Agree or Disagree? You should never reject someone's romantic advances entirely on Height or Weight?

[coachTanthony]

Agree: that just isn't right

Disagree: it's a preference anyone should be allowed to have

see poll ( Coach I would never reject you as long as you're in that Lambo )

[Sunssong]

@coachTanthony I agree 100%. However, people like @ElGato31 bring up the problem with that. @Keishio I think anyone can clearly see why we should all agree with the statement. We all know it's shallow, especially when talking about things that can't change or are hard to change. @4ngelic I don't think my thinking is absurd. It is superficial. It just is. You can't get around that. That's why I agreed. Someone being mean or abusive is another story.

I think most of us think being superficial is not right. Regardless of what you think about the word, someone rejecting another entirely due to height is a superficial act. I'm 6'1 and fit. I am a decent person, like 99% of people, but I'm working toward being a good person. I'm not butt hurt about someone rejecting someone or me due to superficial things.
I think it is superficial and wrong. With all that said, much of which is repetition, I have preferences. I agree that one should not reject someone due to something like height. However, the problem is you are conditionally driven not to want to be with that person. That means you either have to alter your conditioning or the person's other qualities must utterly dominate, on a deep level, the one thing you don't like.

I dated an Asian girl once. At the time, I thought all Asian girls were ugly. I was not very attracted to the appearance of this girl. However, in dating her, my conditioning changed and I came to find her attractive. From that point on, I found Asian girls attractive in the same way I found other races of girls attractive. I did not change my eyes, I changed things on a deep level. Even more strange, a doctor back in the 20th century found that after plastic surgery some people did not notice the drastic changes in their appearance for weeks. He discovered the inner self image as we know it.

Anyway, I'm not advocating for people to date someone they don't want to. I wouldn't do that myself. I'm simply pointing out we shouldn't be so superficial and that we are all superficial. However, the problem that presents itself explains why we are all superficial and that it is natural. Some people smoke, I don't. Yet they know they shouldn't and in some cases don't even want to anymore. They shouldn't smoke but the problem is they conditionally can't stop. Beauty truly is in the eye of your conditioning. I remember watching a documentary about a culture that found unibrows sexy.

[coachTanthony]

You agree with me 100%? On what lol

[notwoke]

"especially when talking about things that can't change or are hard to change" - trying eating less and getting off the couch. it's worked for centuries. Statements like this help us associate overweight with lazy and dumb

[GoodManDave]

I don't really have an issue with some women who want guys who are 6'2, and are unwilling to budge. Of course, some of the same women would shriek about injustices if guys have any preferences of say, not dating anyone obese. I'm not big on double standards.

I can disagree with it, I can say "good luck" to them. There will always be things that put me (or anyone else) out of "the running" if you will.

Ladies... If you understand you're reducing your dating pool to less than 15 percent (unmarried makes that percent lower... and every extra demand you add, the more specific you get, and the dating pool gets smaller and smaller)... but if you're having trouble dating these guys, you might consider bending that rule to, say, 5'9 and above, and not insisting he has to be taller even if you're 5'7 and you want to wear your "sexy four inch heels."

No matter who you are... the more demanding you become, the more I think you have to be what that person would find attractive.

[Msputiton]

Naw.

I mean here is how I see it.

We are being onesided. So we go it is insensitive to turn someone down because they are overweight.

But what about the other person? So because someone is overweight and someone is not attracted to them, so what are they supposed to do?

They have to force themselves to date someone they are not attracted to just to protect an overweight person's feelings? Have you ever been in a relationship, you didn't want to be in?

It is a miserable feeling. It is okay to turn them down, but as long as they do it respectfully.

[Paul_in_Indy]

I think it means that fat guys, so long as they are well-groomed, well-dressed, and well-spoken get a free pass to have sex with whomever they approach. You can’t be shallow and unfair and reject them. It gives the fat guys a serious leg up over fit guys.

[Msputiton]

@Paul_in_Indy and again we supposed to have sex with someone to spare their feelings?
We could get a std, pregnant and why?
Because he might get sad because we aren't attracted to him🤷🏾‍♀️

[coachTanthony]

wow totally missed this comment lol I have my popcorn now

[Paul_in_Indy]

Of course. You have perfectly explained what the incels of G@G expect of you. They probably want you to provide a notarized affidavit confirming that the sex was really awesome, too. You cannot do anything that might make them feel the slightest bit rejected. If you do, it will be your fault when they start burning buildings down because they are sad.

[purplepoppy]

Listening to guys on here over the years there seems to be the notion we only go for 7ft lean muscular men. It's complete nonsense but then again I don't want an obese dwarf either.

[Guy13]

Preferences are not bad, racism, or mean. Absence of intentional incitement combined with application of one-one classiness is sufficient.

I am not catering to a minority because they feel bad about their circumstance immersed in self-pity and self-comparison to groups that are detrimental to their well being.

Grow up…

[Bethany22]

I agree, it's not right.

[Anonymous]

Nope there is a limit. I would reject a 500lb. Woman regardless and I would expect the same if I weighed that much. No one is healthy at that weight. If you can help them and they want help I don't think you should reject them. But now we're getting into attraction vs. Self destruction. So no, you shouldn't reject a woman with vanity weight.

Height, height I'll NEVER understand this with women Coach. As I've told you before I'm above avg. In height and I've never felt like it's benefitted me. But to be fair I'm also not a social butterfly. But I've heard enough shorter fellas lament about it. Not to mention I've been targeted by many women on dating sites (I FEEL) That did so because they listed on thier profiles that they WILL NOT date a guy under 6 feet. Even my sister who is 5'11" (we're all pretty tall in my family) refuses to dance with a guy shorter than her. So I KNOW this IS a thing with many women. And my feelings on it is any woman that rejects a guy due to being shorter is only hurting herself. A guys height does NOT determine his value. But women probably feel the same about a guy with weight standards.

Here's what I do know. Society isn't changing. But I won't date a woman knowingly who has height requirements.

[LittleSally]

It depends on how far the extreme goes.

Being morbidly obese is a health condition, but one which is, sadly, in most cases, caused by the person themselves. Unfortunately, it is evident they can not take care of themselves, and therefore, that is not attractive to me.

Sure preferences are preferences, but ultimately, people's looks can tell you some things about them - which you can choose to take into consideration or choose to ignore.

As for height - I don't think I'd feel comfortable with a man who is a lot shorter than me... but the same height is okay, although, honestly, I haven't seen many men the same height or shorter than me.

[TommyWiseau69]

I'm a short man and women don't like me because I'm short. If women don't want to like guys for height then allow us guys go dislike any physical trait for women as well and not give us crap for it. We are allowed to find a woman's tits too small or too big, same with ass. We are allowed to want a certain weight range with women as well, if you aren't within our weight range then suck it up buttercup. Most of us guys don't like fat women we don't find them attractive. If women don't like my height then don't get pissed off at me when I don't want women that exhibit physical traits I don't like.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I would rather be rejected for being fat, than to "be given a chance" by someone who didn't find me attractive and didn't truly want to date me, to begin with.

You can reject someone for any reason, you're not obligated to say yes to anything.

[KrissAvarr00]

I agree with you
it is fine to have preferences.
Not sure why its difficult to understand that today.

[Little_Bumblebee]

@KrissAvarr00 Yeah exactly. I draw the line if the person is a complete jerk about it, now that's not okay.

[KrissAvarr00]

Lots of people are that way
Its strange because people are suppose to be more "inclusive" today, but they tend to attack those who dont have specific preferences.
I don't know, even myself, I've been struggling lately. Found some alright people to talk with on here though! :)

[Little_Bumblebee]

@KrissAvarr00 I'm glad you found some people to talk with on here :)

[KrissAvarr00]

Would you mind adding yourself to that list? ;) I am always looking for new friends.

[KrissAvarr00]

Oh, and would you mind sending a DM? I notice your settings are different. :) If not, no worries.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Preference: anyone should be able to have one. Do you know how many genetic disaster fat landwhales and old chicks would basically rape me?

Hell no to that... I put in work and don't remain stagnant like them so there is no reason I should give women that make such a choice to be a shit show a chance to get bred by me. They are shit and deserve shit. At best I'll bust in their hair and rub it into their hair so they have no chance to sperm-jack me.

I get wolf-whistled by undesirables and fags... just being real. The really hawt chicks I wish would be into me like that... they simply don't do that. They look a little too long at best in public.

In private though... I'll keep that private.

[notwoke]

your right on. by the logic of this original post, I guess we can't reject men for having a low wage job, back hair, baldness, or body odor

[ElGato31]

Disagree. I would always be bothered if the guy is shorter than me. I had a few dates with someone who was 5"4, I'm 5"7. I felt like a grizzly bear next to him.

I am not attracted to overweight guys either. I don't think we could have a satisfying sex life. Wouldn't work for other reasons either.

And I don't want to be with someone who just settles with me because of my great personality. If they don't like how I look, it's never going to work.

[Maninderdeepsharma]

Yeah same case with me

[misogynistic_pig]

Each person has the right to decide who they want to have a romantic relationship with and who they don't.

There is no obligation to accept someone's romantic advances just because it is politically correct or for any other reason.

From this perspective, physical appearance is not the only consideration when deciding to accept or reject someone's romantic advances.

However, men may have the opinion that physical appearance is an important factor in a romantic relationship, and that it is not wrong to have certain physical preferences.

Consequently, you shouldn't feel compelled to accept someone's romantic advances completely if you're not physically attracted to them.

Ultimately, everyone has the right to decide who they want to be romantically involved with, and no one should feel compelled to accept someone's advances just because they are considered politically correct.

[coachTanthony]

Consequently Chat GPT strikes again lol

[Paul_in_Indy]

This is such a weird question; yet it comes up all the time. From where does this idea of affirmative action in relationships come from? Who really thinks that we must date, sleep with, marry (?) someone because they approached us and we don’t have a “legal” objection to them?

I would reject the advances of a beautiful woman (a “10”) if I didn’t feel that “spark.” If I’m choosing my special someone, they need to be the right someone. I refuse to play a game in which I am required to “choose” the first person who flirts with me unless I can meet a three part test for non-discriminatory rejection.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t know. You are just attracted to who you are attracted.

I am planning to have children with that man I’ll choose and I want my children to be healthy individuals and feel like they are blessed with their genes.

So, I like to choose a handsome man who is also strong, protective, sweet and nice.

If I ever settle for less there will always be a man I’ll be more attracted than my partner.

However, If I choose the type of man that’s physically ideal for me, I’ll live a life like all the other men are just girls for me.

That was the case with my fiancé , I was so attracted to him, all the other men were just so unattractive compared to him, I was as very loyal to him.

[Aakash_Hangargi]

Was?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@Aakash_Hangargi We are not together anymore.

[genericname85]

strongly disagree. i think it's totally fine to have some physical deal breakers. i think people who disagree are probably either tiny or fat so they get butthurt thinking of the idea of being rejected for that.

like i am a little bit below average hight for a man in my country. and i feel the butthurt coming up a little when i think of a girl rejecting me for hight. but i still think it's totally fine to have that preference.

[Razp_Sorbet]

If the person is perfect in every other way it's very shallow to reject them and your own happiness based on something so trivial

[wowop99266]

Finally, a logical response for once.

[coachTanthony]

It's trivial until you have to live with it for the rest of your life.

[Razp_Sorbet]

Weight can change, if you're so worried about someones height then something needs to change in you.

[coachTanthony]

Just because weight can change doesn't mean they want it to change and trying to change others is no different then just saying, not interested in fat people.

[Razp_Sorbet]

As I said it's shallow to be worried about trivial things.

[coachTanthony]

You want to settle in life go for it.

[Razp_Sorbet]

I dont think being with someone who is otherwise perfect is settling. My point is if you're considering dating someone and you're like wow this person is amazing they treat me so well I have never felt like this before, too bad they're short. Then you have some serious self reflecting to do because that is some fucked up mindset.

[coachTanthony]

Well women do it all the time. They make a list of their perfect qualities for them they are looking for on dating sites then at the end say but if you aren't over 6foot don't bother. So yeah it can be fucked up but it's still their preference not being shallow.

[Razp_Sorbet]

In the situation I have described, it is being shallow. There's no doubt about that. Doing it on profiles when on dating apps is quite different.

[coachTanthony]

If the person is 150 pounds overweight then that isn't healthy and not perfect in anyway. But I understand there are one off's in life and it is possible I guess.

[Razp_Sorbet]

You're kind of screwing with my words there and I don't appreciate it. You know damn well that when I'm talking about being perfect I'm talking about compatibility not a persons health. Nobody is ever going to be a 100% perfect person for you, we are all too different for that to be possible.

[coachTanthony]

I hope a lot of women see this because so many men who are under 6 foot are great men and they are missing out. I agree with what you are saying.

[notwoke]

@wowop99266 ifs its not right to "unchoose" someone for weight then it must not be right to unchoose them for some other characteristic, how do we go about choosing mates. this whole question is fucked if you think about it

[Paul_in_Indy]

Raz, you keep responding as if you WANT to be with this person but you are NOT ALLOWED because of height/weight. That would be tragic. …but the question is: If you do NOT want to be with someone, should you be forced to reconsider because your reasons aren’t good enough.

Your reasons are your reasons, and they are hard to articulate. If you think someone is perfect, then you DO NOT WANT TO REJECT THEM. …but if you don’t want to go out with them and the only reason you can put into words is their physique, then that person is not perfect. I vote you should be allowed to not like them.

But no one is saying you should have to reject them if you do like them.

[Razp_Sorbet]

@Paul_in_Indy I think you misread my opinion. I made myself very clear.

[Paul_in_Indy]

I read it, but you aren’t making sense. No one is asking you to walk away from a guy who you think is perfect and whom you expect you will make you happy. No one is trying to talk you out of someone you really like.

But why should you be required to be involved with a guy you don’t like? …because you didn’t like him for “the wrong reason?”

[Razp_Sorbet]

@Paul_in_Indy yeah you're clearly not reading it right. Did you read all my comments? Others don't seem to have any issues understanding my point.

[wowop99266]

@notwoke As someone who doesn't consider weight as a dealbreaker, or any other physical characteristic as a dealbreaker, I have to agree that it is stupid to reject someone solely based on that.

[Lliam]

It's fine to reject someone's romantic advances entirely because of height or weight. The same goes for other physical features, age, or anything else. People are allowed their preferences when it comes to romantic attraction. It's their business, no one else's.

Call it shallow, but I don't want sex with someone I don't find physically attractive.

[Nikki1989]

You can have your preferences but keep them to yourself. No one needs to know your insecurities.

[coachTanthony]

How is having a preference an insecurity?

[Sasha0426]

You have preferences, don’t you?

[FeminineHSP]

True. No one needs to share it unless asked.

[wowop99266]

Agree. This is a common misconception people refuse to deprogram, people have preferences, that's one thing, but to reject someone solely because of something, that is NOT preferences, that is requirements. Women do not have height preferences, they have height requirements. Men have preferences, because a man can prefer a certain look but still be with someone that isn't their type, women are not like that. Women's attraction is 100% purely one dimensional, you're either 5'10 or above or they just do not reciprocate to you.

[Guardian45]

I would have said 'Disagree' if you didn't use the word "entirely". People know what they find attractive, but people are more than height and weight or at least I am!😂

[coachTanthony]

So many men think they get rejected based on height alone so just seeing what a question like this will invoke from people lol

[Guardian45]

I agree that height does seem to be important for many women.

[serious]

Well not height but weight is something that I give importance too. I always give importance to physical looks of a person so I cannot ignore that.

Hence I disagree

[Potteplante]

I disagree.

People have preferences and that's fair. However, when rejecting someone based on either things - there's no need to be an asshole about it.

[Wish4UrB00ty]

I don’t think it matters so much if you do but if you tell someone then they will only know you are the most shallow individual they know… lol!