Am I in an abusive relationship,? IThink he still has feelings for his ex? Help me?

[NEFXx]

I've been in a relationship with a guy for almost 6 months now, we get on great, but I have noticed he's changing a bit, at the beginning he was so lovely and sweet to me ( he still can be sweet) but now lately he's calling me names, pinching me, he poured ketchup sauce all over my face, poured a bottle of water on me, calls me a sl*t, tells me to shut up but it's all in a joking way. He says he's Messing and that I'm too sensitive etc. And then I think oh maybe i am? Maybe I am being to sensitive. I'm lost and feel very confused. He stills talks about his ex especially when he's drunk, and gets angry about her boyfriend (I think he still has feelings for her) he trys to make her jelaous with me all the time. I find that a bit upsetting. He gets very moody amd annoyed so easily, if I try to mess with him he'll stop talking to me and get real grumpy. He can dish it, but he can't take it. I dunno what to do. It's exhausting.

[Rosexøxø]

Break Up. BreakupbreakupbreakupbreakUP.

I dated a (ik take it easy lol) 64-year-old. The plus was that LDR/ online meant I was safe from anything physical like that. It also offered me enough of the time to learn how things REALLY were, and let my emotions die to him.

YOU- don't have this luxury, only SINCE you seem to be sharing close quarters with him. He won't just let you fall out of love with him, but he will give you wounds physically and emotionally on yourself, that only YOU will have to deal with later down the road after you finally leave that mess.

I don't care about the age difference- I can see that same level of masked toxicity from my ex, in that "guy pal" of yours.

Let me choose my words carefully- HE. IS. A. MONSTER.

If you still feel love and feelings for him (what you feel in affection is 100% real; what he feels is not genuine love. It's 100% fake, and only something terrible), you separating will not guarantee it's over, you may still think or wonder at times:

"does he miss me? maybe I was wrong.."

NO

you are right- and you must not kill your own gut and instinct. Your instinct WILL save you. Listen to that more than me, and don't overthink this-

any overthinking you do will be to compensate and make elbow room for him.

DON'T.

IF we are ever wrong in this life, we learn our lessons in a flash moment of an epiphany in the circumstances- SO stop trying to beat this so-called "lesson" into your brain.

Don't let him rewire your brain because IF you stay, I promise it will.

It is even scientific, that every time we do not listen to our gut, we become desensitized to our instincts and become more and MORE indecisive.

DO NOT let this happen.

This "lesson you're trying to learn " is not a real lesson and you're only trying to adopt his perspective. He's training you like his pet. That IS WRONG.

He's not a good lover, man, or owner of any kind- real pets or BDSM or whatever!

This individual DOES NOT love you. I am sorry. I feel this urgency to tell you because I feel I saved myself from something horrendous, and I don't want a sister to fall into something like that and never make it out.

I'm not jealous- fuck whoever you want.. amen to that sis lol

I want you to have true love.. If it's out there, I want YOU to have it.

I'm not making this about me or what I learned- I'll write a book if I have to.

THIS.

THIS POST IS FOR YOU.

My urgency is for you. My best wishes for you to succeed- are FOR YOU.

I get, I'm a stranger, but I see and literally read this situation, and I know the realness of it, and I know YOU are that much more REAL of a person.

I beg with my last ounce of energy. Please. Break up with that guy. I cannot read a story like this, and have in the back of my mind a knowing that someone stayed in a terrible environment, and lost who they were- their authentic wonderful, and unique self.

Plenty of men, and friends out there, sis.

Fall in love with dreams and life.

This one is TOO DAMN SHORT to be living it for someone like him. He will nevermore; neverrrrr appreciate you.

People like him DON'T change. THAT'S WHO they CHANGED INTO!

he's already a metaphorical butterfly. It's done, sis. Please.

consider these words. Hopefully, they resonate with your gut enough to jump-start you to be on your way again, like the rest of us. You're not alone. We all face loneliness and the striving and journey for dreams.

It's possible and we can do this. Just don't do THAT with HIM.

Don't settle. Don't sit out right there.

Life is a marathon; a journey. Don't sit out, right there... :[

[Rosexøxø]

You are right. He is abusive.

And you caught it this time, but don't overestimate how much you or anyone can tolerate that from another person.

That promises you nothing.

Fuck others. Spend time with others. Find love elsewhere. You can get the good ( if any- I mean, maybe you imagined it up with him as some of us do. Myself included), you saw in him in others and only better with others. There are BETTER people than him out here. We all out here, okay? lol

7 billion... 7 billion... don't absolutely lose it for one who is a copy and paste of other abusive men.

Yeah, we ALL have hard lives- it doesn't justify treating others wrong like that. Never. Not in a million years.

[Rosexøxø]

@CharlotteCayley No lady! NO scam guys! I don't like itttt

find a new way to make money PLEASE

bless you alll

best to you guys

[SphynxUK]

He’s manipulating you and using you. None of what he says and does is a joke; he meant it. Get out while you can. Have a lucky escape like his ex did!

[Rosexøxø]

oh true point! His ex did save herself something lol

Safe getaway.

Good eye.

[megabamse]

Ok, well. I would get out of that relationship, because it might be to much to deal with for the both of you. He has trauma and lots of unhealthy issus. He might be a really good hearted guy, but all this unsolved issues making him lose control. You are not the reason for any of his outburst, he might get triggered by a few things you do. But that trigger has existed long before you came into the picture. It's all up to you what you do. But i would not risk talking to him about this face to face. Knowing myself how traumatized people can sometimes lose control and accidentally do something damaging i do believe you should break up with him over the phone. Take only with you things you have the need for and leave. I do believe it is important you tell him that this is not his fault, but you can't be his healer and punching bag. But you can be there and talk over the phone if he needs it but only of he can talk respectfully. Tell him that there is no shame in getting help, and his closest ones love him and wants the best for him. Right now "you"(him) are to broken to interact in a healthy way with the world around you. That "you" need to talk to a psychologist not because you are crazy, but because your deserve to be taken care of, deserve to be listen to, deserve to heal and get tools to understand what's going on. "You" deserve to be loved, and that can only happen if you take care of yourself, because you will be there in good and bad. But your friends might not be there if all they get is your pain in the form of anger and violence. Do yourself the favor of getting to learn a way to heal this pain. (Talking as this was you talking to him). His depression and pain is shown in form of violence and anger. I'm sad to say it will only get more violent over time if he don't take getting help seriously. It will take several months and maybe a few years till he gets better. But during this time, it's the best if he is not in a relationship. But it is important to have friends or family that helps him.

[Anonymous]

Based on what you've shared, it sounds like your relationship may be emotionally abusive. Name-calling, physical aggression (even if it's "joking"), and making you feel like you're "too sensitive" are not healthy behaviors in a relationship. It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and that you have the right to set boundaries.

Additionally, his behavior towards his ex-girlfriend and trying to make her jealous with you is a red flag. It's possible that he still has unresolved feelings for her, and this is not fair to you.

It's important to prioritize your own safety and well-being. If you feel comfortable doing so, you could try talking to him about how his behavior makes you feel and set clear boundaries for what you will and will not accept in the relationship. However, if you don't feel comfortable having that conversation or if you feel like it won't be effective, it may be best to consider ending the relationship and seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counselor to help you through this difficult time.

[Rosexøxø]

yeah with your first sentence- it seems like gaslighting. That's just so wrong.

[Rosexøxø]

I agree with everything you said. Well said a 100%

To the point. Respectful. Covered all the angles. Didn't categorize her, but just gave her the facts and the info.

Really nicely done. Thanks for this.

[Opinion Owner]

@Rosexøxø you’re welcome and most definitely

[Guy13]

Get out. Turnaround, walk the other way, and never contact again. Police even?

[Finchie40]

It sounds like you need to walk the other way , He isn’t ready to be in a relationship, he just likes the convenience of you so in a sense you are wasting your time being with a guy like that. He clearly isn’t over his ex and that is a huge red flag that someone is just stinging you along , if he really liked you he wouldn’t be talking about his ex and wouldn’t give 2 shots about her new boyfriend , so your best bet is to move on

[VikingWarLord]

You're insecure and probably don't think you'll ever get anything better than him so you stick around. I know your "type" like the back of my hand. I'd still advise your Azz to run like the wind.

[Sasha0426]

What’s her type exactly? Also, she’s only been with him for 6 months. That’s not very long.

[Sasha0426]

I’m not saying she should stay. I agree, she should leave. But, how do you know for sure that’s her type? I mean, they haven’t been together long and she just found out.

[Rosexøxø]

@Sasha0426 I also stood 4-6 months with her ex's "type" so as much as I hate that guy's word choice- he's right SHE should leave. I thought i couldn't get any better. I thought the 64 year old I dated was the last of "kind and moral people" due to his generation, but I was WRONG. He was just as bad. He had all the right sayings of his time... but he was a bad person. He didn't live out those sayings.

Like some real-deal "false prophet."

He'd be the "priest" who violated someone.

He spoke facts, and lived crimes.

I can do better than that turd, and I will. Just like I could, i know this girl can.

Anyone who stays with someone 4- 6 months with that poor behavior? Is not a good sign. They aren't saints so it only means we are making up for them and covering up their bad behavior with out hallucinations, and doubts. She needs to leave that man because he will never be anything. Not any ounce of good for her.

[Rosexøxø]

@VikingWarLord I GET you can be all smart and knowing of girls..

yeah, really impressive, and maybe she will appreciate some of what you said, but no one can receive any really good advice, when it's served with some self-righteousness/ self-praise or so.

You kind of gave her- a backhanded DISS. lol

What about her guy's "TYPE"

you know him? or are you trying to be a macho man who doesn't know men because "oh I'm not gay."

Thanks for the help. See, I'm thanking you, but will you be able to receive it, when I give you a diss to reverse that self-praise you handed yourself?

Self-pat on the back? lol

Anywayssss

...

I KNOW HIS TYPE, and I KNOW a little of your type too. I don't actually need to know your type. We will move on from this, but her situation is the focus, and her (hopefully) ex's type, is the REAL issue. Her not thinking she can get any better, wouldn't be a problem if there weren't men turds out in the world. Hurt men who choose to be turds to anyone for no good reason- because they do it to anyone... and everyone..

I hope you don't do that. Too soon to say, but you gave her a helpful recommendation THIS time.

With that, I agree.

Do you know her type? maybe so. Do you know her? Not entirely.

@NEFXx as combative as I was with Viking dude, I came to your defense here a bit, and I do love men. I won't feed gender wars. Men are pretty awesome and women rightfully so. Regardless of where anyone stands. I dislike DISRESPECT, and I add to his comment-

you CAN do and date/ fuck/ love better, and you need to stop taking any extreme abuses, and any light-scale disrespect. You're worthy. Believe you can do better, and you will 100% not fall into the clutches of another turd again.

I surely hope.

[Rosexøxø]

best to you @NEFXx best to you @sasha0426 best to you @VikingWarLord

let's make sure we're not being disrespected by others, and that we have fun while we're here. Life is too short. I'm actually done "arguing" here. I hope we receive the good messages from others, and filter out any form of negativity- in any shape or form.

[Sasha0426]

Yeah, you need to run and run far. I can see why she left him.

[Rosexøxø]

This is true. I just thought of them two, and not the exes lol I reflected on my ex's divorced wife... now I also know why them being married led to a divorce.

Context clues... dxamn, it really does help lol

[Anonymous]

wow you really are dumb.. he's an abusive prick but you like that sort of stuff otherwise you would of left a long time ago. guess you like being abused otherwise you would of left. shows you have no self respect for yourself

[Razp_Sorbet]

Red flags flying at you. Run.

[Alex8736]

RUN RUN RUN. ASAP

[NostalgiaSenpi]

End it.

[LiamJHayden]

Leave.

[In_Trance]

dump him