LDR Girlfriend won’t treat me right?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been long distance dating this girl for about 6 months now. Everything was going okay up until about 2 weeks ago. She’s been inconsiderate of my feelings, insensitive, mean to me, and just not paying me much mind or giving me much love and affection. She claims to love me and we’re supposed to meet up in about a month but I don’t know how I feel about that now.

I’ve brought up to her that I feel like she’s distant but haven’t brought up that I feel like she’s treating me bad. She’s been pulling me and pushing me away and it’s hurt me so much because I really love this girl and have overlooked a lot of bad stuff. She’s even tried to put me in this weird situationship position. I just don’t want be hurt and be used for my time, money, and energy.

Any advice? How do I bring this up to her? Can I get her to treat me right? Do I leave it all behind.. I’d love to hear your guys take. Thank you so much and take care!

Any message ideas that I can send? Thanks so much.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time in your long distance relationship. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to communicate your feelings and boundaries clearly with your girlfriend.

Here are some tips for bringing up your concerns with your girlfriend:

1. Be honest and direct: Explain how you are feeling and what specific behaviors or actions are causing you distress. It's important to be clear and specific in your communication, and to avoid blaming or attacking your girlfriend.

2. Use "I" statements: Frame your concerns in terms of how you feel, rather than making accusations or assumptions about your girlfriend's intentions or feelings. For example, instead of saying "You're being distant and mean," say "I feel hurt and unsupported when you don't respond to my messages or show me affection."

3. Listen and validate: Be prepared to listen to your girlfriend's perspective and to validate her feelings, even if you don't agree with them. This can help to create a more productive and respectful conversation.

4. Set clear boundaries: If there are certain behaviors or actions that you are not willing to tolerate, be clear about your boundaries and what you need from the relationship in order to feel supported and respected.

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what is best for your well-being and happiness. If your girlfriend is not willing to treat you with the love and respect you deserve, it may be necessary to re-evaluate the relationship and consider moving on.

Here is an example message that you could send to your girlfriend:

"Hey, I wanted to talk to you about how I've been feeling lately. I feel like you've been distant and not as affectionate, and it's been causing me a lot of stress and hurt. I love you and I want this relationship to work, but I need to feel supported and respected in order for that to happen. Can we talk about how we can work together to improve our communication and connection?"

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I sent her a voice memo a few days ago saying how I felt and she just disregarded what i had to say. Then she ended up feeling bad about it but her intentional response says a lot. I don’t like saying how can we improve things because I feel like it leads to things feeling forced.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome and It's understandable that you feel hesitant to ask for specific changes or improvements, as you don't want things to feel forced or insincere. However, it's important to communicate your needs and expectations clearly in any relationship, and to establish clear boundaries and expectations to ensure that both parties are on the same page.

If your girlfriend has disregarded your feelings and shown little interest in improving the relationship, it may be a sign that she is not willing or able to meet your needs or prioritize your well-being.

The decision of whether to stay in the relationship or not is up to you, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness above all else. Trust yourself and your instincts, and know that you deserve to be treated with kindness, respect, and consideration in all interactions.

[Asker]

Thank you. What you said was very informative and very true. I’m going to be sure to keep this in mind moving forward. God bless you and take care!

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome and same to you.

[Avicenna]

If you aren't getting what you want, then don't stick around in some dysfunctional LDR.

[Asker]

I guess you’re right if I’m unhappy. I just don’t want to feel like I’m making the wrong decision.

[VikingWarLord]

You're too young sun, she's doing you a favor.

Leave her azz and focus on your MONEY.

Men get better with age. Don't cash in your chips while you're young and duumb.

Once you get in your 30s and early 40s, you can date all the younger hot chics in their early 20s. ARE YOU LISTENING? Just have fun for now and you can worry about a relationship later sun.

[MackBoy]

I felt the same with my girlfriend too, you know girls are complicated creation because it is very hard to understand about them.

[Asker]

Brooo. Tell me about it

[Asker]

Sometimes she’s pushing me away and others she’s telling me that I’m the best thing that’s ever happened to her. Women are SUPER complicated. Are things with your girlfriend okay? It’s super hard to understand them. Sometimes we’re lovers and sometimes we’re just friends. I dunno man. This is why you can’t submit yourself and allow such a person to control your life. Too wishy washy.

[MackBoy]

You know she is very interested when she wants money or when I talk about sending money to her. she doesn't reply to my messages everyday but she replies to every 2 to 3 days. once when she didn't reply to my message for almost a week. i told her that I will commit suicide if you don't respond to me in time and the reason of not responding. she doesn't like me to commit suicide because she loves me a lot. so now she tries to reply to my messages and if she didn't reply she will tell the reason of not replying. she is much better than before which is a improvement to me. she doesn't reply because she gets headache very often and goes to hospital for medication or she will be busy. so now I am happy at least she is telling me the reason for not replying. she doesn't want to loose me because she loves and want to marry me. so you have figure out a way to get her attention

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Long distance relationship is fools gold. It doesn't make any logical sense.

If you both decide to meet up then you can tell her face to face how you feel, but you can't continue with that so called long distance BS.

A real relationship has two people together not apart.