Would you date a person with autism who was on disability, but acted like the typical person?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

I'm only asking because the guy I'm interested in is dealing with this, and I wasn't sure how to move forward, but thank you for all your responses! 😉

[jennifer_bloom]

I have a rule that in order to date a jobless guy, I need to earn enough money to support five or six jobless guys cause you don’t know what emergency situations might come up that cause you to require money.

[Twalli]

TL;DR We're not undatable. My girlfriend is dating someone with autism. We're part of a social group of people with mental disabilities ranging from trauma to ADD to high-functioning autism. A lot of us have or have had relationships. Several of us are married.
For those technologically minded. Autism is not a coding error, it's just a different operating system. So learn to work with the operating system you have, not the one you wish you had.

[Anonymous]

I did, had a kid with them and our kid ended up being more fucked up then her.

So now I have a 35 son thats so messed up. That he can't even function a normal life.

So best advice, don't have kids if you have issues. Your kids would come out worse then you

Some people are not ment to breed

[Twalli]

The number one reason I got a vasectomy. I turned out pretty good. My life is probably well better than the average life of many people. I just know that while I turned out all right, it wasn't and still isn't easy. I don't want another person to have to go through what I did. I don't know if I could help them as much as my parents helped me. Plus there's no guarantee that they'd be no more messed up mentally than me.

[Spongebobssocks]

@Twalli what happened to you?:) what do you have?

[Twalli]

@Spongebobssocks High functioning Asperger's. I know Asperger's is classified as high functioning Autism, but there are sub-levels in Asperger's too.

[Spongebobssocks]

@Twalli alright I see. Thats cool! Wish you the best:)

[sage2021]

You cannot help who you fall in love with. I know you said dating, but it could be any relationship.

This is hard to answer because there are different levels on the autism spectrum.

I am with a guy that has ADHD. At times I hate that he is that way. It can be very hard to be with certain disabilities.

[CubsterShura]

What is this even supposed to mean?

A lot of autistic people are in relationships and married. In fact, many people find out that they are autistic after they are already married and have children.

[DermalPunch]

Because equity. It would have a harmful psychological impact in her as a woman whereas it wouldn't generally have as much for a man.

Men can be very attached to their hair.

Also, I don't know why women are even in the army.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

I think you commented on the wrong post lol

[DermalPunch]

@WanderingLoveWizard 😭🤣🤣🤣 I sure did!!!

[DermalPunch]

@WanderingLoveWizard to answer the post. Yes, I would.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Lol. Happens

[Agent_Elflord]

I would. I’m autistic too, so it might be a better relationship as there may not be as many communication issues and misunderstandings as relationships with NTs.

[crossdressingrihno]

Personally I wouldn’t.
I don’t know about other people but for me that would be a relationship doomed to fail.

[TheSpaceGnome]

The question makes no sense, also the typical person is dumb, I only date women who are well above the average for mental function.

[Twalli]

If you mean IQ, I'm autistic and by the IQ tests I took, I scored over 100 on all sections (although only 101 on math, so basically average). Autism doesn't make you stupid or deficient in mental function. We think differently. You go point A>B>C, etc. I go A>C>F>H>B. I still get there, just not the way you did.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Twalli

1. I was not specifically referring to IQ.
2. I said the typical person is dumb, austism is not typical.
3. Average IQ is 84 to 114, if we were to base it off IQ, not dumb would be 180+, however computers can have even higher IQs, and computers are not even able to think, so IQ tests are a poor way to measure comprehension.
4. If you were, for argument's sake, diagnosed high functioning autistic, with an IQ of 250, ignoring that IQ is poor measurement, that would be a misdiagnosis in my opinion, as being high functioning is superior to the average, thus it's not a mental disorder/not autism.
5. I'm no where near average, I'm high functioning, and I work out problems very differently than most people, it's not something that can be explained linearly though.

[TheSpaceGnome]

autism*

[TheSpaceGnome]

Anyway, my point is that if she were able to function like the average person, I would not be able to relate to her, I would not get the extra mental stimulation that I need in conversations.

[Twalli]

You still think of autism as a mental disorder, it's not. It's a difference in how we relate to the world. You can't pigeonhole us any more than you can pigeonhole all redheads, brunettes, blondes, brown eyes, green eyes, etc. You've met one redhead, you've met one redhead. The next one you meet may be completely different. Same with autistic people. We're just as varied as everyone else.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Twalli Autism is a disorder, it's hypersensative senses combined with mental savantism, but a lot of biological setups are called autism, when they aren't, doctors overdiagnose a lot.

It's not a wide "spectrum" like people are lead to believe. All diagnostics that are not pseudoscientific bs, are "pigeon holes" (ie they are well defined specific criteria).

Your comparison to coloration variants is absurd. Hair and eye color do not impact cognition.

Everyone is varied, that has nothing to do with my point.

[Twalli]

Autism is a spectrum disorder as of DSM5. If we use DSM-IV, then no it isn't, yet using the modern DSM, autism is a spectrum disorder.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Twalli The DSM is pseudoscientific garbage, always has been.

[Twalli]

It's what we use for diagnoses.

[TheSpaceGnome]

@Twalli I know, thats the problem.

[Mangospacho]

It likely varies from person to person depending on the severity of the autism. Most couples just get used to each other’s quirks anyway so it’s not necessarily a dealbreaker.

[RavVid]

I would most likely not but it is entirely theoretic until you meet someone.

[Rockstarrrrr]

A lot of women would... cuz they're just so kind and nurturing aww 🥺🥺... Men, not so much... I'm one of them

[gag37627]

Will be problematic. Thier personalities are in predictable. You won't have your coolness with them all the times. Also, having a child would be a problem too

[RockyHammock]

Yeah for sure, high functioning autistic people can be great partners

[andreasderjuengere]

The way ''typical'' people act is not much to my liking.

[Juxtapose]

This question feels really awkward because I am autistic 😅

The answers are.. interesting.

[Titanic1912]

Yes. I’m on the autistic spectrum myself. A woman on the autistic spectrum is perfect for me.

[Twalli]

Tread carefully, she needs to be at the right level for you.

[Titanic1912]

My last relationship was on the autistic spectrum and he was slightly smarter than me.

[Titanic1912]

My last relationship was on the autistic spectrum and SHE was slightly smarter than me.

[Twalli]

Not education, emotional. For example, I can't date someone who doesn't like cuddling, and cuddling can ber too much for some people on the spectrum.

[Titanic1912]

Every girl I’ve been with who was on the spectrum were always wanting hugs and cuddle time. Even one girl and I enjoyed being naked together.

[Twalli]

Some autistic people cannot deal with it, sensory overload.

[Titanic1912]

I know, but I never met anyone like that.

[Twalli]

I haven't either, but you hear stories.

[Anonymous]

this question is a painful reminder, its not unusual, not unheard of, for lots of autistic men to go well into their 20s, enter their 30s and older and to have never dated, never had a girlfriend or still a virgin.

[Anonymous]

If they're a typical person, why are they on disability?

[Twalli]

Because we can get it.

[HippieVeganJewslim]

I myself am autistic, so I won’t be a hypocrite and say yes.

[Sweety_Torneeya]

A person with good nature is better than a rude one

[Fuentes]

No I don't have patients for people with autism, I really do not.

[Twalli]

And how many of us have you met? How many have you met and never even know they are autistic? The only people I've met who knew are those I told. That's right, I am autistic, but nobody knows unless I tell them.

[Fuentes]

@Twalli I know a few people who are autistic and I just don't got patients for them as I should. Some are high functioning so you don't know but others it shows very well.

[Twalli]

So the ones who had it that you didn't know about, you didn't have a problem with. This means that you do have patience for them unless you can tell they have it.

[Anonymous]

Why would I date someone who's mentally challenged?

[Simslover92]

It would be hard but I think I would.

[sheenagwapa]

of course as long as he isn't the womanizer type

[Massageman]

My wife might object.

[jamesgoldman]

No and excluding the disability, I am that person

[Deserter]

What are they on disability for?

[Asker]

Not being able to perform jobs properly without fainting, anxiety, etc?

[Deserter]

I don't know, that sounds like a problem

[Twalli]

It's doable. Not easy, not fun, but doable.

[Greenbean27]

Yep, as long as we get along.

[Angelo75]

I think I would.

[Angelo75]

Now you totally threw me off with this update: "I'm only asking because the guy I'm interested in is dealing with this, and I wasn't sure how to move forward, but thank you for all your responses!"

Why would you be trying to figure this out for a guy that you're interested in, and another girl that has disability/autism? I'm not attacking. Just curious as hell now.
Don't feel pressured if you don't want to answer.

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

Yeah

[Asker]

What would make you choose to date them?

[CAPTAIN-OBVIOUS]

If I love or like her

[ChefPapiChulo]

Lol what

[Asker]

Lol what's ur opinion dude

[ChefPapiChulo]

Well if they acted just like everyone else then why would it matter if they were diagnosed with autism. And that’s not how autism works. A lot of information is being left out here.

[Twalli]

Actually, OP isn't far off. A lot of us can't work normally. I'm worried about working 40 hours a week. I've never done it, I'm almost 32.

[dudeinohio]

Sure

[shortster]

Definitely

[In_Trance]

No I wouldn't