I think I have bad luck with women?

[Anonymous]

I am 24 years old and have never had a girlfriend nor been on a date. I workout everyday and try my best to be as stylish as possible. I consider myself well groomed as well. I have a good jawline and am in good shape. I have worked on myself and would even consider myself an extrovert. I have plenty of friends and have been going out more often to clubs and bars. In the past I have not had trouble getting girls to like me but I never seem to be interested in the kinda girls that are attracted to me. Whenever I find a girl attractive in terms of personality or appearance I can never seem to make it work or they aren’t as interested in me as I am to them. I honestly just feel like ranting at this point rather than receiving advice lol. I had a girl who was very important to me and who I thought I had an actual connection with. The problem is that I guess I wasn’t the kinda of guy she was looking for? As in I wasn't assertive enough according to her. She needed someone with more experience I guess? It just seems like I keep getting attracted to girls like this and I can never be the guy they need. How can I become this guys if someone won’t even give me a chance. I don’t consider myself a push over. My friend tells me that I’m too soft and nice for the kind of girls I am attracted to. I want to change myself and I wish I could be the guy that they want. I went to the club last night and I felt confident and even got a girls instagram. I then asked her to dance and we did for a while. I texted her today at 10pm or the next day. I saw her post 2 hours prior and she still hasn’t replied. I know I seem too anxious about it and I need to chill and I’m probably overthinking it. The thing is that I have been in so many other situations just like this where I thought I had nothing to worry about because I thought she was interested. I am just worried it won’t work out again. I know I should just have fun and it will happen someday but I’m scared it won’t.

[OfMiceandMen]

I understand it is more or rant and not for advice, so take from this what you want. Going to the club should be about spending time with your friends and having a good time. I never went there with the intention of meeting any women. That being said, if you ignore them, they will come.

Quite often, I would get a couple of numbers, if I just went there with intention of having some drinks and dancing with friends. I have a pretty good sense of humor which often helped with girls that decided to dance with us. That was often an in with younger girls your age. They are there for a good time, so why not be their good time and make their evening a lot of fun.

So, the club scene is good for meeting someone, but it is often short term, and is an entirely different animal, unless you are looking for a party-girl.

If you really want to meet someone for a long term relationship, then skip the club scene and go to coffee shops, or better yet help out at a local charity or fundraiser. You tend to find girls with great morals helping other people and that's the type of person you want to meet, that is kind and generous with her time. Women who help other people are not looking for an assertive person like at the club scene, they are looking for a guy who shows his kind, compassionate, genuine side. However, donating your time to a charity should be 95% about the charity and not meeting women, it just happens to be a place to make those connections. And, don't worry if there aren't many young women helping at the charity. The best way to meet younger women is through their mothers. I met two great younger women via their mothers, because the mothers vouched for me while I was donating my time at the hospital. Win their mother's approval and they introduce you to their daughters.

[Anonymous]

I'm reading your post and I have almost the exact experience like you, despite girls ALWAYS complementing how attractive I am. Don't change yourself just to get girls bro, thats foolish, and you'll lose your identity for girls who still won't appreciate you the way you deserve to be appreciated. They will never change themselves for you, i guarantee you that, and it will be hard to keep up the fascade because thats not who u truly are. You will meet the right one who you can be yourself around. Stay true to yourself and wait for them to show up in your life. I found a really nice girl who I don't have to pretend around, and she accepts all of who I am, that's the greatest feeling

[Asker]

It relieves me to know someone else had the same experience. Yea it’s hard and people have told me in the past not change myself but it’s hard. I always feel that no matter how much I work or try to improve it will never be enough. Thank you for reading by the way

[Opinion Owner]

It is hard to resist the urge to change yourself-I've been there. But this is the perfect moment to develop yourself more. Develop self-control and, most of all, self-respect. By you allow your desperation for a relationship to have its way, to the point of changing yourself just to be in one, tells a lot about who you are, and the things you will do if you are in a relationship. And I can tell you, that even if you found a girl, things will not go well in the long run. You can remain a nice guy and be kind and gentle as everyone should be anyways, but where u need to be assertive, is being assertive to not allow mere girls to change you. Respect yourself homeboy

[Asker]

Your absolutely right. I have to learn how to have self respect. That’s exactly it. I have to value myself and stop making myself less. I’ll try and won’t lose hope I’m sure I can do it.

[Opinion Owner]

Until you respect yourself, most girls you go in a relationship with will never respect you. I don't know why, but that's what I've seen and experienced. It's going to be tough, but I have faith you can do it. Again, there is someone out there who will love and respect you. Don't settle for less. Just be yourself, so that thr girls you meet can have a chance to love u for who you really are. Give them that chance. Eventually you will meet one who will. God bless

[Asker]

Thank you man. Your a real one for sure

[Spongebobssocks]

Show the women you have value. If she doesn't respond in a long time when she does leave her on read for 12 hours make her start overthinking.. its evil but it works. Also never ever tell a woman you are a virgin or never been with a girlfriend before unless she is an extremly religious woman. Lie say you have been with women before. I'm just being honest.. reality isn't always pretty.

[JonesT10Apr]

is it white lies?

[Spongebobssocks]

@JonesT10Apr yup!:)

[Spongebobssocks]

White lies are okay. She does it too with her makeup:)

Thank you for MHO!

[Asker]

Update I got extremely fortunate and met the love of my life

[slatyb]

How many women do you greet by name? Outside work?

[Asker]

I have good friends who are girls.

[slatyb]

Great. Then you are capable of having a conversation with a woman without thinking about f***ing her. Maybe some of your friends have single friends?

[IHateBeingaMan]

man, near the panic button age

[Asker]

What do you mean lol?

[IHateBeingaMan]

for a long time, i've heard people and society say, 25 is the societal age number, or the magic age number, when people start to feel they are in the extreme minority, or just out of place, if they are still a virgin by that age

[Asker]

Update I met the love of my life!

[IHateBeingaMan]

how did you meet her?

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Just live life and try to have fun.