Am I being too insecure about this situation with my boyfriend and his female friend?

[ALIMIT9239]

My long distance boyfriend called me the other day and started taking about his day to me. He is a business owner and told me that he had arranged to go to the gym with a female friend who he had known from college and that he was looking at giving out some samples to her. He asked me if that was ok with me and I said I felt uncomfortable about it and so he cancelled his plans with her. I still can’t stop thinking about the situation that he was texting another female in the first place and arranging to go to the gym with her behind my back. I feel confused hurt angry and jealous. He even read out the messages to me and they seemed platonic. He said she has a boyfriend and she’s from Kenya and that before he met me for the first time they used to hang out as friends and go on walks together and he’d tell her he’d been speaking to me and planning to meet me

Do I have a right to feel upset and jealous about the situation, or am I being too insecure?

[OlderAndWiser]

Do you have the right to feel that way? You have the "right" to feel whatver it is that you feel, but. . .

Obviously, you are jealous about him having contact with any other female, and that is unrealistic for a long term relationship. Accusing him of doing this "behind your back" is unfair since you are long distance. Is he supposed to consult you firrst about every decision in his life?

Do you expect him to avoid all contact with females as long as he is with you? How long do you think that can last?

If you don't trust him, why are you together? If you do trust him, perhaps you should act like it.

[blueonblack22]

Some jealousy is normal. But you need to ask yourself if it’s a you problem or a him problem.

You have a right to speak up about your discomfort. However at the same time if you don’t trust him when he had good communication and transparency (and he definitely displayed that from what you wrote) then that could be a you problem because it’s rooted in a insecurity that has nothing to do with him.

You better be careful here. Obviously he likes and respects you. But if he feels controlled and unnecessarily distrusted then you are taking a very dangerous risk here.

It’s human nature to rebel against judgements that are perceived as unfair. He might initially take your jealousy as a sign you really like him. But if it becomes overbearing then he will take it as a you problem. Bad things can come out of that.

[BlackBeauty90]

You already asked this question and the answer for anyone who has Intelligence above 60 IQ is he's a decent respectable individual that's being honest and respectful to your issues.

You on the other hand need help. A lot of help. You are a jealous insecure immature individual who quite honestly is going to run this guy off because you can't control your mental issues and end up with a guy that's going to cheat on you

[BlackBeauty90]

I mean you even made a second account to ask this question - troll

[Drooogie4]

I think you absolutely have the right to those feelings.

BUT a massive green flag that he respected your feelings on it. And that the texts seem truly platonic.

Especially considering their friendship pre dated your relationship, he likely is honest that it's platonic.

I think within reason, it's healthy to have friendships with the opposite sex. A guy with true women FRIENDS is better for it.

[BlackBeauty90]

Why is she right to have these feelings? She's insecure, immature AND a troll. She already asked this question under another account name 3 days ago. She is merely looking to validation for her unacceptable behavior when the guy has NOT done anything uncouth.

[AviatorTom]

You are being insecure. He has told you everything, you understand it's a platonic friendship, and he even canceled his gym plans because you felt uncomfortable.

[Avicenna]

No, it's totally understandable you'd feel that way

[jshm2]

WTF are you both?

He isn't a very good "business owner" (probably an MLM peddler) if he's asking long distance strangers (You both still are on how to deal with customers that he's taking to the gym.

You are acting like he's your husband, when he isn't even a real boyfriend!

[HelpfulWoman]

But, it wasn't behind your back? He literally asked you and respected your response enough to cancel?
So yes, I'd lean to insecurity.

[Wise4myage]

Your overreacting. He was being upfront with you about this girl, so he wasn't hiding anything. And, he agreed not to invite her.

[Nikki1989]

Chances are he is cheating or at least thinking about it.

[SnowedIn]

... you may want to look into this user. At least the third account with this same question or almost word for word similar questions.

[JesseP1nk]

Look... If someone wanna cheat, then they will find the way. Despite you don't allow them to meet or talk

[BigDog1989]

I don't understand why women let their man have girl "friends", then complain about them

[Staximus]

When are women going to stop falling for this long distance bullshit?

[KrakenAttackin]

There is no such thing as a "long distance relationship".

[strateguy632]

in this situation you aren't overreacting

[Anonymous]

didn't you already ask this question