Why he didn't text in between date?

[Anonymous]

We purely only chat when it comes to planning our upcoming date. Then both of us went silent. Even if we chat, its sooo rare. And most of the time, i initiate first, he do respond late, but good reply at least, not 1 word reply only..
I have talk with him, i'm so lazy to text him because he always reply late, to which he respond "because usually after class, i went to sleep or movie.. but if u text me 12am and above, i will always be free and reply to u immediately (but he know i sleep early)".. Not sure if thats a good excuses or no.. But yeah, apart from that, the fact that he rarely initiate any chat first except planning, i find it a bit weird..

[Anonymous]

He’s just not that into you. Take it from someone who’s been in many dating scenarios — if he wanted to, he would. I always say that if you’re willing to do it then it’s not too much to ask of them, because you are practicing what you preach.
So if you can make time to send a text or ask about a date, why can’t he? It can’t be all on you to keep things afloat, you need reciprocated efforts, if for nothing else then to make you feel like there’s progress happening. Eventually you are going to feel stagnant and tired of carrying this on your back.

[Asker]

Fair enough.. but its hard when their gesture during the date is not aligned with this kind of matter.. thanks tho for the reality check

[Opinion Owner]

I completely agree, it’s confusing when their actions in person are so much more different than when you’re apart. But after a while it all becomes repetitive: not really speaking outside from planning a date, have a good date, wash, rinse, repeat. You wanna gain some traction and right now it just doesn’t seem like he’s interested in prioritizing you or making that happen. So I don't know what he’s looking for, and maybe it’s just a matter of asking what his intentions for talking to you are, but his actions say a lot about where he stands.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, I hate that you always have to initiate and he recognizes that too. “If you text me before 12 I will always be available to talk to you”…. Ok so sir if you’re just sitting around with free time, why can’t you text me? Give me a call? Ask to hang out? Things like this are so telling.

[Asker]

Thats right!!😭 and he only call or video call when we agree to discuss our work together or smtimes if he needs help with something.. . tho most of the time once the main topic is done, we will just continue talking about random things for hours, but still.. And now it seems like everything is on me and im the one who start first when in fact, he's the one who start all of this thing first. Now i might seem ‘desperate’ from his side, who knows🤷🏻‍♀️ I guess i’ll just distance myself from him, if nothing change, i’ll just move on, or if he at least have an effort to change n i can see improvement, i’ll give him one and last chance

[Opinion Owner]

If this is truly a last chance, make sure it’s fair so you can walk away with no guilt. By that, I mean asking what his intentions are for talking to you. I know it’s a scary question, but it’s better than wasting your time. Right now, he just comes off as lazy with his efforts, and you will tire of this.

[Asker]

If i bound to ask that (which means nothing works anymore by that time) i bet his answer going to be “just friend”.. At the end of the day, its technically my fault for thinking too much🙃 (despite him frequently do physical touch with me, not sexually. Which actually i took it as a main sign of his interest in the beginning, but everything is messed up now)..

[Opinion Owner]

Unfortunately it’s possible that you’re someone he enjoys flirting with at work, but outside of it, he isn’t taking anything serious. It’s common for people to have that person at their job, even go as far as to call them a work husband/wife, but nothing off the clock. I’m not sure what the purpose or benefit of it is but in any case, I’d put an end to it if I were you. One thing about work romance is that if it doesn’t work, the aftermath can suck. You’d still be having to deal with him at work, trying not to make things awkward or messed up, I don’t find it worth all that trouble. Even now, if you feel certain that asking him what his intentions are would result in him calling you a friend, then that should tell all you need to know. I wouldn’t say it’s your fault, he’s the one that showed the interest first. But that’s either here nor there, what matters now is your actions going forward.

[Asker]

Good points right there… I’ll just try my best to distance myself from him then

[WhitneySnow]

I think he likes you. Some guys just aren’t good at texting.

[Asker]

It sucks haha.. Like when we are on sem break, and one of us is busy and can't go out.. then it will just be like, lost contact moment for a week or two

[WhitneySnow]

That does really suck