Is it okay if I leave everyone on seen and go to cinema on my own?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I moved to a new place and still, the guys who message me have other interests other than friendship, I though, just want to have a friend, I don’t want to date them.

I feel like not answering their messages.

One of them just told me there’s a new movie to see, I wonder if It’s okay not to answer anyone anymore and just go to cinema on my own.

I just want friendship, I don’t want to date any of them… What to do?

I want to have fun, but seems like it means I should date people, that’s what they expect, I have a few guys messaging me what we can do.

But Am I weird for just wanting to go out and watch a movie alone?

I miss my girl friends , you can have the best fun together with them and they don’t expect anything romantic in return.

Updates

+1 y

I want to go out and have fun but if I go out with any of these guys, they’ll think it’s a date.

Updates

+1 y

For example, there was a guy asking me out on dates, I told him I am not ready for dating, he said “I’ll be your friend”, I said “okay”, he now still messages me why I never go to any of the dinners he invited. Now he thinks he can lure me in with friendship…

[molonski2]

NO , not weird at all , I haven't done it in a while , but I used to all the time and I just ended up loving going on my own , basically , everyone else was working anyhow when I wanted to go , select my movie , sit where I want , have my own opinion , and honestly it was just fantastic.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I go to the movies alone all the time. hav at it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have gone alone in the past, but this time I al going alone because I feel overwhelmed. It’s annoying when you obviously show your disinterest in romantic relationship and some people don’t get the message.

I want a friend, I need to get one, I don’t want a friend who hopes to be something more.

[BoopBoopBeep]

it's obnoxious to be sure. People hear what they want to hear though. And you're attractive so they want to hear it MORE. It wears you down to keep saying no over and over again or having to cut ties and go somewhere else looking for that interaction. That's why I like my races. When someone stops taking no for an answer, there's 2k people there next weekend :)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

It’s indeed very unpleasant and uncomfortable, if they offer me friendship, then at least don’t expect me to be as invested as I’d be with a boyfriend. First, he told me he wanted to be a friend at least and now he gets upset that I am not going on dinners with him. I said I didn’t want to date, how is it going to change if we call it a date? It makes me feel so overwhelmed I feel like not checking any of my messages sometimes.

“ That's why I like my races. When someone stops taking no for an answer, there's 2k people there next weekend ” - I can’t fully understand the meaning of this, could you say with different words? 😊

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

*How is it going to change if we call it a “friendship” instead?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I do charity races every weekend. 10k through marathons. subsequently, most of the people I interact with are in that community. many of them recognize me because at most of the races, i'm the only person racing in body armor, so i stand out. they'll remember me more than i'll remember them. several times someone from the races has tried to pursue me romantically but i'm just not interested at this time because of all the other moving parts in my life right now. we can get coffee or whatever, but if, like in your situation, they don't take no for an answer, all i have to do is wait for next weekend's race, where there will be a few hundred or a few thousand more people there.

Is that better? I can try again.

[BoopBoopBeep]

@lafemmefatale_1
*How is it going to change if we call it a “friendship” instead?

If they actually accept it as that, then it's just basic human interaction without expectations or disappointment. The problem is when they say "sure it's friendship" but they still feel otherwise inside

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks, now I understand.

I was thinking you meant races like “White, Black, Asian” and got a bit lost there haha

I understand your situation, it can be overwhelming.

And charity race sounds pretty noble, it’s great you are doing that.

As for my situation, many guys take no as an answer and they seem to get the message, some are extremely stubborn and I don’t feel that guilty for no longer messaging them back.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Oh ahaha i didn't even think about races like that since I'm so used to MY usage, but yeah, haha in retrospect I can see how that would be confusing.

If they get mad you cut them off, it's their own fault for not listening :)

[Alli39]

I mean feel free to go alone, or ask one of your male friends to go explicitly as friends if your female friends aren't available. If you're not looking for anything romantic with these guys you should make that clear.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you have to be blunt and straight up tell him you are not interested in dating him

[msc545]

Of course you can go to a film by yourself. I used to do that all the time before it became unsafe because of COVID. Please don't leave people on seen as that is very rude.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I wonder if you think that was rude that I didn’t reply on your last message, I hope you didn’t think I was being rude. I just inferred that you wanted to end a conversation. That’s why I didn’t reply. Just want to make sure you know.

[msc545]

No worries. I understand.

[RavVid]

Your last update said what I would say. There is not much point in talking to these guys.

I know a lot of girls feel funny about going to a cinema on their own but it isn't an issue - just do it.

[Anonymous]

I’m going to watch a movie alone this weekend, if that makes me weird then 🤷🏽‍♀️ .

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Go out to cinema and watch a movie alone there 🤣 I wish you could join me, I am so tired of these guys wanting to go out with me thinking it will lead something romantic.

[madhatters4]

sounds fine to me. i rather like going to movies on my own sometimes. nice to be able to pick the movie you want, sit where you want, no distractions, etc

[anonguy2000]

I have had several movie fri3nds before just because its nice going with someone else. But just stay clear up front its only a movie so they dont go expecting more. Nothing wrong with going on your own too

[Luopio27]

I watch 95% of the movies on my own. Theaters are not social places.

[Kinkyhubby]

Go alone, or make it perfectly clear your going as friends. Buy your own ticket and food and drink. Don't give him any reason to think otherwise. Meet him there.

[ProbablyClueless]

Yeah, you can do that just fine. It's okay to have "you" time.

[exitseven]

I go to the movies by myself. Buy a big popcorn and enjoy the show.

[AngryCarl2]

It's a shame you don't have any girlfriends. All the guys sound like horndogs.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t like girls. Zero attraction. Zero. There’s no way I am touching a girl sexually. It’s repulsive for me.

[AngryCarl2]

haha I wasn't implying anything sexual. I meant girls you could hang out with.

[In_Trance]

As long as you're willing to accept that everyone is going to do the same thing to you someday

[Anonymous]

Why leave your friends on seen? That's rude.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

They are not friends. They like me.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t like them.

[slatyb]

Of course it's ok. Why wouldn't it be?

[saffoler]

Yes, I often go alone

[DerekC321]

I think it's fine. I do that too.

[collie22]

We could skate this afternoon

[Sparkie460]

Sure you can. Go have fun and enjoy the movie

[Christoff92]

Sure. You need a break. Go for it 😀

[EaterPeter]

Yes.

[BigDog89]

Yes it is