When is the right time to tell him how I feel?

[Anonymous]

I started seeing a guy 9 weeks ago. We hang out, talk and other stuff but we both haven’t expressed any feelings. Last week I wanted to tell him that I like him but before I could tell him he let me know he had a stressful week due to work problems and was accused of some things which have now been cleared up. It really effected his sleep. In this situation is it best to be patient for a few more weeks to let him know? Also on Saturday I texted him to see how he was feeling, he didn’t reply so in the evening I texted him that I felt bad for his Situation and as I have slowly gotten to know him over the past weeks I can see that he is a good person who works hard and respects people. I dig that and really enjoy his company. But if he needs some space for a while to let me know. He replied and said, sorry for not replying he had a really busy day but he is ok. Do I need to give him the benefit of the doubt or if he liked me back he would reply saying something positive back to me?

[Summeroflove]

As soon as you can it’s best to be open and honest

[Asker]

@summeroflove is it still ok to let him know even though he has been stressed? I’m dying to let him know via text but I think it’s better to wait until I see him which will be most likely a few days.

[Summeroflove]

Asker I think it’s up to you. It’s okay if you feel it’s best to wait a few days and I even think it’s more special to his face

[Summeroflove]

But if you’re too scared you’ll talk yourself out of it. Text him and get it over with

[Asker]

I’m not too scared to tell him in person, just impatient

[Summeroflove]

You’re too excited to tell him. Okay well the choice is yours

[Summeroflove]

If you really wanna make it special tell him face to face

[Asker]

@summeroflove I’m saying I’m not too scared to tell him in person.. just feeling a little impatient

[Summeroflove]

I know. I just mean are you excited to tell him?

[Summeroflove]

The choice is yours. Honestly face to face is best. But if you’re ready to tell him now. Shoot him a text

[Summeroflove]

I mean if it’s late at night best not to wake him lol

[Asker]

I think I’ll definitely wait to let him know in person

[Asker]

I’m in Australia lol.. it’s day time.. but yeah in person is the way to go

[Summeroflove]

Okay great I wish you the best

[Summeroflove]

Ohhhh LOL it’s 10:18 here

[SoftM]

I undetstand your thinking but girls I was close to simply got how I felt and showed their feelings along the way, real time. I prefer it instant, as it happens.

[Asker]

@softm what do you mean instant as it happens? As in no need to tell him how I feel, just let the feeling’s develop naturally over time?

[SoftM]

Well. I like how patient the whole dating thing in USA is. How people make room for each other along the way (which takes time), and then surprise with closeness.

You can also just show feelings from the outset. It doesn't change the way a relationship develops, just removes doubt and frustration. Plus it's fun.

One thing to get used to is how to say no, how to refuse something without losing touch. But that needs to be learned anyhow, otherwise you won't be able to express yourself.
Hoping things work out is really nice. Steering them is better. And I don't mean steering by connived manipulation, but by saying and showing how you really feel, without crossing any boundaries of good behaviour and even good manners.

[Asker]

We definitely make room for each other and have taken the time. It’s very important to show and say how you feel. I think I need to be a little more patient.

[SoftM]

It could be. That is how you do it over there, but then the phone rings, a job gets offered, and of the two, one moves away.
It seems amazing when it works out. I show my feelings, even begrudgingly (dince I was badly hurt in intimacy as a child) all along the way. Maybe it's tougher that way, maybe meaker, I couldn't tell you.
Good luck.