What can I do if I can’t settle in a steady relationship?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend 4 years. I love him and we get along so great. Before him I was in an off again on again relationship for years and while it was his choice to be unstable I enjoyed having freedom and being single every couple of months. I’d date and meet new people, have loads of friends and go out all the while I’d have someone there that I could go back to.

While I’m getting older and that life is no good for me anymore but I long for it back. Just being free. I also love having my boyfriend now so I don’t feel alone but I miss my old single adventures. The excitement and meeting new people. What can I do? I don’t want to leave my boyfriend he’s a great fit but I just find same thing constantly is boring

[Anonymous]

Feeling conflicted between wanting the freedom of being single and enjoying the stability of a committed relationship is not uncommon. It's important to acknowledge and explore these feelings to find a balance that works for you. Here are a few suggestions to consider:

Communicate with your partner: Talk openly and honestly with your boyfriend about your feelings and desires. It's crucial to maintain open lines of communication to ensure both of your needs and expectations are understood.

Find ways to introduce variety: Even within a committed relationship, it's possible to inject excitement and novelty. Explore new activities together, plan spontaneous outings or trips, or try new hobbies as a couple. This can help break the monotony and bring back some of the excitement you miss from your single days.

Maintain individuality: It's important to have a sense of independence and pursue personal interests outside of the relationship. Encourage each other to have separate hobbies, social circles, and personal growth. This can provide a sense of freedom and fulfillment while still being in a committed relationship.

Discuss an open relationship: If both you and your partner are open to it, you may consider discussing the possibility of having an open relationship. However, this requires strong communication, trust, and mutual agreement to establish boundaries and ensure the emotional well-being of both partners.

Reflect on your priorities: Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you in a relationship. Assess whether the excitement of being single outweighs the benefits of a stable and loving partnership. Consider the long-term compatibility and support that your current relationship provides, as well as the potential personal growth and shared experiences you can have together.

Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all solution, and what works for one person may not work for another. It's essential to be honest with yourself and your partner about your desires and to actively work on finding a balance that fulfills your needs while nurturing your relationship.

[Anonymous]

you are too old not to be settling down. Who's gonna take care of you when you're 60 and not hot anymore. Or if you develop a health concern and can't work. You need a life time partner right now and it sounds like your about to give one up. At your age that'd be so crazy.

[Asker]

Why do I need to settle down? I have 2 teenagers, not like I haven’t had the kids yet

[BarryLiverstone]

Talk to him and tell him you feel bored. What can you do together to add spice? Would he be open to you going out on your own a few times a week?

[noohair]

You sound very immature. Sorry.

[Asker]

Says the man insulting people on the internet 😂😂😂

[noohair]

It is only an observation. And you sound like a young girl holding on to the past.
I have learned that I can not grow while living in the past.

[Asker]

This would have been a better answer since I didn’t ask for your opinion on me but for advice. Maybe, could also potentially be a mid life crisis

[noohair]

If I were in a midlife crisis, that means I would live to 135. You profile says 36-45. So, I don't expect a person in that category to be longing for items in their past.

[Christoff92]

Be creative

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆