How many dates should you get in a year if you want to find a relationship? Is it normal to get 1 or 2 a year? How do you find successful dates?

[poneglyphs]

My friend says that I'm not going out with anyone or getting any dates if I really do want to find a relationship. She says that I should be getting at least 4 dates a month but I rarely get that in a whole year. I don't try because at this point in my life I don't feel like anyone would like me. 😕

[RealMarek]

You need to wait until you come to understand why someone would like you. If you can't feel that you have something to offer a woman, dating will not go well. Just know these are exceedingly difficult economic times and you will not be the only person who struggles to make a living. There might well be women out there who understand that now, so it might not be an automatic dealbreaker.

[poneglyphs]

Yeah that's true but if I didn't date when I was broke in college I won't date now as a broke post graduate. 🥺

[RealMarek]

In part, that’s up to you. If you try you might succeed. If you don’t try, then you won’t date. And if you’re fine with that, okay, but if not, doesn’t hurt to try.

[poneglyphs]

You're right but if I don't have anything does it really matter? I have no experience with women, don't drive, or haven't moved out so I don't feel ready to date 😕

[RealMarek]

This is the third world America of the future, today. The new normal. Two can handle expenses better than one.

For the sake of your self-confidence do what you can to gain skills and work toward a driver’s license (even if you don’t own a car). You need a W.

[poneglyphs]

Yeah I do, honestly. I don't want to try dating apps because they suck and all they do is bring my self confidence down but what other choice do I have? 🥺

[RealMarek]

Would it help if you kept in mind that most guys get few matches on dating apps? It’s a numbers game.

[poneglyphs]

I don't like dating apps because most women just ghost me ad I'm barely on them 😕

[RealMarek]

Of course most women will ghost you on an app. That comes with the territory and happens to most guys. Women are way more selective in dating than men. Why does it bother you? Have you invested a ton of time in these women who ghost you? Don’t do that. First you try to match and, if the app allows messaging, write a quick sentence that shows you read her profile and a quick compliment. If she replies, three or four exchanged messages tops then “If you’re up for a date let’s meet for coffee.” They say yes or no or ignore, and you don’t waste time getting your hopes up or emotions invested on someone who ghosts you. What’s the downside? The usefulness of this is you get a chance to meet way more women than you will in real life, especially in this disconnected, entertainment-addled, often overworked, atomized society that our elites have set up with the goal of eliminating actual community as much as possible.

[poneglyphs]

I get fed up because that's all I deal with just ghosting and no one talking to me. So, what's the point in downloading something that I know is a waste of time? I know I'm never going to get date's so I never put much effort into it.

[RealMarek]

Hmm… Well, keep expectations low and you won’t be disappointed, but might be surprised. Do nothing, and nothing will happen.

[poneglyphs]

But I thought that not chasing women is like the best way to get a girlfriend? So I literally don't talk to any girl's besides some friends

[RealMarek]

There is a big difference between not chasing women and withdrawing completely from women. Not chasing women means not being whiny if they reject you, not begging them or trying to change their minds about going out with you, and not getting way too emotionally involved with a woman before finding out if she reciprocates your interest. Using an app to see if you can get a match or maybe a date isn’t chasing women.

[OlderAndWiser]

Why are you 28 years old and don't have a car? That makes your situation virtually impossible. A 28 yar old man shold be self-sufficient and becoming established in a career. A girl is not going to date a guy who perpetually needs someone to take care of him.

[poneglyphs]

Well because I never needed to use car until now. I always had public transportation to use.

[AviatorTom]

Your friend is right. Date as often as you can. There are lots if fish in the sea, but only dropping the hook a few times is not going to catch any.

[poneglyphs]

But how do I do that if I rarely talk to any girl's. I rarely leave the house because I don't have a car, & my friend's don't help me get girl's 😒

[es20490446e]

Just talk to women casually, in real life, and let them propose to you if they are interested.

But lightly flirt with them.

[poneglyphs]

Hmm I don't even know to flirt regularly 😕

[es20490446e]

Nothing complicated: just light headed suggestive jokes, from time to time. Usually questions.

Example:
- Her: I'm hungry.
- You: What sexy thing will be you eating?

[es20490446e]

will you be

[exitseven]

If I found somebody I liked I used to see them every week, sometimes more.

[poneglyphs]

Oh, cool. I see people I lke but never see them more than once 😕

[In_Trance]

Your friend is correct

[poneglyphs]

In what way? That I need more date's

[In_Trance]

Yeah

[poneglyphs]

Cool, I don't really know how to get them in the first place, you know

[Anonymous]

I say as many dates as you can make time for.

[poneglyphs]

Well. The first part would be getting a date