Girls, what does it feel like and how does it affect your ego to know there are tons of men just waiting to buy you dinner to even give them a chance?

[MisterKuulius]

As men we are expected to be the provider and almost never have anything given to us. Gifts, dinner, favors, and compliments... it's all exceptionally rare. Meanwhile women are given these things so frequently it is taken for granted. I think men have to basically bribe women just so they aren't invisible romantically. In the case that a woman buys dinner for a man, she almost always loses her attraction towards the guy.

What does it feel like knowing that you always have a ton of people lined up just waiting for a chance with you? What do you think women give in exchange that is truly worth all the trouble? If you said sex, then don't women enjoy sex too? I never enjoyed working for some boss to make money... certainly not to the level that a woman might enjoy sex with her S. O. Do you ever feel true loneliness when you know that a new guy is just a text, call, or DM away?

[cryscrys1]

In some old African tribes the men had to kill an animal like a lion etc and take it to the future father in law to show him he is capable of providing for his daughter. That was not a bribe but to show that he is a men he can do anything for his wife and family. That is even sacrifice an animal.
Now a steak or shrimp wrap is a bribe lol. Being a gentlemen is like being a feminine for a women it comes biologically. Even if you are poor you calculate things properly.
But I get it now days is messy they are women who act like homeless literally go out to dates to eat 🤦🏻‍♀️make sure when you date pay only if it’s promising and the girl is showing interest on you maybe you already had the talk of “I’m dating for marriage”. Before you start out eating have some basic conversations for a while and go to coffee dates.
It’s all in your hand there is no need to feel this stressed. Skip the food enter the beverages for a while until you know she is the one and start paying or if you want to split depends how bad the level of masculinity your women has

[SueShe]

Would it not be better to stop with this simp mentality to want or have to give presents to women?

If you guys would not just want to fornicate every girl that looks at you, you would not have that kind of problem. It is actually your own fault for tempting women with gifts so that you can have something physical in exchange.

If you expect something in return, then you are doing the entire male gender a disfavor. One does not give something and expect something in return. The same by the way applies to compliments. More than 99% of those compliments given are in reference to the looks and only 1% about achievement. Stop giving compliments and you make the first step towards changing how the situation is perceived.

The problem is that in an overwhelming majority of cases, men want something physical in exchange for presents and compliments even if they don't want to admit it.

[MisterKuulius]

I can't control what other men do when it comes to women. Also, most women expect a man to be a provider and protector so how is that not hypocritical, if women in fact expect something in return? Everything is a transaction to some degree, the question is more about: why are there unfair transactions?

[MisterKuulius]

Men aren't very attracted to female achievements because men are expected to share their achievements with their woman, but the woman rarely shares them with her man. Basically, the guy pays for most expenses. Even if he didn't, he will usually pay more if it comes to divorce. (And if he isn't paying the majority of the bills, he's much more likely to get divorced.) As guys often say: "Her money is her money. But my money is our money." Guys usually share a lot more than women when it comes to achievements that result in financial success. How many women do you know who support a bum husband? Who would even truthfully be WILLING to? And out of those women, how many are actually happy with that arrangement and respect their man?

[blondegrrl]

Tbh it's not all that ego boosting at least for me. Bc men desiring me sexually isn't really a compliment, it just feels like we are a piece of meat and not seen as anything else. But I understand how you feel from the outside looking in, you as a man can have the same treatment if you start choosing girls that aren't just pillow princesses. You need to find people who are actually attracted to you and are more genuine with their intentions/attraction. Some woman aren't built to chase after men, we have been conditioned to be passive and expect their attention. But not all woman are like that, some of us do compliment men, desire them, appreciate them in the same way that men feel about some woman. You just have to change things up, meet different people

[MisterKuulius]

Women are so used to attention that many of them fail to realize, if you want a man to see you as more than a "piece of meat", you have to bring something more than your body to a relationship. A lot of women refuse to do simple things like make a sandwich, meanwhile the guy buys dinner, opens doors, stands next to the cars, opens doors, fixes things, helps her more, etc. Who provides more value?

[MisterKuulius]

Haha, they might not open doors quite as often as my typo suggests.

[blondegrrl]

Your ignoring the part that men we don't even know approach us for sex. They don't even have to know us so. It's not as simple as we don't bring enough to the table, bc I could def make you a sandwich, pay for stuff, fix things provide more value but if they just want you sexually then that's all you are

[Anonymous]

I hardly ever take gifts or dinner but I am hit on and stared at and called out to all day long and it's exhausting to have to find ways to avoid these interactions when I just want to do my work and get on with my life. I don't owe anyone anything. If I like a guy and he likes me then fine. But I have no obligation to give any guy anything just because he's "willing" to buy me dinner, whether I want him to or not. If I want it, it means I'm interested in the guy. Isn't that enough of a reciprocation? Then we'll see whether we get along or want to continue spending time with each other.

[MisterKuulius]

Sure, he can't force you to do anything by giving you anything. But at the end of the day you still want your potential new boyfriend to pay for dinner, right? So regardless how you feel about your own motivations, it's still the same result in the end.

[Puppystarfish23]

I'm currently in this position myself. When I was single no one was interested but now I have a boyfriend it feels like every man wants me because they know they can't have me which is stupid.

It's a massive ego boost at times when they tell you, your attractive and want to take you out. I respect men who are honest and up front with there intentions what I don't like is when men play the nice guy act and suck up and then get mad when you reject them

[Puppystarfish23]

I'll let men buy me drinks and food if they want but that was there choice if they expect something from it they are sadly mistaken and I'll let them know but if they want me they have to try harder then just buying me a drink. You shouldn't give to receive and I think men need to learn that

[MisterKuulius]

"Feels like" every man wants you? Interesting, because this phenomenon happens more often with women when it comes to men. Women know that if other women want a guy, his value must be higher than normal. However, when a woman has men chasing her, it only means she isn't extremely unattractive. How many unattractive friends do you have who still get hit on constantly? Exactly...

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don't value people very much who let them influence by my appearance. I know what they want and they know they don't get it, their often ridiculous behavior of hungry dogs who see a ham isn't really necessary. Personally if I want talk with a person I approach them after short body language check if I'm welcome or not.

[MisterKuulius]

But you still want him to buy dinner, right?

[Opinion Owner]

No...

[Boomchakalaca]

Like a barbie in a barbie world 😂 💅🏼 but it can be annoying esp if u have guy friends who would hit me up year or 2 later to date to c if i broken off with my current boyfriend 😂

[Nikki1989]

You can't buy me with food. Not going to happen.

[MisterKuulius]

Okay. But do you date broke dudes who want to split the bill? And if you do date them, has a relationship with them ever lasted?

[Sweety_Torneeya]

Tons of men that I am not interested and those that are playboys.
I want to date a man That I am interested in and should be serious

[MisterKuulius]

And you won't take him seriously unless he buys dinner, right?

[Sweety_Torneeya]

No, I have some rules and regulations. I hqve to test him for 3 months then will talk on phone for 1 year then I will meet him If he deserves it otherwise i won't waste my time on losers and players.
Time is precious.

[MisterKuulius]

No guy who isn't a complete loser is going to sit through 3 months of your dumb "tests". And I bet you wouldn't sit through 3 months of a guy testing you, either. Talk for an entire year before you meet him, but you say time is precious? Get real.

[Sweety_Torneeya]

I'm not in the mood for dinner. I want a man—a sincere, devoted, and kind man. I require a man that brings me joy. I don't have a financial or other thirst. I'm starving for real love

[Sweety_Torneeya]

Time is precious
If he really wants me he have to owe or earn me otherwise there are 8 billion people on this earth. I bet he can never ever find a person like me

[MisterKuulius]

If you're talking about the kind of guy you are attracted to, then I bet he can. You aren't that special. In fact, he can probably find someone who is much much easier to cooperate with than you.

[Sweety_Torneeya]

The problem is that I am not interested in someone else any more.
But before give my precious to someone else I would like to give it to a very sincere and a great person with high values and standards.
Its easy find a person for a date but its difficult to find a real man for a dinner.

[Sweety_Torneeya]

Precious time*

[Sweety_Torneeya]

He can find thousands of girls but they are not like me they must b so cheap to be available so easily to a player.

[Anonymous]

Where are those men? I don't see.

[MisterKuulius]

Because the average man is invisible to you. Anyway, if you get a dating profile on a dating site/app you will be flooded with more attention than you can handle. That's not the case for most guys.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not like nobody likes me. I am 30 and still not married

[Opinion Owner]

Guys run away from me, no one tries to get to know me and mostly guys are just physically attracted to me.

[MisterKuulius]

Did you ever ask yourself why that is? If I ran away from a woman it's for a reason. Whether that is because I value my freedom so much, or because she has a bad attitude, or because she makes bad choices, or because she is just not that attractive, or because she is annoying. There's always a reason.

[Opinion Owner]

Might be, but mostly i attract players.

[MisterKuulius]

You may be most attracted to the types of guys who are in a situation to be players (handsome, rich, influential, etc.). Otherwise, maybe you are looking in the wrong places. My advice would be to branch out into some men's spaces and try to foster an interest in some hobbies that men like. It should be some more low-key things like RC airplanes, video games, programming, fishing, or the like. Meanwhile, try to make sure you aren't doing something that pushes good men away, but pulls them to you instead. Emphasis on "good men".

[Anonymous]

Im not big on eating

[MisterKuulius]

Good for you.