Should I date my guy friend?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been great friends for a little over five years now. Every time we text it goes on for hours with lots of laughter and we can talk about anything. We even say “good morning” and “good night” to each other. He’s already mentioned liking me, wanting cuddles in the future, complementing me, and hopefully us being in a relationship. The only problem is my family doesn’t approve of him as a potential dating partner and they also judge his looks (he’s shorter than me, I’m out of his league, etc). There’s also the issue of clean freak (me) being with a somewhat messy person (him). But I do see potential in him. We’re comfortable around each other and we just click. What can I do to make it work? Should we just stay friends?

[slatyb]

Two important questions:
1. Does he treat you well?
2. Is he taking care of himself physically and financially? Does he have a plan for his life? Does he have a career or is training for one? Is he healthy? How old is he? Is he appropriately mature for his age?

Why does your family object? Religious or ethnic differences?

[Asker]

1. Yes - much better than previous guys I've dated. (One of the few people who can make me smile.)
2. So far, yes. He has a job that pays him decent money, he tries to keep healthy and fit (goes to the gym almost every day), goes to college for engineering, and he seems fine (at least to me) for his age. We are both 19.

Family doesn't really approve because of his looks (they think I can do better) and he also isn't exactly clean to live with. My family always had a habit for keeping our surroundings clean. As for my friend... not so much. Family is okay with us being friends but not lovers. Still feel like there's a slight possibility we could make something work.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Your relationship will. change when you do, and it might not be in a good way.
Expectations of eachother will be much higher, and the care free relationship you have now will never exist again.

I wouldn't recomend turning a friendship into a relationship unless it happens naturally, but follow your heart.

[Jazzy54]

Besides his looks, why doesn’t your family approve of him? Do they even know him?

[Asker]

They told me he’s a “good guy as a best friend, but don’t date”. Already had my friend meet my parents twice. They didn’t like how messy he was and mentioned wanting him to “grow up”. I didn’t argue though - they make good points. Just wanted to see if we would be compatible in dating or not.

[Jazzy54]

Hmm okay. They maybe seeing something that you don’t. In what ways does he need to “grow up?” Does he have a job? Does he goals in life?

[Asker]

So far in the time I've gotten to know him he has pretty solid life goals (currently goes to college for his dream career), and he works in his family business making decent money. My parents told me he needed to "grow up" because of his youthful/childish mindset (has a lot to learn about life) and he's not the cleanest to live with. That was the biggest issue for them because my family likes to keep everything clean and precise. His family does not.

[Avicenna]

The neat freak vs slob part alone will make it not work. You should pass.

[Ben487]

you should just stay friends. You will never respect this man the way you have to for a marriage to work if you actually feel out of his league.

[Twalli]

Maybe be a lot more affectionate and see him as a possible partner, but not official yet. Also, height differences are bullshit reasons for not dating.

[Anonymous]

Yes you should date him, the writing is on the wall.

[shades777]

no, if it took you this long to see him as fuckable then its a definite no.


And if he hasn't approached you by now he's not interested

[Anonymous]

I think you just considering him because you don't have any other options.

[mommymommymommy]

You were never friends