I “liked” one of my co-workers on Hinge simply because I recognized him. He took it the wrong way and now he likes me. Help?

[hisuptowngirl]

I have a co-worker who I am cool with at work. He and I joke around to make an otherwise boring, miserable job go by faster. One day, I saw him on a dating app called Hinge and thought that it would be funny to like him. He liked me back and I send him a message saying “you look familiar? 🤔”. He played along and I just assumed that it was understood that is messaging back and forth was just friendly banter.

Things are now awkward and I’m uncomfortable at work because it’s obvious that he is thinking that it is more than what it is and he is showing signs of liking me. I try to avoid him and brush him off and I feel bad about it.

I don’t know how to let him down gently without hurting his feelings.

Help?

[Anonymous]

It is important to communicate clearly and honestly with your co-worker about your intentions and feelings. You can try having a conversation with him in a private setting and express that you were just joking around on the dating app and didn't have any romantic interest in him. Be kind but firm in your message and try to avoid leading him on or giving mixed signals.

It is also important to be respectful and professional at work, regardless of any personal dynamics or relationships. Try to maintain a cordial and friendly relationship with your co-worker, but set clear boundaries and avoid any behavior that could be perceived as flirtatious or romantic.

Remember that it is not your responsibility to manage or control your co-worker's feelings or reactions, but being clear and honest can help prevent any misunderstandings or hurt feelings down the line.

Here are some examples of how you can let your co-worker down gently without hurting his feelings:

1. "Hey, I just wanted to clarify that when I liked you on Hinge, it was just a joke and I didn't mean anything romantic by it. I value our friendship and don't want to give you the wrong impression."

2. "I appreciate that you like me, but I'm not interested in anything beyond friendship. I hope we can continue to be friends and co-workers without any awkwardness."

3. "I think you're a great guy, but I'm not looking for anything romantic right now. I hope you understand and that we can still continue to work together without any tension."

Remember to be kind, clear, and honest in your communication, but also respectful of his feelings. It is important to be firm in your message, but also empathetic and understanding of how he may be feeling.