Is my ex-boyfriend stringing me along or is he just a total mess who doesn't know what he wants?

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up about a month ago. The break up was mutual (or as mutual as it could've been (, we broke up because our value systems were entirely opposite and although I wanted to work through it, he told me through tearful eyes that it couldn't work out. He contacted me twice since the break-up (once on Thanksgiving which was an obvious chance to reach out and again to invite me to a party (, and after these interactions, I contacted him once to tell him that I would be coming to his show because I knew it meant a lot to him. Seeing him was interesting; he kept stealing glances at me but when we all talked in a group with our friends, it took him about 5 or ten minutes to acknowledge me but he finally hugged me goodbye. Later on, he texted me and said "thank you for coming, I really appreciated it, it was great seeing you" and of course, "you looked beautiful. can I say that?" which i loved hearing but also pissed me off. I had responded to his previous texts in a very terse manner, but this time I actually said something nice... which I think as a mistake because he then responded "thanks." I think he just wanted to see me react to his text or his compliment.

Today I heard that he asked my friend if I had talked about him and he talked about how he missed me. What I don't understand is this: he totally could've had me if he would've just TRIED instead of crying and saying it wouldn't work. Are his attempts at reaching out him missing me or does he just want my reactions? Is he manipulative or just really immature? And what is the best way to deal with him the next time he contacts me? (I still care about him, but I don't want to be strung along (


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's probably normal for a guy to miss you when he's dumped you, even if he doesn't want to get back together. It's always hard when a person is pretty much gone from your life, even if you know that you can't have a future with this person.

    Now of course I don't know how he feels, or what his motivations are. But I'd say give it some time. Maybe things will be great again between you two, but don't hang on to that thought.

    As for anastasis, pay no attention to him. I don't know why he's on this site at all since he never leaves any worthwhile input and is basically just on here to be an asshole. I guess he hasn't quite understood the purpose of this site.


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