Why do I have no luck with women?

I have a tremendous amount of trouble finding attractive single women that are interested in me. And I have not a clue why. I'm not completely hopeless, I manage to find a girl to hookup with that I'm attracted to maybe once a year.

But all I really want is somebody that is at least as attractive as I am to have a relationship with. I'm picky when it comes to looks and personality, but I feel like I should be having better luck.

I don't think anyone would call me unattractive. I'm in very good shape, I'm well educated, well traveled, have a good amount of money considering I'm still in grad school. I'm friendly and make people laugh, and have a ton of hobbies. I go out to bars, take extra classes solely to meet new people, go to concerts and events, etc. I'm not particularly lacking in self confidence because I have high standards for myself and have achieved a lot.

Despite all this, I can't find any attractive single women - especially ones that are into me. It's like they don't exist. The ones that I do like and are friendly back to me are already in relationships. In the rare event that I find somebody that I find attractive who appears to be single, I get no reciprocation at all. For example, I was watching a band play a week ago with a friend, and next to us were three girls by themselves. They were enjoying the band (as was I), and I had been joking with them before, so I leaned over to one of them and said "these guys are good!". Her response: "yeah".

... and then nothing. No follow up, no interest in either friendly conversation or flirting. It's always like this - unless they're already in a relationship or I'm completely not interested in them, it just falls flat.

I can't figure out why this is so hard.


Most Helpful Girl

  • my problem is also finding someone as attractive as me, but usually these guys who are attractive settle for pretty hot girls with shitty personality.

    I've found good guys to date and they're not the hottest. I appreciate the good traits they have like personality, character. so it depends on what you want. there's a low chance anyone meets anyone that will check off on all the squares on their list. other guys dissed the looks of my ex bf, but my ex and current bf treat me like a queen. the most attractive guy i went out with was a bit of a douche and only into me cause of my looks

    honestly not sure why you're having so much issues if you have the looks and many good traits about you, maybe its just timing.

    • I'm not the most attractive guy around by any means, but I'm not ugly. I wish it was timing, but it's been a long time of bad timing :')

    • well i didn't even try and i got a bf. i guess i was working on myself in all areas and a few guys came along. just relax. maybe u'r going about it too anxiously

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • You sound too exclusive. Its like you feel the world should be at your feet because you are rich, have a degree and travel a lot so a pull of the slot machine gonna bring you a beautiful lady interested into u? say much about your personality. You're not emotional.

    • *it doesn't say much about your personality

    • Yeah I think I should pretend to be somebody I'm not and de-emphasize the positive qualities I have. I shouldn't expect to meet like-minded people, that's too picky of me. From now on I'll pretend to be stupid, gamble away all my money, and act like a closed-minded individual that has never left the town they grew up in.

  • Because you're an anon!
    It defines you.

    • I know, I can be pretty anonymous sometimes. Sometimes when I go out I wear a one-piece body suit so nobody knows who I am.

    • hahahaha At least you have a sense of humor. hahaha

  • You probably just haven't found the right person yet. You're still young, you have time and you still have many opportunities!

  • Well maybe you should be a little less shallow and full of yourself, girls like confidence but not over confident where you think your way better than you are. Maybe try online dating if your that picky

  • You are full of yourself. You expect too much from other people and yourself. You are picky. And Im not sure you are that attractive as you think you are.

    But I think the problem is your personality.

    • What gives you that impression precisely? If I hadn't listed any of my good qualities you would have just chalked it up my problems to "a lack of self confidence". I kept it real for the sake of the question.

    • Show All
    • Maybe you're right and I am egotistical. But let's be honest - does being over confident actually repel women? Because from what I see it's the opposite. It seems like confidence and overconfidence are always a plus. In my experience the most comically, psychotically over-confident and narcissistic men do really well in the dating arena.

    • Being over confident really does repel all the smart women. Being over confident is a huge turn off. Only stupid and pathetic women go for those type of guys, "bad boys". And if the person is over confident, he also has to be super attractive. Uts the attractiveness that helos them get the ladies regardless of theur horrible attitude.

What Guys Said 1

  • because all girls are shallow that is why

    • I'd like to believe that that's the reason, but my checklist for fulfilling shallow girl requirements is not so bad haha. If I had to rate how physically attractive I am (based on what others have said to me, what I think, and the attractiveness of my previous girlfriends), I'm a 7 on a 10 scale.

      I'm starting to think women just hook up with the small percentage of men that are 9's and 10's, leaving everybody else out to dry until they are 30 and they settle down with any guy that's reasonably well off so they can start popping out babies.

      Humanity man.