Girlfriend's past makes me angry?

[Anonymous]

I'll try to keep this short and to the point. I've been dating this girl for about 6 months. I'm a virgin (23) and she is not (21). We're waiting until marriage for religious reasons. Throughout the six months of us dating she's made some mentions to her past relationships and sometimes mentioned some of the sexual aspects of it. She recently brought up something that had she brought up in the beginning of our talking.. that she wanted to have a baby with her ex and that she was struggling to get pregnant with him. She brought it up again yesterday and it makes me so angry. I hate the idea of another guy sleeping with her especially doing "that".

It makes me so unhappy. Should I bring this up to her? I would love some advice. I feel like things would have been so much different had I had some sexual experience. I feel like we'd be on more of an even playing field. I would love some advice.

Updates

+1 y

It makes me feel like I lost to him.. I truly feel like I've found an amazing life partner and ofc there's something like this.. it makes you question why even exist.

[ShadezMcgee]

She will keep saying it if you don't speak up and let her know how her speaking of this is affecting you. You are doing yourself a disservice by tolerating it and taking it and it is just building resentment.

Now. Are YOU the one that wants to wait for sex until marriage or is that her expectation and desire?

[Asker]

What you're saying is very true. I am doing myself a disservice and I will be telling her later today after she finishes up what she's doing. You're right it will build up resentment. I don't want to have a hardened heart towards her. We're both supposed to be waiting and we've pretty much established that. Right now we aren't seeing each other in person but we will be seeing each other really soon.. I hope. The way that I've been feeling about her is making me feel funny.

[ShadezMcgee]

... you never met this woman before in real life?

[Asker]

We've been long distance dating. We started off as just friends chatting and we decided to be together and it's just be really good aside from me being bothered about her past. I was planning on moving to be closer to her.

[ShadezMcgee]

... how did you meet her exactly?

[Asker]

We had started speaking through a forum (social media ig) where we speak on faith based topics. I began speaking to her when she was coming out of an abusive relationship with the guy mentioned above. What really bothers me isn't the fact that she's had experience before, it's the kind of person that she was doing this thing with. He didn't treat her very good and now it's weird because I'd try my best to treat her really good and go all out her for her and be willing to change my whole life for her.. just to eventually get the same thing that he got while treating her horrible.. it doesn't feel good.

[ShadezMcgee]

I will be honest with you, don't invest wholly into this woman until you have met her in person and gone on a few dates. Not talk online, I mean legitimate dates.

I would be very cautious about her mindset and what she truly wants.

[Asker]

thank you for sharing. I think ill be more carefree and more relaxed about things.

[Redstang88]

By your age you have to assume most people have some sexual past. I get not wanting to hear about it and that’s something you could mention but the jealousy is your issue not hers

[Asker]

What you're saying is very true. jealousy is my problem, not hers. but I think that mentioning it to her will help because that way she'll know not to mention it again and.. maybe she can give me some reassuring words? I don't know.. I don't know.. I don't know.. It's just a really sad situation

[Selene1600000]

Yes, you should bring it up but focus on how it makes you feel, not on judging her past.
Your feelings come from insecurity and comparison, which is normal, but her past doesn’t diminish what you have now.
If this keeps bothering you, you need to ask yourself whether you can truly accept her history, because a healthy relationship requires that.

[Anonymous]

Just about anyone you ever date as an adult is going to have a sexual past. If you can’t handle that, you shouldn’t be in the dating game. Now I would say it’s reasonable to ask her not to discuss her ex with you. That part of her past is not relevant to your relationship anyway. However, you can’t be angry and insecure just because she had sex before you. You’ll just poison your relationship with that kind of attitude.

[slatyb]

Advice? It's past. We all have one. Get the fuck over it before you ruin the relationship.

[LazerBean]

Maybe you should have considered that sooner. Instead of wishing that you were a hoe like her, think ahead a bit and raise your standards.

[Mangospacho]

Probably time to move on from her. She sounds like she’s not over her ex if she’s bringing up the gory details from her past.

[Agape93]

Get over it