for one year and he’s now okay with you seeing others, is the relationship about to end because he’s not as into it?

[Anonymous]

[Nawlins34]

If he didn't explicitly state "open relationship" (you'd know), I won't speculate. At the bare minimum, he's saying by yourself, you can't hold his attention.

That by itself is enough information that you can act on.
Are you okay with that? Because if not, then you should end the relationship..

That wasn't a "spur of the moment" statement; he had time to think it over. So know going forward if this isn't what you want, he let you know from that point forward, you're wasting your time.

[Asker]

He’s taken me to meet his parents and said it’s not just sec etc. But he’s divorced and said it broke him. I can’t help but wonder if he’s waiting for his ex to come back.

[cjs31380]

I've been seeing this girl casually for a long time but she doesn't want to become exclusive

[Nawlins34]

If he's "broken", then he shouldn't be in a relationship. That should be a red flag.

He should be healing and going to therapy. I say this because it has to happen at some point and it shouldn't happen in another relationship because it'll pay the cost with wasted time.

[Asker]

He said he’s taken a year out to deal with it and is in a better place now. He also says he wouldn’t go back, but saying and doing are two different things. I have my doubts, I’m just trying to figure out whether I’m right or wrong.

[Nawlins34]

Is there a reason why he hasn't cleared this up with you? This is a 2-minute conversation at best with him.

[Asker]

He’s said he’s not looking to go back. But he doesn’t understand why it ended so he lacks closure (and insight in my opinion). He’s also said he’s not the best communicator so god only knows.

[Asker]

I know he still loves her though.

[Anonymous]

That's something you talk about and confront him on. Why is it "ok"? That's the natural conclusion most will come to, but other possibilities I guess (especially these days) such as open relationships. Or maybe he suffers from depression and thinks YOU want that, or aren't as interested in him anymore. Best to talk about it and find out how he feels exactly.

[Asker]

He does think I want that since I bought it up first after feeling like he wasn’t that bothered.

[LazerBean]

It means he doesn't think he wants a long-term relationship with you, yes. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, I would certainly move on.

[exitseven]

It sounds like it. He may have found somebody else.

[Anonymous]

So what he wants a open relationship?

[Asker]

I’ve no idea. He’s always said no to that before saying he’d feel too jealous. But either he was lying or his opinion had changed. I don’t know if he can tell me honestly either )”(god knows why because I respect the truth), that’s the trouble.

[Asker]

Whenever other men show interest in me he’s suddenly all over me 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah it's also possible that the thought of you being with someone else turns him on

[Asker]

It was me that bought up seeing others as I said it’s best if he’s not that into it (because if I were to get pregnant he’d want an abortion) I understand it’s too soon but sometimes life happens and his reaction just made me feel unwanted, even though he said it’s not just sex, he said he doesn’t know what’s going to happen in the future yet. That comment made me feel like he’s just passing time with me until something better comes along.

[Asker]

Why would that turn him on?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah doesn't seem like he really cares that much about you

[Asker]

My thoughts exactly

[Asker]

So regardless of what he says, I’m not wrong or going crazy then.

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not saying him but I know it does turn some guys on

[Opinion Owner]

You could tell him you got a date to see how he reacts

[Asker]

He wouldn’t tell me he doesn’t care about me, he’d let me come to this conclusion by myself and say he does care about me though 🙄. I’ll try it but he’s studied psychology so may enjoy little mind games.

[Asker]

I’m just going to take some space and only reply when he contacts me. Kept invite him to stay with me this week either.

[Asker]

*I’m not going to invite him to stay with me this week either

[Opinion Owner]

That's good I hope it works out for you

[Asker]

It’ll tell me whatever I need to know. I have options and future goals so I’m not too bothered anymore.

[Opinion Owner]

Why did you bring up seeing other people is that something you wanna do

[Asker]

Because if he’s not that into it I’m not prepared to waste my time. It only makes sense to keep my options open and find the best match. Right?

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah that's true.