I make him feel bad for wanting a relationship?

[Anonymous]

A guy that I have been seeing originally stated that he wanted me to be his girlfriend, but that he’s so recently out of his last relationship that he’s not ready to date. We’ve gone out on a couple amazing dates and the communication is fun but every time we get close or have talks about where we stand, he says he feels like crap because emotionally he can’t give me a relationship and that I deserve better.

I understand where he is coming from, and I’m trying to reassure him, I just wonder if there’s anything else I can do to tell him that I accept him for where he’s at emotionally?

[Anonymous]

So this isn’t exactly an answer to your question, but I’m just reading the room and honestly I don’t think pursuing him is a good idea. You can’t build a relationship on a broken foundation, and this guy is admittedly still struggling with the breakup to where it effects how he navigates dating you, and that’s not healthy.
I think loneliness and wanting to move on already pushes him to get back out there and date, but what you don’t want is to travel down this road where you’re constantly reassuring him, walking on eggshells and essentially paying for how his ex hurt him.
He should take time as a single person to heal, so that when he dates he can really put his best foot forward and she’s not even a thought on his mind. Starting things off like this with so much uncertainty and baggage on his end just seems like a recipe for disaster. So while I get that you’re seeking advice on how to ease his mind, I believe it’s bigger than him just being nervous to date or get hurt again. If you really like the guy then no one can stop you from pursuing at this point, I just don’t think it’s a good idea, at least not yet. He isn’t ready.

[Anonymous]

Possibly, but at least you both know where you are coming from.