Ok is my ex boyfriend using me as safety net or just haven't let go or just confuse?

[Anonymous]

So it's been a few days since my ex and I really start back talking again and he kinda disappear on me at that time too. So yesterday and the day before- he spoke to me and and of last week. But he confess to me that things didn't work out with him and that girl. And he acted at 1st like I didn't know! so I was like Umm sorry to hear that. And he said that ok! I'll just start massing with you again. And it makes me feel like damn! you go and disappear on me for some times and thing's didn't work out with you and that girl. So now all of a sudden you to be in my company and all over me and flirt and (XYZ). And also to it makes me feel like was he even into the girl or just out trying to have fun and forget about me. The way he said it and looked at me! he smile looking mischievous look he did, and it wasn't something good I felt. But my thing is- I don't get--- he always use to tell me Oh it's best that we move on, Oh you and I don't make a good match, or we don't have any thing in common, or just other BS! HE SAID. And it piss me off when he use to say this any time we did hang out and I would get close to him. And I would ask him! what dose he think of me, and he would say he likes me as a friend and that I'm fun to be around. But then another time! I asked him would he date me again and he said he would. But I feel like it's kinda of my fault since we been broken up this year we ended up have sex more then we did in the relationship. I felt like I still have him when even when I knew I shouldn't. But anyways- can anyone tell me why such behavior- and why is he going back in froth with me and other girl's, if he clams that he don't won't me.. then why is he still holding on? Thanks?..

[Anonymous]

i'm sorry if I'm gonna be harsh to you but I had the same problem and I know how it ends. if he is using you whenever he feels like (calling, talking, asking favours) that's because you let him. I know that because I did that too. and that's how I learned my lesson. he maybe thinks like this 'ok, I'll go and see what's in the store and if I don't find anything interesting I'll get some food from my fridge. if I don't feel like going to the store I'm gonna grab something from a fridge'. and this time 'fridge' (being you :)) needs to be locked. he knows what's in there but he will be surprised if he finds fridge empty or locked because he thought that there's gonna be some food for him in fridge whenever he feels hungry. it might be harsh but you must not give it to him! guys are little kids that keep wanting JUST THAT cookie that they can't reach and JUST THAT toy the other kid is playing with. make him REALLY want it. start ignoring him and don't be too available. don't ask him questions, don't call him first and don't pursue him. guys come when they want to come and there's no thing in the world that will make them come if they don't feel like doing it. so next time he calls you be polite and ask him if he has something important to say and if he doesn't make some excuse that you have to go, wish him a nice day and end conversation. believe me, once the fridge is locked he'll start thinking about it even more and he's gonna wonder what sweets might be there for him :) good luck girl, stay strong! breakups are a nasty thing, I'm going through a nasty breakup myself so I understand how it must be for you

[Asker]

Yeah Ikr I hate the type of man that plays to many dang games. I mean I still have feelings for him and all and I'm sure he dose too I just sens it at times from him. But at the end of the day it doesn't matter because he can't make up his mind he is confuse about what he want in life and maybe girls. And trust and believe I don't call, and I don't call him and I don't waste my time giving my body to him. And thanks. but he needs to grow the hell-up!