Do you think that only women want their partners to have a good job or high salary? Do men also want such a thing while looking for a relationship?

[OKrts98]

[dynamicyandere]

I believe that men and women value different things in a partner and are attracted to different things about each other.


Most men, are not more attracted to a woman if she has a high paying career. It may be practical, yes. But in terms of creating a sense of attraction, no, there’s not really much of a contribution on the chemistry front.


For me personally, I like them to have the ability to be independent, yes. But, other than that, they don’t need to have a high paying career. So, independence, yes that’s nice. Making six figures a year or more, not necessary.


I’m perfectly fine with being the main breadwinner. In fact, I’d be perfectly fine to pay for all the bills. That’s what I currently do already. That way, my fiancée gets to relax at home and work as much or as little she wants to, working her digital art business.


Later on, I plan to start an indie production company together with her, which will likely reach 8-figures/year or more.


She will be my co-founder.


Now, would I love her the same whether she was a digital artist making a modest income vs the founder of an 8-figure production company (or some other 8-figure business)?


Yes. I would love her the same, and my attraction to her would not change, whether she made modest money or big money.


What matters to me is her character, her virtue, her loyalty, her supportiveness, her sincerity, her honesty, her love.

[nitsuj86]

I would say it's nice if she has her own money, but not really something we think or care about. I've dated quite a bit in my 36 years and have some good insights.

Most of the time women don't spend their money on me as a man. I am expected to pay for like 80% of our combined expenses. Women mostly contribute "here and there" or on smaller bills.

So why would I care if she makes a good salary, if I don't really see any of it? Sure I guess if we were married it would be helpful for building a family, but...

1. Most women want a man that makes more money than her in the first place, so again he is stuck paying the majority. Her money is "extra", but mostly for her.

2. Once she is pregnant, and babies start coming around, she will cut her work time in half, or completely, and you are paying all the bills anyway until she is able or willing to go back to work. If I have to money to support us, then the most woman would be upset having to go back to work I would think. If she is able to stay home she will want to.

3. If she makes way more than me, and is paying for all our trips and things like that, it's just a matter of time before she sees the man as dead weight, and finds a man more on "her level"

Sure some women don't care about money, but most do. So stop worrying about how much she makes, and men make more money.

[Xoxocutekitty]

I have found men don't care at all about how much a woman makes. Having been with the same guy (and having a significant lifestyle creep) for several years, even he admitted that if he would be single "today", her income might be something he'd actually consider.

When we met, I was 22, making $19hr at a deadend job with shitty coworkers and toxic management.

Quite frankly, the only reason why I was able to 'pull my own' financially was because my parents had given me a generous advance on life (I used this for our house down payment), I had lived like a peddler for 3 years prior to become debt free, and we were both OK having 7 roommates for 10 months to save up for our future. I also switched jobs and got very competitive increases each time.

For women, (maybe I run in a different circle than GAG users), a lot of us do care about him having a stable job and an income higher than or equal to ours. This mostly stems from us corporate ladies getting the short end of the maternity leave (2-6 weeks, wtf America) and wanting a real man who might be able to support the family unit should we want the option to have a real maternity leave (at least 3 months) to bond with the baby.

We expect to go back to work, so we don't need him to have a massive income, just someone who can hold down the fort financially for 3-6 months while we worry about building the important things in life: children, family.

[jennifer_bloom]

I believe attraction is a whole package scenario, for example - I want a guy who has the same colour and home decorating tastes as me cause I don't want to live in a home that I think is ugly, I want a guy who likes the same type of furniture that I like which is comfortable and traditional and good for kids. I want a guy who has the same religious views as me so we can raise our kids with matching ideas and I want a guy who has the same conflict resolution style as me because I do not want shouting or hitting in the home. I want a guy who has the same sexual style as me cause I don't want crazy or weird sex. I want a guy who likes similar foods as me and has similar travelling interests as me - somebody who prefers the Grand Canyon to a rock concert. So a fat wallet is not enough to get my interest. He needs other things too.

[Pinay_ako]

As long as he’s not lazy and he’s actually working hard to make ends meet, making honest money. I’m all for it

[Anonymous]

It's no secret that women want a man who is successful, or has the qualities it takes to be successful. That is a fact that has been proven over and over in study after study.

The qualities that attract women to a man are the very same qualities that have attracted women for thousands of years... intelligence, confidence, competence, ambition, strength, and of course income. Why? Because a woman wants a man who is capable of providing for and protecting her and her children. That has always been and always will be the driving force behind female attraction. It's coded in women's DNA due to thousands of years of evolution.

But men want very different things from a woman. A man wants a woman who is capable of giving him healthy children and successfully raising them to be successful adults. That means she needs to be kind, unselfish, compassionate, nurturing, loyal, devoted. Notice that nowhere in that list will you find "provider" or "protector". In fact, being ambitious and career focused actually conflicts with the things men actually want in a woman, because it's a red flag that she will prioritize her ambition and career above his children's wellbeing.

In short, the answer to your question is no, men do not care about their partners having a good job and high salary. That's what feminists want you to believe, but they are wrong.

[MrWolf]

I mean it's normal to look for someone who's leading a stable life and support himself.
Back In the days it was normal maybe still is like that for some people.

Yet if the person that is looking for this can't offer anything in return what's the point on even bothering with such a person.

Used to be married to such a woman expected everything and anything. Came a point In life bad things happened business crumbled. Then suddenly I've become a single person, sure I've known upfront yet had a secret hope for the better.

Now days if that girl can't match me at least half of what I've achieved I wouldn't even bother. Not because of the bad taste I had left or some other childish reason.

But because I also want to feel secure and stable and to know I can rely on that person if things take a bad turn.

And to answer no its not just the women with the man is the same.

So trust ain't given easey but to lose takes but a second.

[BeMuse]

So long as you are not a financial drain on men, they most likely don't care what you earn. If you can meet your own needs and wants with what you earn, then you could make $15 thousand a year or $15 million a year and it would make little to no difference. If he has a low salary then a woman with a enough to make up the difference in qualifying for a home mortgage would probably be a plus if you want to start a family some day. No guy wants to bust his hump and then have a spendthrift that blows all his earnings and makes it too difficult to live. If you know how to live within your means then you don't need to earn much. If you have a big appetite then you better bring home the bacon or you will end up fighting over money and getting divorced.

[HighValue]

It is mostly women that want that in a partner. In my whole life I have only met one man that cared about how much money the woman made to date her. Most women I have known have wanted their partner to make good money.

Many women that do make decent or good money that took a lot of effort to get end up angry that if she makes $80,000 a year, but another woman makes $10,000 per year but is cuter and more caring, that matters much more to men and all the years she spent of her life to get a high salary actually means nothing when it comes to getting a good partner. Plus often the women that do make good money wasted their desirable years earning that and because of her as he she has very little value to a man that wants to create and raise a family together.

[RavVid]

Pretty much most men don't care. I have lost count of how many men have said that here.

Female mate selection criteria are different to male mate selection criteria. It does seem to me that girls think that male selection criteria are the same as theirs and will say they have a good job and earn a high income but why aren't men interested in me?

The answer is of course we don't care and look for other things that are important to us.

If the important things are met then it would be a plus for a girl to have a good salary but if she doesn't it doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

A majority of men don’t care, we don’t look at that. I mean if I happen to meet a girl, we date, things get serious then I’m happy. If she happens to make a descent to really good living that’s just a bonus, but it’s not part of the equation as to whether I’d date her or not. I’d take a cute girl working at McDonalds over a fugly one making six figures a year. If a man is only going out w her because of what she makes he’s a POS, the male equivalent of a gold digger. As far as your education, I hate to say this but most men don’t care about that either.

[bamesjond0069]

No. Absolutely not. In fact it's more the opposite. If a woman actually has significant income she's already made life choices to be a provider and so a woman who has not made those choices is typically a better match if we had to make it a general rule.

The only men who want a woman with significant income are a small segment of men who don't want kids and have a high earning job. Ie lawyer dates another lawyer. Although most men want kids or at least the option or illusion they might have kids so I'd say most still don't care.

And also brokies who want a sugar mama.

[bamesjond0069]

She blocked me above so... @Jdjfjcjj ALL men are more attractive to MOST women if they have better financial situations. Period. Whether he is a 1 or a 10 is irrelevant. A rich 1 is more attractive than a broke 1. A rich 10 is more attractive than a broke 10. It's not rocket science.

Even your example "guys at getting tail in their 20s" is missing the point. Who gives a fuck about a 20yo man? The guys who bag the most 20 yo women are older men with more money, not broke 20 yo men.

[Jdjfjcjj]

Well if you missed the action in your 20s, why come in at 36 knowing the difference is your mullah

[EmmaMary]

It quite possibly was in the "olden days" but in today's more modern society it's probably very much 50/50.

[Agape93]

Nope. I couldn't give less of a shit. Long as they can pay for their own stuff and their own bills, I don't care if they're a banker or a fry cook

@PrettyPriya new admin

[OfMiceandMen]

I prefer they just be happy what they are doing as the last thing I want to do when I get home is listen to someone constantly belly-ache about their boss or a coworker.

I don't mind it happening once in a while, that's to be expected, but day in and day out, is a bit much.

[MzAsh]

It’s wise for men to care about this and seek an independent minded woman who values having her own income, especially if he’s making below 100k a year. However, many men don’t factor this in. They’ll take the Dennys waitress looking for her provider man and later regret it when he realizes he doesn’t make enough to actually provide for her.

[Dinklex3]

Depends on the person.

My friend’s husband has told her many times he wants her working a full time job & wants her to aim for manager or change jobs.

But majority of people at my work place, male and female have spouses that do not work.

[alice55]

they definitely do at least the men in France so many don't work and rely on their girlfriend cause they'er lazy and prefer playing video games and doing drugs (and they mostly get their money from selling drugs or doing random stuff on internet I don't exactly know but I know lots of guys who do it and do stuff with bitcoin and such).

[Anonymous]

Most guys don't expect all that much from women to begin with. They aren't funny, don't want to listen to their issues for sake of listening, wed rather solve issue and get the hush. In fact most these days just looking for consistent sex, peace, respect, and loyalty. They actually kind of boring tbh

[Nikki1989]

I have never cared about money. My husband wasn't even working when I met him.

[Haha456]

if you, as a woman, can make enough money. You can afford to date any guy you want regardless of his income. You can also dump him whenever you want because you don't need him financially. Be the CEO, your parents always wanted you to be.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I don't so much care about income as I do financial responsibility. I sure don't want to start a life with you if you spend all day on Amazon blowing your entire paycheck on a bunch of shit you don't need

[WanderingLoveWizard]

And the whole "Women like to shop! It's none of your business!" arguments can fuck off

[Lionman95]

I´d say no. Or at least guys are not looking for money in a partner they look more for social skills in their partner like the possibility of having an emotional bond with them or if she can be considered trust worthy or not.

[melanieeeB]

Most women don't care too much about money. Can we finally stop this myth.
Everyone should be able to care for themselves financially! And that's about it.

[bamesjond0069]

Stats as well as men's lived experiences do not back up your claim. All research shows women find successful men more attractive. And men themselves can say when they have money they get more women. So literally one girl on the internet negates either fact.

[Monalisa77]

Everyone? So some1 with health issues whos struggling to find work shouldn't bother looking?

[Jdjfjcjj]

@bamesjond0069 eh I'd say the most successful guys at getting tail in their 20s are generally going nowhere, certainly no money, but know how to spark sexual attraction better