Studies show Men typically date down. What is lowest number girl you've publicly dated. What is the highest number guy you've publicly dated?

[Vegasrunner]

On a scale of 1-10?

[Flatmanlewis]

It’s hard to put a number rating on women but as a young man I don’t think I dated very well. I was more concerned with just getting a date! As I got older, built life experience, confidence, income, and developed more personality I started dating “higher”. Not because I was some arrogant guy who would only pick a woman based on some rating of her - but because that was what I started finding myself around.


I found myself around “women” and not just girls. Career women who knew how to dress. Women with strong personalities and the trait of being hard workers and (because of my field of work, often quite fit) They also had self-worth, and drive and that translates to a more beautiful class of woman, both physically and intellectually / emotionally.


By the time I met my wife I had come to a point where I knew what I wanted, was comfortable walking up and talking to any girl I liked, and the subsequent confidence that comes from that. It means I simply only spoke to women I found attractive and desirable. I can say I’ve aged well and get more compliments now than I ever did a decade ago, but my wife is way out of my league, physically, and my equal in almost any other way.

[EricSummer]

In terms of looks I have consistently dated up, not down. While I would rate myself slightly above average (6), the women were usually very pretty, about 8. They all had university education, too. However, some had significantly lower income than myself. So I think for me any dating down only applies to income.

[Vegasrunner]

@ericsummer Nice, good for you. That shows that you've probably generated a lot of value in yourself. Very rare for men to date two levels up.

[EricSummer]

Of course it is possible that I rate myself too harshly, but in principle my daughter confirms my assessment. She says I need to be very careful as my girlfriend is too pretty for me and that can be dangerous.

However, I guess where I rate high is emotional stability and faithfulness. An attractive woman may assign high value to that for example if she has been disappointed earlier.

[Vegasrunner]

@ericsummer She probably has a point. in my opinion it's always a good idea to have a women you're related to Mom, sister, daughter, etc vet a new girlfriend, because those are the only women that will tell you the truth.
A man that isn't attractive can make up for it in other ways as you mentioned for women it's virtually impossible.

[RyanK9b]

Lel, the scale is not the same for both genders.
If you date 8s etc means that you dating down in a woman perspective.
They don't rate as we do

[EricSummer]

@RyanK9b - Not sure I understand. I realize woman rate men more harshly. By that logic she would rate me lower than I do myself and I would be dating up even more.

However, the famous chart showing that women rate almost nobody as really hot is a misunderstanding. It will be enough for a guy to tick the box of looking ok. It is difficult to impress a woman with looks alone and that's basically all the chart confirms.

[RyanK9b]

Yes, but as said women rate men on other criteria.
Not on looks more on charisma, status, money, protection. Thats why they date up. Women hate to date down, they don't want a suborden.

[EricSummer]

@RyanK9b - Yes, that's clear. I was referring to looks only. One has to score somewhere else to make the catch.

[RyanK9b]

But u can't. The looks doesn't matter to a woman like to a men. So u must admit that your daughter is dead wrong. Bc u don't have to be careful bc of your looks.
Also emotional stabil and faithfulness has nothing to do with it

[EricSummer]

@RyanK9b - My daughter meant that a woman who is so pretty might want me only for my money. You and I know that women are attracted by financial success, but I'm not cynical enough to think that this is all they want.
Most women will want to build an attachment with a guy and they are looking for - shall we say it - love. To this majority it matters a lot if the guy has a history and personality that indicates faithfulness. It's subconsciously related to paternal investment.
Looks also matter. In my girlfriend's ethnicity a blond and blue-eyed guy like myself gets a significant bonus for being exotic, even if he is an average specimen of that type.

[WiccanLady2023]

20 - not someone you'd ever be able to compete with. Intelligent, successful, generous, known throughout the community for volunteering, etc. Currently he's in China investigating items to import for my business.

[TacosRAwesome]

It's more about financial status and jobs than looks from what I know.

[Avicenna]

There's a lot more to a person than their looks, and that factors into people's decisions on whether they will date a particular individual.

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you have citations to a few of those studies?

[OlderAndWiser]

Yeah, I knew you wouldn't respond. There are no "studies;" it's just something that you fabricated because you want to believe it and you want to give others a reason to believe you.

[sheikalana]

LMAO well said.

[JohnSmityJohnson]

I guess I'm a contrarian but whatever. Look, I don't think in terms of 1-10. People are attracted to different looks and personalities. Why do we have reduce people to a number? In my opinion it dehumanizes them. Therefore I'm going to say that men date and Mary who they are attracted to, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't.

[Vegasrunner]

@JohnSmityJohnson You can say that but visual evidence and reality would disagree. If men married who they were attracted to evert man would be married to a super model, or young actress. Most men take what they can get and try to hold on to it. That's why women typically initiate divorce more than men.

[JohnSmityJohnson]

Then it seems that you know nothing about men.

[Vegasrunner]

@JohnSmityJohnson Because I proved your theory false?

[Wonderingguyy]

My ratings are based on looks+personality together. The lowest I’ve dated is 4 and right now I’m dating a 10

[Vegasrunner]

@Wonderingguyy Do you think your experience dating a 4 helped you in any way to get a 10?

[Anonymous]

Yes I believe so too. Men will date a homeless hot chick, a majority of women won’t. We’ll date women working at McDonalds, most women won’t they want someone on their level or making more. Usually it’s making more.

[scooogy]

What makes numbers here though? They were rather poor but had a job in contrast to me, a former college student, currently unemployed, them having kids in some cases. Most of them were obese, which I missed out on when noticing them online (in two cases) but even if I grew aware, I still get offers by single moms and obese women now and then. Only kids are a huge no to me if she appears to have entered that door too young or seems rather poor and seemingly needs a supplier.

[JesseP1nk]

The girl i dated in high school was like elisha cuthbert from girl next door... So she was like 10 obviously... lowest probably 7?

[MountAverage]

Rating women on a numerical scale is for incels.

[Vegasrunner]

@mountaverage Aren't those the guys that don't get any bitches? How could they rate them?

[MountAverage]

There's no other creatures on this planet who are as obsessed with rating women as incels.

That's the whole thing about incels - they know the least about women but think they know them best.

[Vegasrunner]

@mountaverage That's an interesting theory. Do you personally know a lot of incels?

[MountAverage]

I think it's pretty evident to anyone who's paid even just a little bit of attention to the whole incel movement in the last couple of years.

I have no idea how many incels I actually know, usually they keep their insane beliefs to themselves IRL.

[Vegasrunner]

@mountaverage Lol, the last thing I want to do is pay attention to a bunch of guys not getting any pussy, I don't even understand why u would spend your time doing that. I don't even understand how there can be a movement when I looked it up it says incel stands for involuntarily celebrate. If the don't even want to be celebrate how can it be a movement. Is it like a support group.

[MountAverage]

I didn't mean "pay attention" as in actively go out of your way to focus on them. I meant more as in, noticing them as the phenomenon that they are. There are countless things in society that we notice without actively focusing on them.
Oh, and what you looked up is merely the original definition of the word itself. It's become much more than that in the last couple of years. It's a whole mindset, a belief system. They even have their own language. And some of them went on actual killing sprees. They are radicalized young men.

[Vegasrunner]

@mountaverage TBH I've only heard that term on GAG so I wouldn't be the best person to speak on it. What's something else we notice in society w/out focusing on it?
I'm confused, whats the belief system they don't want to have sex? What guy is joining that? Also if they are involuntarily celebrate, why would that lead to a killing spree. I don't even remember what are original conversation was now, this seems fascinating. How do you radicalize someone by saying the reward is u don't get to have sex, I guess it could be a religious group. This just proves how it's important for guys to raise their value so they can get laid.

[MountAverage]

I envy you for that! Haha

Well, they're not like an organization, they're a social phenomenon. I mean, there are subreddits and stuff of specific groups, but generally speaking it's a loose ideology. They are very misogynistic and blame women for pretty much everything. They slut-shame, they think women owe them sex/dates for simply being (supposedly) nice to them, they believe men can only be successful with women by being muscular and wealthy and aggressive, and so on. Not all of them believe all of these things equally, like I said, it's more like a loose ideology. Just like not all Feminists believe in all the exact same principles.
About the radicalization thing - they're not the ones radicalizing others into becoming incels, what I meant was that they are the ones being radicalized. Far right groups have a very strong focus on young, frustrated isolated men/boys because they are very easy prey and they are very susceptible to right-wing talking points. If you delve into the world of incels, you'll soon find that most of them are politically very right-wing. That is no coincidence. But the Left is indirectly to blame as well, because they have failed to reach these frustrated young men and basically left them as a recruitment gift for far right groups.
And yes, you're absolutely right it's like a religious cult.

[Vegasrunner]

@mountaverage Thanks, now I'm afraid to look it up for fear of having my search history tracked and contacted by one. Radicalizing young frustrated Boys isn't that new, I just don't understand where the hatred of women part comes in. Are you saying that prey on young boys that hate women or they teach the young boys to hate woman?

[MountAverage]

I would say that a lot of young frustrated boys already immaturely resent women for rejecting them, so it's easy to radicalize them into misogyny and anti-feminism.

[Vegasrunner]

@mountaverage Again something I can't really relate to. I work directly w/ young men, granted I work w/ the ones that have won the genetic lottery but usually it's them that are doing the rejecting. We literally have to hold seminars to teach them about how much of a risk women can be to their livelihoods.

[MountAverage]

What on Earth is your profession LMAO

[Vegasrunner]

@mountaverage Basketball Management Scouting

[MountAverage]

And what's the connection to women?

[Anonymous]

Like maybe an 8, I view self roundly at -1 so don't know what she saw in me or anyone else for that matter

[jahaims]

I've only been with my wife and she is way out of my league

[Vegasrunner]

@jahaims That doesn't tell us much u could be a 2 and she could be a 6 for all we know.

[FreyaRed]

No source of course. lol

[RyanK9b]

Thats biology since ever...
You're not guy so u never know.
Also no source of a website or so is needed for something that is obvious

[RyanK9b]

My lowest 5 and highest 7

[Vegasrunner]

@RyanK9b Thanks from reply. Did you learn anything from the 5 that helped you get the 7?

[RyanK9b]

I got the 7 first then the 5

[Vegasrunner]

@RyanK9b Lol

[Drewtate]

6 in looks

[Anonymous]

About a 4 or 5.