Why do people like to act like it's so great to be single?

Question

I avoid eating out at restaurants because i don't want to eat alone. I can't even go traveling because I have nobody to go with. I want to go to japan. I have a few friends but none of them want to go to japan. I don't want to travel all by myself. If I wanted to go to an event , I would have to beg a million people then I would end up finding 1 person. This person would usually end up canceling on me a few hours before the event. When I'm having a bad day at work, I wouldn't have anyone to talk to about my problems. I can't even get a hug from anyone when i need it since I live alone. My friends don't want to hear about all my troubles every week. Who wants to hear about all your life's misery? nobody cares!! I just feel so isolated coming home to an empty silent apartment all the time.

Unless you have a whole gang of people you talk to on a daily basis that also loves you, I dont see being single as a lovely life. I truly believe that humans are herd animals.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

This does sound like a “YOU” problem.

I choose to be single and lonely on my own. I choose this because of my weight. I don’t want to project my self esteem problems and insecurities onto someone else.

I first want to be the best version of me and the healthiest version of me before getting into someone’s life.

Being single and lonely CAN get to your head, if you’re not used to this type of lifestyle. However, when I hear my friends talk about how they get cheated on. How some of my Married friends also get cheated on. How some of my friends have been turned into single mothers due to their narcissistic husband. And so on. I more than anything FEEL GRATEFUL, that I’m not in no gay f-ken relationship. Even some of my hottest friends get cheated on. All of them put at risk of AIDS STDs and more.

Screw all that 🖕🖕 I have my cat, my videogames, I have my parents who l live with, my sister who I live with, my grandmother who I live with. I have about 5 people who I’m living with. I’m not about to feel all lonely anytime soon. And I’m having fun. I’m dating attractive men.

I also dont like the idea of being stuck in a relationship were my boyfriend or partner is unattractive and undesirable. I know many women decide to settle with a man who’s unappealing and unattractive because he provides money and he’s more likely to stay in the relationship. He’s less likely to cheat. I don’t like that. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t make me get wet. 😒😒

If I want to travel; I travel with my parents. If I want to watch a new movie; I do it with my sister. If I want to go shopping; I go with my sister and cousin. If I’m all alone at home which is rare by the way. I have my cat & videogames. I don’t even sit at restaurants because those are dirty and sticky and smell like feet. I eat at home or get delivery. Or bring home food. Or I eat in my car. Im not about to sit in no dirty restaurant. 🤮

The only time I sit in a restaurant is when I go out with my parents. And when my uncles take us all out.

You need to learn how to be happy all alone girl. You need to have self acceptance. And self love, even before getting into one of these gay prison relationships. Because what happens if the guy leaves you or tries to leave you. Break up with you. Then you’re gonna feel co-dependent and you’re gonna FEAR going back into loneliness and singleness. You’re then gonna allow your partner to abuse you or cheat on you. Just because you don’t want to stay single. 🤡

Then If he turns you off, and you want to break up; you’ll then cheat on him intead, because again. You don’t want to be single. 🤡

annabananna · Accepted Answer

I just want to say that you may want to look into travel groups. There are groups you can travel with and I’m sure you could find online. You’ll meet new people as well who also like to travel.

godfatherfan · Accepted Answer

That is you, not everyone.

I was married for 20 years, with my ex for 25. I fought to keep my marriage going. But now that I am single, I love being single.

I can eat what I want, when I want. I can watch what I want, when I want. I can buy what I want, when I want. Nobody bitching about shit that they could do themselves or just doesn't matter.

If I want to go to a restaurant, I go. Movies you watch alone anyway, even if you sit next to someone. I would love to travel by myself, because when I do, I can do everything I want to do. I don't have to pretend to want to do something I don't want to do.

Would I like to be in a relationship? Sometimes. It can be lonely at times. But I keep asking myself "do I want to date, or watch XYZ on TV". So far, the answer is "watch XYZ on TV". I haven't dated in over 3 years. I am not saying never. If something presents itself, then I may pursue her. But I HATE dating. Some people love that early time of getting to know someone. I got married young so I wouldn't have to date. I hate that early period of dating. I would love it if there was a "fast forward 1 yr" button I could hit when dating.

Fireguy17 · Accepted Answer

because it can be.
I have been single for long periods of time, 5 years or more by my choice.
I was tired of dating, looking for someone and just decided to enjoy life.
I am very active, and I am just fine by myself.
You can find travel groups to travel with.
Eating alone at least for me isn't a big deal.
Grab lunch to go and sit in a park and watch the world go by.
Once you get out and about you can possibly make new friends.
you never know.
Do something out of your comfort zone, go to yoga, cooking class, find a class on something you want to learn more about, walk dogs, volunteer at a local animal shelter.
Just get out of the house and stay busy.
In time you will be just fine.

sheenagwapa · Answer

single is nice especially if you are a religious person and an introvert... when your faith is stronh you are happy it feels like magic. it's quite and it is peaceful. i actually kinda get why nuns choose theie way of life. but i miss human connections too not necessarily with a boyfriend but with friends especially if yoy have funny friends and relatives because i love to laugh but even not funny just any person. i prefer to be with humble nice people because irl i don't like bitchiness snd arrogance but i can get alonh with different type thise are just the people i enjoy hamginh out with. but i'm no hyocrite i think i'm soft-spoken and a good listener snd trust-worthy tok.

but with havinh a boyfriend it's nice if at hime. i'm not really into pda. i enoy grocery shopping with my ex before. at home it's nice to have someone you can be intimate with and you also find cute all the time you're like always blushinh and i think the best travel partner is your SO because love and care from SO is different. my SO treat me like a princess and so in return because of the love i feel i also cate for him too like a motherly care

Anonymous · Answer

Your spouse doesn’t want to her all of your problems every day either, they’re not your therapist. Your souse may not want to do the things you want to do. For example my maternal grandfather almost never left the house if he didn’t have to. My grandmother had to do everything alone. If she wanted to go out and eat, go shopping, grovery shopping, going on road trips, going to the movies, to the beach, for a walk, mushroom oicking - he never joined her on anything. Kind of same with my parents. My dad mever wanted to do anything. If mom wanted to go out and eat - ”nah, I don’t feel like it. If she wanted to go for walks - ”I don’t like walks” ans so on and on. I don’t remember my parents ever doing anything together just the to of them other than going to the pub a few times.

I don’t feel lonely because if I want to do something I can go with a family member (and yes I talk to them daily and see them multiple times a week and have travelled abroad with my sibling several times) and I also have 3 kids so even if my family members couldn’t for example go out to eat I’m still not going alone because obviously I bring my children. I really don’t miss having a partner and just the thought of even dating is making me tired. I’m so fed up with all of the bullshit that come with dating and relationships. The only things that would be nice would be an extra income and to not have to get someone to babysit every time I have an appointment for myself or one of my kids, a meeting at my kids daycare or whatever. But even that, having a partner doesn’t mean they do shit. They may be unemployed, nothing around the house or with the kids (like my cousins boyfriend who can’t even watch their daughter alone a couple of hours so everytime my cousin goes somewhere her boyfriend takes their daughter to his mom or my cousins parents…), may be deployed somewhere or what not. A truck driver who’s away 4 days a week who knows. So no.

ElGato31 · Answer

I frequently go out to eat in restaurants alone. I go to gigs, events alone. I only travel alone because it's liberating. I am free to go wherever I want.

My life is too short to wait for others and I always find companions on the way. Like I stayed in a pod hostel more than a year ago. My pod neighbour, girl, invited me for a few drinks, another guy joined. It became a random pub crawl, meeting others on the way. I still keep in touch with them.

When I have a bad day at work, rarely, mind you, I can talk to my mates.

You're right, hardly anyone wants to hear about your misery but it is only you who can change it by taking chances and putting yourself out there.

The relationship will come organically, it's not going to be forced, I'm not out to find someone to be in a relationship, but the opposite. If I meet someone I'd be happy to spend my free time with, I will consider a relationship, because then it's not going to be out of desperation

Miristheiss · Answer

I'm married now but I had a blast when I was single. I hung out with groups of different friends all the time, I'd be gone all day, sports, going out to eat, movies, traveling... doing stuff all the time. I was free to pursue any hobby or passion I wanted. I was lonely sometimes when I was by myself for too long but after being married I miss having some alone time. I don't need a lot of it but I wouldn't mind having more than I currently have.

If you get out there and do a lot of things and surround yourself with friends and activities it can be great. If you do nothing and you are alone all the time then it probably is a downer.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Sometimes being single is a really big blessing.

Speaking from my perspective, the first time I found myself single after an ended relationship I had to work on my self esteem and confidence. The break up forced me to. And it was the best thing that ever happened to me because I was a gullible little girl.

More recently, I was absolutely miserable in my last relationship and although the break up hurt, I am soooo happy to be single and have freedom. I love going out with my friends, meeting lots of different guys (online too) and just having a good time. No commitment. No strings attached.

Until one day, I meet that special person…

When you learn to be alone you won’t settle for just anyone anymore because you’re not desperate.

xoxosilentgirl · Answer

Thats more like preference and personal need. I know some poeple who loves being alone than anything else. I started to eat outside, watch movie, and travel alone since teenage years although some friends ask me if they can hungout with. Also some people prefer to being alone and single because they couldn’t find someone they can connect with, and for them its better to be alone rather than spending time with people that don’t pass their vibe. From my personal experience, being single is fun, i just hate being in intimacy with others.

serious · Answer

No, it is not acting and how are you sure people act as if it is great to be single?

Well, I have always been single. It is indeed great to be single, there are plenty of benefits of being single much more than ones who are in relationships. Of course it depends on a person's perspective also as to how they see it.

Coming to you, I understand what you are saying but since you chose to be remain single and you should be aware there will be consequences for the same. I mean it is not a given that you will have many people in your life, even as friends because everyone is busy in their own lives. You should know you should be mentally prepared with the fact that you won't have many people to even talk too.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

It sounds like it’s not a boyfriend that you necessarily need but better friends 🤷‍♂️

All my friends are always there to hear me talk about my problems and give me a hug when I need it. That’s what friends are supposed to do. And my friends would never cancel on me just hours before an event.
If your friends make you feel like you’re bothering them with that stuff, then it’s time to find some new people to talk to.

I get that friends might not be the same as having a partner, but I’m sure if you had friends who cared about you more then you wouldn’t feel as lonely

Anonymous · Answer

It's important to remember that everyone has their own individual experiences and preferences when it comes to relationships and being single. While some people may enjoy the freedom and independence that comes with being single, others may feel lonely or isolated without the support and companionship of others.

It's okay to feel the way you do and to acknowledge your own needs and desires for companionship and connection. It may be helpful to explore different ways to meet new people and build relationships, such as joining social groups or online communities that share your interests or values.

Remember to prioritize your own well-being and to communicate your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully in any relationship or interaction. If you continue to feel isolated or alone, it may be helpful to talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist about your feelings and concerns.

Jltakk · Answer

To be honest, I think most of the time its a forced positive twist by those that don't really truly believe that its a positive thing. A false platitude meant to make one feel better about their life decisions or the hand they've been dealt with. As someone who's never been in a relationship, I find it rather annoying when instead of seeing the situation as it is, they'd rather paint it with rosy colors and maybe then the dark feelings will go away. It just adds to the bleakness and monotony. What do I know though

CubsterShura · Answer

Sounds like a you problem and not a single problem. I'm often eating outside alone to my favorite restaurants. Traveling alone is tough because it's more expensive and risky so that is certainly a bummer, but the freedom in doing whatever I like without the influence of a partner is such a journey to discover yourself and how you would rather be if there was no one you would want to constantly impress in your life. You would know what really matters to you. I blast my favorite music, buy clothing that I like, spend my time doing my favorite hobbies like reading and puzzle games and watching old movies... Seriously, when I'm dating someone often I feel like I can't fully do things that I love and I have to do things I'd rather not do. Nothing wrong with compromise and sacrifice in a relationship, but the freedom in being single is priceless.

Potteplante · Answer

I think it's pretty great being single. I can do what I want - whenever I want without a compromise. I can travel, go to events/out - I don't mind eating alone, I'd to it at times when my late fiance still was alive.

I'm not actively seeking a partner, if it happens - it happens, as it is now I'm happily single.

Sour-rose · Answer

Because i don't have to wait for Jessica to get off her phone just to have some time with me. Or tell this ugly n*gga that I said I'm asexual and you ain't gonna change it, no matter how many times you grab my ass and say "just try it with me"..

None of that shi. :D It's just... me. And it feels very good.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

It's just cope. They're trying to talk themselves into believing that they don't need human connection.

Now, to be clear, there are people who are very happy as single folks and that's wonderful. Most people are not at peace with themselves well enough to be happy alone though.

megabamse · Answer

A person who are healthy emotionally often don't feel the need of a relationship because they are happy from before. But willing to share their happiness with a partner if that time comes. To believe that our life will be completed and happy if we have a relationship that is just screaming mental issues that need some attention

Anonymous · Answer

You will never get far in life if you can't accept that other people's experiences can be differefrom yours.

They're not pretending.

E. g

"I can't even go traveling because I have nobody to go with" That's on you. Plenty of people travel alone.

bolverk · Answer

There is nothing inherently wrong with being single, I have been single for the majority of my life, that was through choice as I'd take short notice contracts that let me see the world, for me the only real downside to being single is being stuck with single occupancy supplements when on holiday, If I need a hug or someone to talk to I have my family, but usually it is me being the one giving the hug and listening to the woes of my family.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

So I've been single for a while and in a weird way being alone and whatnot feels less lonely than when I was with my ex. That said, I make it point to attend events and be social even though I'm not the most social person but I do need to fill up my social needs.

JSmuve · Answer

Those people probably have had shitty relationships with people and see that being single is the "better life".

"If I wanted to go to an event , I would have to beg a million people then I would end up finding 1 person. This person would usually end up canceling on me a few hours before the event." <------ sounds like trying to date a girl, tbh. Ask a bunch, get turned down. One says yes, but then flakes. It's rough out there.

UncleBilll · Answer

I have ZERO problems going to places alone, gives me time to relax and observe other people, in restaurants, malls I shop occasionally, travel to different countries, doing what I want on my schedule. Date who I want, when I want. Have sex with who I want. I am not lonely I have girls that are sex buddies, I have guy friends I pal with... I got 3 daughters one still at home. I am good to go...

magiusX26 · Answer

did not read through all of this, just the starting question and 1st sentence about eating out alone.

sounds more like you are letting your worry over what other people think control how you feel about yourself. sorry to break the news to you, but no matter what you do or dont do, you will be criticized by someone. happiness comes from within yourself, try to stop letting other people's perception of your life (being lived only by you instead of them) be your source of faux happiness.

Anonymous · Answer

That’s your thoughts way of thinking of life and love etc you can’t included everyone who’s single in your opinion..
if you think it’s so bad and sad how you describe it you can’t travel etc than find a partner !
Why do you question yourself and think everyone is as you. That’s what overthinking does to your brain

Anonymous · Answer

Being single is great for some and not so great for others. It's probably more natural for a man to be single than a woman. A lot of us guys enjoy our solitude and have loads of different hobbies or just enjoy being in peace. I've been single for ages and have zero plans of changing this. I absolutely love my time in solitude. I know some guys that travel alone too. When anyone mentions Lone wolf... females aren't the first thing that come to mind, men are.

CreatingWonders · Answer

I don’t act, with the narcissistic weirdo I just got away from made me realise that being alone is a good thing.

I now can do what I want without someone nagging me constantly and hitting me and talking rubbish about me behind my back.

I’d rather be single than with someone.

melanieeeB · Answer

Cause it is lol Just cause it's not for you, doesn't mean everyone else feels the same.
Honestly sounds like you don't get along with yourself... I recommend working on self love and acceptance and also maybe find new friends who are willing to do the things you would like to do! Maybe a new workplace even, with coworkers who care.
Or just getting close to your family and building up those relationships too.

exitseven · Answer

I have known guys who were single that really like it. They have lots of activities that you can engage in by yourself and are comfortable being alone. However most of these guys have some close friends and some have girlfriends.

GoingDownSouth · Answer

I was okay with it until I read this. Now I realize I miss out on the same things you do. I miss hugs and kisses with an SO daily. I haven’t been to the movies in over a year.

I've been to Japan, but I would go again. I would love to go to Italy, but I'm never gonna go alone.
😔😪

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Well, it has its own advantages.  Before break up I was constantly stressed in my relationship.  No more stress, no more worries. Just a sadness with relief.

SpookyDoge12 · Answer

Considering I've never been in a relationship, it's just normal to me. Of course, I'd like to have a partner, but I feel like I'm not in the best shape or best state of mind to do so. I am an introvert so that might be another reason I'm not rushing to be in a relationship.

Hannajenky · Answer

People can actually enjoy spending time alone. If you are unable to appreciate and love yourself, you are most likely not mature enough to be in an actual relationship

BCA6010 · Answer

Not to say there are no perks to being single, but much of what you're describing is desperate self assurance.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Humans are social creatures, this is correct but being in a relationship doesn’t solve loneliness.

Jdjfjcjj · Answer

I. F. F you assume that the comparison is between single VS a relationship with the  right  person..

Nikki1989 · Answer

They tell themselves that to feel better about their situation.

Sunssong · Answer

For some, it is...  
 For some, it is not...

NamerOfStars · Answer

Why do people spam the question again and again, mere days apart?

Iron_Man · Answer

I agree it sucks being single I don’t eat at restaurants either that are high class by myself. I don’t like traveling by myself either. This is the first time I’ve been alone now.

clampfan101 · Answer

They’re telling a lie they want to believe because they gave up finding a relationship. The more people believe the lie, the more the lie spreaders can believe it.

LiamJHayden · Answer

I'm single, but I have a slew of friends and can always get a date if I need one. But yes, if I were truly solo all the time life would be dreary.

jamesgoldman · Answer

Because it is You can do what you want when you want, you know

PatriceONeal · Answer

Single doesn't mean you don't have friends. It means you don't have a nagging woman ruining your life draining your funds and energy.

LimitedBenefits101 · Answer

Sounds like you are insecure and care about what people think about you since you can't even eat alone at restaurants

Anonymous · Answer

As an incel myself, I have to look at the positives of being single. And you know there are a lot of positives to it, once you've been alone for so long, you can't fathom the idea of sharing yourself with anyone else.

SweetTwistedSatanist · Answer

The people who act, suffer. That's their problem. The people who enjoy being single, good for them!

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Because they believe a single life is an easy life but in actuality it’s a life of fear

noohair · Answer

I have found blissful solitude and it is like nothing I have experienced.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Unless you are a hideous land whale, you have chosen to be alone. How many guys have you curbed?

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

It is if you can handle it. Problem is the immense majority of people can't handle being single.

WhiteBoyChill · Answer

Honestly everybody’s different. Not everybody let’s being single get to them

Anonymous · Answer

It can be for some and not so for others. Personally I love it. I keep to myself and don’t go out unless it’s for work

Anonymous · Answer

I struggle being alone as a single man but it doesn’t bother me eating alone. It bothers me sleeping alone

Anonymous · Answer

What does it mean?

NostalgiaSenpi · Answer

You just get used to it.

Jmmmfi4 · Answer

You sound like me

AnonGuy9000 · Answer

Find better friends then.

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