When you’re talking to people on the dating apps, how long do you usually take to reply in the early stages? And am I being unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

28F I’ve been on and off the apps for years. Overtime I’ve become more and more disinterested to the point where i reply to msgs every other day or 2-3 times a week/swipe through likes during that time too. Sometimes I don’t do anything for a week. I’ve noticed with the guys I actually find attractive, some are responsive but MOSTLY they take longer to reply I’m not sure if they’re mirroring me. From that point I can sense how it’s going to end (ghosting/fizzling out) & I stop msging all together right away early on. Playing games I guess

Yes, you’re being unreasonable

No, you’re not being unreasonable

[Ευδεμονια]

In general if I’m talking on dating apps I answer daily, if I’m interested, or I just tell sorry and interrupt if I’m not interested, I don’t like ghosting. In general, I try to adjust my answer time according to the answer time of the other person so I don’t want to seem a thirsty or obsessive guy.


If you use the app once or twice a week, it’s ok for the guy to answer once or twice a week. If he answers slower than that, it’s evident he has no interest and it’s reasonable for you to think he’s not serious.
On the other hand, you don’t have to pretend he has to answer rapidly while you can answer him once in a while.

[zeitgeist057]

Yes, I would say unreasonable, but also typical. You're expecting guys to be more responsive than you, when you get on the app a couple times a week or sometimes "don't do anything for a week". I mean, reasonable enough you want to log in and have loads of messages and not respond to them or respond whenever you feel like, but are irritated when they do the same thing back to you.

Online dating is garbage, at least for men. I 95% gave up on it years ago, but will still DL an app like Tinder and swipe just to pass the time once a year or so if I'm bored enough. Whenever I do, it just confirms my previous verdict that it's a wasteland.

[itsalyssaagain]

When I was on dating apps, if I don’t get at least one reply a day then I’m not going to waste any more time. And guess what - things only ever escalated with guys that were responsive and responded as soon as they could. We’d have an entire conversation and then speak on the phone in the first week of dating max. Im not here to waste my time and stare at my phone every day waiting for a stranger to reply to me in hopes of finding love.


When you’re on a dating app you need to work out it this person is compatible with you or not. You can’t do that if you take 5-10 business working days for one reply. It’s a waste of time.

[sheenagwapa]

i have never been on dating appe but if i do at least within 24 hrs i should be able to reply

[AviatorTom]

After my divorce, when I was on dating sites, I usually checked them 3 or 4 times a week. You're doing the same, which us perfectly reasonable.

[MrWolf]

I rarely use it this days because I can't be bothered because even tough we are at the doorstep of most easy accessed and modern century we can't bother to reply to a message because we don't have time that's the stupidest excuse humanity has gone for in a long time.

Sure online dating is stupid yet it's the new way things go because to approach someone is considered either stalking or creeping how much have we fallen indeed.

So sure I'd wait with pleasure when asking some girl out and she takes a whole day to reply while I have to redo my plans 20 times because she is busy. But sure writing and calling in the middle of the night cuz ya fell lonely 🥺 grinds my gears a lot because thanks for the lack of sleep.

[Juxtapose]

You really hit the nail on the head man.

[MrWolf]

Thanks it's the truth and it's getting worse but who cares anyway

[stepyo99]

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I reply when I'm able to so if I'm busy at work or with friends/family or whatever, it might be a little while before I reply, but if I'm not busy I'll reply right away. But I always reply within 24 hours. If a girl takes longer than that to reply to me, then like @blackjeep said, I see that as her being uninterested and move on.

[itsalyssaagain]

Totally agreed.

[BlackJeep]

Guys gauge interest on how long it takes for a girl to reply. If we are interested but she takes 2 days to reply we interpret that as low interest and won't reply right away and you are an option.

[Sexiestjohnson]

These days dating apps are just for teasing, sarcasm and throwing tantrums. It is a lawless land. You can do whatever you want. No one there truly feels hurt. But be kind as much as you can.

[Anonymous]

The guys will take longer to answer if you keep taking longer to answer. I will answer within an hour or so but at least the same day when first talking to somebody but I will never let a week go by because then I’ll just assume they’re not interested.

[John_Doesnt]

Girls get messaged thousands of times on those dating apps while guys only get 1 or 2 messages from gold diggers. I've decided those apps are a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

hey if you're disinterested in responding and going on dating apps, maybe don't go on them so you don't lead other's on.

[Anonymous]

I would never drag myself down to dating app level.

[Wraith_Cemetery]

Me neither.

[slatyb]

I don't chat. I express interest, and off it's returned then I ask to meet them.

[alice55]

I didn't go since age but when i was 18 and went on it I took under a 1 to respond

[Anonymous]

I'll be honest I have taken as long as 30 minutes to 3 hrs. before carefully considering how each word i typed was being dissected (since I know how judgmental women are). But otherwise I'm pretty prompt in my responses.

[Anonymous]

So what’s the point in being on the app? Since you’re disinterested wouldn’t you just wait too meet someone the natural way?

[RingOfFire]

If you have to play games like that the relationship isn't real.

[Alex8736]

i wouldn't even waste my time going on dating apps if i wasn't interested

[sheikalana]

I answer when I'm available and free.