I have a date soon and I'm super nervous. Should I cancel?

[Anonymous]

I just got out of a relationship 7 months ago I haven’t talked to any guy since then. I met someone 3 weeks ago we ran into each other twice in my neighborhood the first time we he tried to get my number I wasn’t ready to talk to anyone yet. our conversations have been going good. we planned a date for Sunday and I’m very nervous. i have really bad anxiety i don’t know what to Wear and I’m scared he’s going to think I’m weird I feel like when I meet guys eventually they don’t want to take me serious for whatever reasons they have. Should I cancel my date?

[Stoner710]

First off you’re a women of course you’re gonna come off weird. He’s a man of course he’s going to come off weird your on the first date. We’re all awkward. Is natural of course to be nervous you’re interested In the guy obviously otherwise you wouldn’t have said yes.

the question is are you having fun? Is he concerned about how you feel. After the first date ask yourself is thing someone I want to be with for the rest of my life give it a couple more dates and do you want to continue. You’re the one who’s taking notes on this date. How does he treat the waiter? Did he open the door for you did he pay for the date? Can he provide for you? and do you share the same values? I finally not dating for marriage is pointless so this is coming form a guy who wants to me that girl I can be married to for 25-life (prison joke) but relax have fun and let his actions dictate if you want to be with him after.

also don’t sleep with him you have no obligation to sleep with him. This is an opportunity for you to dress your self up look hot and get to know him. He offers security and you offer beauty show him your beauty like your Guinevere and he is your Arthur.

[Azbionica]

I would say, "STOP", For just a minute.

1. What to wear - go get something new, or something new to you. Take a guy friend I'd you can, if not a girl friend, or simply ask the person working there if you're unsure. Pick something a bit dressier than your day-to-day attire, but not overboard, and base it on the date. Dressing up will help boost your confidence, so will the new outfit. 2. Write down a list of interesting questions to ask him a couple of days before the date. Post them on the mirror in the batgroom, and practice asking them so tou know what you will look like and so you will get more confident. 3. Dont make a decision about how this is going to go based upon a couple of meaningless interactions. Stress your need to move slowly and develop a meaningful friendship before you take it to the next level. Explain that becoming friends WITH THE INTENT to take it to the next level is important because it will help you to react with discretion when it comes to emotionally charged situations. (I might react badly to something a best friend might say, but I will consider the impact of my reaction on my friend before I behave badly). That should allow you to have fun and be more of yourself. 4. Base your judgements on how he acts, rather than what he says. 5. Remember, a man wants what he wants, so if he is not acting as though he wants you, and showing that to you regularly, then you are not the "one". A man will let nothing deter him from getting what he wants.

[CubsterShura]

Try learning some ways to cope with your anxiety, maybe some breathing exercises as such you can do when you get anxious. See if it helps.

A huge part of the anxiety is because of you putting this guy in some high mighty place in your mind and thinking of the date as something more special than it really needs to be. Relax. Nothing happens if it doesn't work out. Why are you worried about him seeing you as weird? Be yourself and let the man who loves you and your weird side come to your life!

As for what to wear or how to get ready, just get ready the same way you would dress up for any occasion. How do you get ready to have dinner with your family or friends? What would you wear to a nice picnic? Just wear something nice that you already own, do your makeup and hair in a way that you are used to doing already and you know that it looks good, and that would be just fine.

[Anonymous]

It's completely normal to feel nervous before a date, especially after getting out of a relationship and not having talked to anyone in a while. However, canceling the date may not be the best way to deal with your anxiety.

Here are some tips that may help:

1. Take some deep breaths: Deep breathing can be a great way to calm your nerves and reduce anxiety.

2. Prepare in advance: Plan what you're going to wear and how you're going to get to the date ahead of time, so you're not rushing at the last minute.

3. Be yourself: Don't try to be someone you're not. Be authentic and true to yourself. If he doesn't like you for who you are, he's not the right person for you.

4. Remember that he's probably nervous too: It's likely that your date is feeling some nerves as well. Remember that you're both human and it's okay to be a little bit nervous.

5. Focus on the present moment: Try to stay present in the moment and enjoy the experience of getting to know someone new.

Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to cancel the date is up to you. However, it's important to recognize that canceling the date out of fear or anxiety may prevent you from having a positive experience and meeting someone new. If you're feeling overwhelmed, it may be helpful to talk to a friend or therapist for support and guidance.

[Opinion Owner]

In my opinion, no you shouldn’t cancel. Just experience

[Pinay_ako]

Do not cancel. This is your first step towards healing… all the best. Give this guy a chance. You never know what’s out there until you get out of your shell.

[Luopio27]

I agree.

[red324]

A lot of guys won't reschedule. Keep that in mind.

[Bethany22]

No, it will make things worse if you cancel than if you go. Show up and look reliable, and that will immediately make a better impression on him than many other girls who tend to flake on dates that he's already experienced before. Don't let your wounds wound him as well. By the way, guys don't notice what girls wear, so it's best to wear something your comfortable in, as wearing something fancy and then looking to see his reaction will only make your anxiety worse.

[Avicenna]

I would advise you to go in the date

[Screenwriter]

IF you have such high anxiety, think of whatever you need to do beforehand to decompress: Take a warm bath. Drink a glass of warm tea or wine. Take your time choosing an outfit, getting your nails done beforehand, applying makeup. Slow Down everything.

Do a little mini meditation: Deep breaths. Ohm-ing. Stretches. Then smile at yourself in the mirror, path yourself on the back for being brave and head out the door.

EVERYONE is nervous on a first date. Relaxation techniques of any kind work. Choose a great appetizer you can talk about while you chat. Pick a place to eat that will be fun and also a topic of talking between you. Then, let it flow! Good luck.

[GoodManDave]

Don't cancel.

Just go try to have fun. You're getting to know someone. If it doesn't work, it's not the end of the world.

A little bit of nerves is normal. But if you're fairly well prepared, best you can do is go and try to have fun. Don't shut yourself off to flirting... but think of it as potential for friendship if the dating part doesn't gel. And if some funny stuff happens, and it doesn't gel, then at least you have a funny story.

The trick is that most people (guys, at least) tend to obsess about if the date likes them, instead of asking "Do I even like her?" (so he's probably going to worry about if you like him, too). The trick is to ask AFTER the date: Do I like him? Do I like him in "that" way? Are there any huge red flags first time out? Then maybe "Does he seem to be interested in me?"

[Anonymous]

Activate your parasympathetic nervous system by breathing in a deep breath and then breath out for 10 seconds threw the shape of a straw.

Control your thinking. Keeping asking yourself, "what if is was impossible for this date not to go good." "what if everything worked out and was great" "what would it be like if I was in a reality where it could only go great"

STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT'S WRONG OR CAN GO WRONG. Love yourself enough to not do that.

[blackgaletiger]

Think of it like this. If you cancel does it really help with your anxiety. Probably not. Your stressing or things that are going to be overlooked anyway (clothes). If you werent ready you should have said something before the confirmation instead of leading him on. If you commit then do it with full intent. You really have nothing to lose

[Anonymous]

If you’re nervous because you dont think you’re ready to date again or still not over your ex, then yes you should cancel. If it’s something else entirely, i dont think you should. Its normal to be nervous on a first date especially after a breakup. I heard it helps to calm you down if you say to the date how you’re feeling (anxious/nervous). I get nervous too but getting pretty, doing my makeup, picking a nice outfit helps me a lot. Thats just me, do what you think can help ease the anxiety/nervousness.

[D_Bone_Steak]

Just do the date. If it goes absolutely horribly then you'll think twice about saying yes to a date the next time. If it goes well though, you'll be glad that you overcame your social anxiety to have some fun.

Life is going to happen whether you participate in it or hide from it... But if you just hide from it nothing will change or the change will be a long ass process and you'll probably come out of it being socially awkward.

[OfMiceandMen]

You're looking at this all wrong. It's not an opportunity to meet a new boyfriend it is just an outing. No big deal.

Just go have a good time. Even if things don't click, it will be good for you to get out and socialize and gain some invaluable experience.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

He is gonna think you're weird and it's gonna go terribly. You're gonna be awkward and you're say or do something stupid and he'll end up being disgusted by you and never talk to you ever again.

As long as you go into the date knowing all that, you'll be pleasantly surprised when it goes a lot better than you thought it would 😊

[Nik1hil]

Don't cancel the date, but tell him that.

"Hey, I really feel like I want to cancel the date. But i know it's not the right thing to do."

"So, i want you to know, i won't cancel, but please don't have high expectations and you might have to do a lot of carrying of conversation and direction to how this date goes."

"I am not fully ready to jump in the dating game, so i will need you to hold me confidently and make me feel I am safe in choosing you."

[Fireguy17]

nope, suck it up.
being nervous is normal.
he might be feeling the same way.
just let him know that when you get together, and then you can concentrate on having a nice time.
Lots of times first dates may just be one and done.
It doesn't reflect badly on you, it just means that you just haven't met the right person yet, so don't take it personally.
Other first dates end with you undressing each other with your teeth or anything in between.
Just be yourself and you will be fine.

[DubiousIntentions]

What do you have to lose vs. what do you have to gain? Some may think 7 mos. is not enough time to get over a former relationship. eHarmony says 1 month for every year But I say life is short, so go for it!

[razelove]

I wouldn't cancel, you'll find it easier and easier to turtle up and make excuses to draw your comfort zone smaller and smaller. Find some totem that'll make you more comfortable, pepper spray, a beanie baby to keep in your purse, anything that you can touch, have close to you and think about, whatever it is that will bring you comfort when you start spiraling out. Seems like that would be helpful.

[RealMarek]

If your conversations with him are going well it would be unfortunate to miss the opportunity to get to know him better and see if the two of you are compatible. How about asking for the date to be casual and someplace very safe with other people around, like a coffee shop during mid-day? If you don’t have to dress formally and are in circumstances that maximize physical safety it might help with the anxiety.

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

No. Cancelling is like getting rid of him. Might as well just show up dressed with poop stains or whatever else is making you nevous, and the worst case is if he does what you are thinking of doing right now anyway.

[PraviteliNahuiValite]

Thisbquestion blew up.. All these people suggesting deep breaths, being yourself and focusing on the moment are missing the root cause.

One can do all the breathing exercises in the world, be authentic as hell, but still be nervous to the point of sabotaging anything.

The root cause is that you think that there's something wrong with you.

This happens to people, live their entire lives thinking that there's something wrong with them. Making them perfectionists at times.

Remember that there's nothing wrong with you. Make this your mantra.

[AlexisDiani]

If you weren’t nervous or anxious would you cancel? Probably not? Go with that. Transport yourself 10 years into the future, would the future you cancel?

You can do things like tell him you are a little nervous and ask him if he like what you chose to wear. It will help relieve the anxiety a little.

Be as much in the moment as you can. Be curious about what will happen.

Have a good time you clearly deserve it.

[es_annie]

Of course not! Give the guy a chance! I was in your shoes when I met my husband, I took a whole day trying to figure out what to wear and I even let him know through text that I was nervous but he reassured me. Give yourself some reassurance and you’ll see everything will turn out okay

[TalynMere]

Don't cancel.

It's not unreasonable to be concerned that your anxiety might tank something, but that's just how anxiety works.

Even if it does go bad, having that experience is better than having nothing and staying in your safe zone. That's a bad life path.

The more experience, the more you'll have control over yourself and be able to be less anxious.

Eventually, things will go exactly how you want them.