My ex told me don’t contact him anymore and we are done all because I was was expressing my feelings it got quiet heated I told him he’s all about sexual things and he’s just a user and he’s really annoyed me his reply was it’s always my fault isn’t it don’t message me anymore ‘
the thing is he’s always assuming things I am financially stable he’s always asking were my money is coming from if I work little hours and what do I be doing with my days. When we are together he’s always telling me he misses me and stuff but when we are not together there’s hardly any Contact except a 10 minute phone call a day if that? Don’t know if he is trying to manipulate me for me to contact him more but ever since he said don’t message no more I haven’t messaged. Can someone help me out?
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Well, what is there to message him about? If you are breaking up then he’s adding that finality to it, and you should be happy he’s doing so since you clearly were hoping for some form of communication after the breakup. Tbh you sound indecisive in your decision which isn’t his problem. Even with that though, I don’t understand why you’re acting so torn when you have ample reason to just be done. He isn’t going to change, try harder, or do better, not for you at least, so just walk away now rather than be sad that you’ve lost your excuse to keep your foot in the door rather than close it entirely.
Because he tells me he loves me and then doesn’t show it with his actions but when we are together it’s totally different 🥲 just don’t know what to do
If this is the result of expressing yourself then you’re better off without him. What you don’t want in a relationship is to suffer in silence because you fear the repercussions of having a voice. How you feel is valid, it’s fair, and the right man would not only receive your concerns, but actively do what he can to make you feel better. Your ex is a narcissist, he will always treat your issues like a burden and victimize himself rather than take accountability. If you’ve ever been in a relationship or even dated before, then you already know that this part will be hard no matter what. Doesn’t mean it’s not the right choice though, and when you’re doubtful of that then try to keep in mind why you had issues in the first place. You aren’t asking for too much just by wanting to be shown love, so stop punishing yourself for desiring simple things a woman deserves in a relationship. What you’re doing right now Is not only gaslighting yourself into feeling wrong, but being upset that you no longer have an excuse to go running back after you’ve made yourself feel shitty enough. He is not fit as a boyfriend, he has failed you, it’s not your fault.
This you’re so right !!! When I try to explain to him how I feel he always says to me ‘ it’s always me fault ‘ and then I feel like oh am I always blaming him? Do you think he’s trying to manipulate me? I appreciate you being honest and taking your time out to answer 😄
No worries! My goal here is to empower you and encourage you to practice doing that for yourself every day. When you’re in love with someone, it’s almost easier to invalidate yourself, and lessen the problems in your mind so that you can stop “suffering” without him and go back. But mindset is everything, and what you need to do instead is focus on the reasons not to go back. Nobody is perfect, and I’m sure there were areas in the relationship that maybe you could’ve improved on, but in general, do you consider yourself a good girlfriend? Do you put in the effort, compromise your boundaries when it’s fair and generally try your best? If the answer is yes, then why is it too much for him to reciprocate? It’s not hard at all to check in more regularly, give you some attention or to be a good boyfriend in general, but he has to wanna be that guy, and right now his actions show that he is incapable of doing so. He doesn’t want to. With that in mind, start realizing that this is his loss, not yours. He should value your presence in his life as much as you value his in yours, otherwise it is not worth it. I think it’s hard to envision a man being a good boyfriend if you’ve never experienced it before, but you just have to have faith that the right man is out there. You aren’t asking for too much, you are valid. I think you should start speaking life into your value as a woman, rather than putting him on a pedestal that he probably doesn’t even deserve to be on. Letting go is so much easier when you know your worth.
Awww you’re the best 💗 definitely empowering me! I do try I’m not the best I will be the first to admit! But only because he doesn’t he always says why do you never cook for me erm because why am I going to cook for someone who can’t treat me right? Or even buy me flowers when I told him I love flowers you would want to buy someone them. You have really empowered me appreciate you x
Yep! There’s no incentive to cater to him, so why should you? I think it’s extremely problematic when you can’t communicate with your partner at the risk of them victimizing themselves as opposed to correcting that behavior if it’s fair. If you were able to extend the olive branch, or if he were to try coming back (which he probably will), keep his actions in mind, because he is not going to change. Hoping that he will only wastes precious time you can never get back, and adds more disappointment and regret for giving him another chance. I also fear you’d silence yourself entirely out of fear of losing him. It’s not a loss though! Try keeping that in mind. Also, I’m glad you feel empowered! If you have any loved ones or close friends around, lean onto them for support because this is going to be very hard. Stay strong, stay busy, and remember your worth! Breakups are shitty, you will have many many weak moments, but you are stronger than that. You’ve got this☺️🩵
You’re too kind! I don’t really have anyone around me just myself I think that’s what makes it harder.. but I appreciate your words of wisdom! God bless you eternally xxx
Gosh I’m sorry, I remember being out of state for college, alone and going through the worst breakup ever, it sucks! But you’ve got this, and bless you too! Wishing you luck during this time❤️
I don't quite understand what you're doing in fucking around wasting time with an ex.
Because it’s hard when you love someone
An ex means just that, an ex... Time to forget and move on, life is far too short as it is.
Stop interacting with your ex