Hi, i'm 35 years old and I dont find a woman, what can I do lol? ?

[single852]

I live in Switzerland.

[SueShe]

In order to have a girlfriend, you must be proactive and find friends. They will not just pop up in your life without you being involved in the relation. Best is to join a club, take a hobby where you can meet people with similar interests.

If you are good at one specific occupation, then see if you can find a club or place where others meet that share that passion. The rest will just fall automatically into place. Sharing the same interests with a person is always a good start to get to know that person better because you have common grounds.

But you have to work on yourself first. That would include shyness and social anxiety.

You can train your approach, your attitude and expression in front of a mirror for example. Think of what message you want to bring across and rehearse it until you are satisfied. The next step is the most difficult one and that is the one where you have to put in practice what you learned and rehearsed.

But without you wanting and acting upon it, nothing will ever happen. You have to get out of your comfort zone for it to happen. The most important is not to be afraid to fail. If you are rejected, get back onto your feet and try again.

And what I said applies to Switzerland as well as to the US.

[single852]

Thank you very much for your answer! It seems like i please easier to us women for example than swiss ones.

I don't really have friends, only 2-3, something like that, but i never go out to clubs... with them. Each Sunday, i ride a road bike with a friend, but i never see him for something else.

I haven't made the first move with a woman for a long time, cause when i have tried, i had always been rejected even though i had pleased to some girls in the past.

[SueShe]

rejection is part of the game and you cannot fully avoid it. Also, Swiss in general are known to be on the colder side but with close to 30% of foreigners, you should perhaps try with them rather than the Swiss.

Viel Glueck/bonne chance/buona fortuna/allegria

[single852]

Yes, but the problem is that strangers here got the swiss mentality then, when they have been here for a certain time, but i can try though as you say. Yes you're right, swiss women are cold overall.

[TrueConfection]

Go to a coffee shop and start talking to someone.

[single852]

Ok i'll try to do this, but if i talk to a woman there, maybe nothing won't happen then if i don't make the first move no? It's hard to date swiss women here lol.

[TrueConfection]

What move? The move is to strike up a conversation and find out if you like eachother enough to exchange numbers.

[single852]

Yes but here with swiss women, exchange numbers with them is not everything. Then sometimes, they don't answer because they didn't dare not to give their numbers face to face with the guy... So a woman who gives her number, doesn't mean everything lol. Sorry for my English.

[TrueConfection]

There's nothing wrongwith your English. Please don't apologize. It's good to talk first and get a feel for a level of interest, not just to collect numbers.

[single852]

Thank you. Yes, you're right about numbers, mais it's always a shame when some women give their numbers to some guys whereas they're not interested by them in reality.

[Nikki1989]

Get out more and socialize, that is the best way to meet people.

[single852]

Hi. Generally i almost never socialize with women lol because i don't go out in clubs for example... Or because, we don't do the same activities to meet each others and know each others better. That's why sometimes i wonder if i shouldn't make the first move with a woman in the street for example, but i'm not really into it because i know women don't really like this...

[DizzyDesii]

Whats stopping you

[single852]

I don't dare to do the first move again...