Insecure about boyfriend's female friend?

[Anonymous]

I honestly think I'm being crazy and insecure (I know I am) but my boyfriend and I are doing long distance. He became friends with a girl and he put up a snap of them looking really close last year. I got upset and he took it down immediately. They became friends on Facebook and it got so many likes from his friends which upset me even more. I confronted him and he said there's nothing going on and he loves me and doesn't want to lose me.

She then posted a song on his Facebook page and two of his friends put a link to wedding songs underneath the post. He just said it's them messing around.

He came home and I felt so much better and I knew the second I saw him he didn't cheat, and he wasn't lying.
Now this girl has become really good friends with his friends and I'm honestly just so insecure. He likes all (well not all, some) her photos on Facebook. Having said that, anytime she interacts with him on Facebook, he doesn't like or respond to anything.

I've heard her voice on his Snapchat story today and it's just spiralled me. I'm visiting him soon so the insecurity will probably go away and I'll wonder why I ever thought something was going on but right now I'm really struggling.

Should I be worried or am I making all of this up in my head?

[ShortCircuit]

No, you are not being crazy. I am so sick and tired of hearing people call others crazy and dismissing their emotions, just because jealousy has so many negative connotations.

You feel what you feel. It isn't your fault. You cannot be blamed for your emotions.

Stop putting yourself down over it, and don't let others put you down over it either. And as for your boyfriend, if he truly cared about you, the way you felt would matter a hell of a lot more to him.

Not only do I urge you to speak up, but you have a RIGHT to do so. If it bothers you, let him know. And if he doesn't do anything to change that, he doesn't deserve you.

If you are too persistent, and he is too stubborn, you might lose him in the process, but at least you'll know where he stands. If he chooses her over you, then you're better off without him anyway.

[Asker]

I actually haven't told him how I'm feeling about it all because I am afraid I'm going to come across as a psycho, jealous girlfriend or something. And I really have no ground to stand on with confronting him about it as so far this year there hasn't been much interaction with them besides this Snapchat story now. I know deep down, there is nothing going on. My boyfriend is friends with more females than males and he does treat her the same (if not worse) as all his other friends. I'm just getting bad vibes from her is all. I know if he had to chose, he'd pick me over her but I'm not going to ask him to. I just need to get my insecurity under control because if I wasn't so insecure I probably wouldn't even be focusing on these tiny little things.

[lord_chilled]

Yeah its normal to worry. If he doesn't like her that way, it doesn't matter reallh, since he can just brush her off , even of she does make a move.
But if he is playing along/into it, you should be careful

[Asker]

I don't think he does. He does tell me every time she's around because he knows I get worked up over it all and he doesn't try and hide anything from me regarding her really. I'm just insecure and getting bad vibes from her is the stem of it all really.

[lord_chilled]

Well in that case its not him thats the problem, its the girl who is giving your gut the feeling. She might be lowkey interested and he may not be too aware.
I hate these kind of situations. Which is why i dont date women with close male friends and always make sure to let them know i won't approve, from the start.
You can always tell him to avoid contact, if its too hard for you, but i dont know if it will work

[Asker]

I would tell him to avoid contact but I don't want him to think I don't trust him or anything. And she's friends with his friends group now so it would just be awkward for everyone if I did tell him to stay away from her. I'm visiting him in 2 weeks anyway so I'll get a better idea of what the situation is then.

[lord_chilled]

See thats the kind of thingvthat looks like a red flag to me. Is she really that friendly or is she getting involved with all his friends to "secure her property"?
But im the kinda person who doesn't give people the benefit of the doubt, easily.

And you are right, after visistingbhim, you may know better of the situation

[Asker]

Well she has another thing coming if she thinks she's "securing her property". Thank god this distance isn't for much longer 😩

[lord_chilled]

Well, i sure dont want to be caught in the crossfire...
Anyway, see how it goes first...

[MikaC98]

My boyfriend has a couple close female friends, and most of my friends are guys. It literally doesn't matter if he's liking her pics. I like my friends' pics? Is that wrong too? He's with you for a reason (obviously because he likes you). If he was into her, he'd be dating her. And for the love of God, don't use social media as a basis for him having interest in her. You're dating him, vice versa. Girls really need to stop with the "liking her pics" bullshit. I'm not trying to be rude, but it's true. Girl, you need to keep your shit together and keep your head held high if you don't want some measly girl stealing your man.

[DuhTacos]

Well, something similar happened to me. I introduced my boyfriend (who's now my ex) to my bestfriend and he was so nice to her and she took that the wrong way. I noticed that she always used to try to flirt with him and he always rejected her. Then she acted like she wanted to create a group chat with the 3 of us, but I didn't have instagram or kik. So then she started to text him a lot for no reason. Then from my sources I found out that she liked him. Then a few weeks later I saw him cheat with my own eyes. Just keep your eyes on the girl, don't let her steal him from you..

[Asker]

Yep this sounds pretty much like my situation right now. The texting part too. There's not a lot I can do other than see if he starts acting strange (which he hasn't so far) because we're long distance and stuff. I'll just have to make sure I "mark my territory" when I visit him in 3 weeks.

[DuhTacos]

Alright. I hope everything works out for you. :)

[Asker]

Thank you 😊 the distance isn't for much longer so hopefully it will 😊

[Wonderer89]

Only based on the information provided I think your insecurity is getting the better of you. She has become friends with his social circle, if they aren't going out just the two of them or anything that seems inappropriate. Your jealousy over the photo on Facebook was exacerbated because it got a reaction from his friends but doesn't mean their friendship is inappropriate.

I'd definitely mention how it makes you feel so he can be mindful of behaviours around her but I don't think there is anything to be worried about

[Wonderer89]

Thanks for MHO Hun 😊

[SarahsSummer]

FB can really amplify a persons insecurities. If you are trusting of him but worried about her motives, why not try to become friends with her?

[Asker]

Yes that's what I think I need to do. I was suspicious of my boyfriend's other friend a few months back but once I met her and got to know her I knew there was nothing going on. My boyfriend is aware I have issues with this girl though so I think he does purposely try to keep us separate but I think maybe I should meet her and this could all be sorted.

[SarahsSummer]

And you never know, she may end up becoming your best friend.

[oceanofblue]

Sorry girly...
that's when its time to leave him. He would have eyes only for you and he's not doing that. I've been there, and it gets worse the longer you stay with him. It will be hard to go because you are so connected with him but this is screwing with your emotions.

[Drooogie4]

It may be perfectly innocent.. but no, you are not crazy for being worried.

[Anonymous]

Oh man you mark my words he has been or is going to be hittin that soon. Its not really a reflection on their character its just what happens when two people of the oppisite gender are together a lot. Some "chill" will be added to netflix.
I've banged every female fried I've ever had no bs

[Greek_God]

You should be worried, because of two reasons:
1. Men and women can't be friends, unless at least one of them is gay
2. Long distance relationships are bullshit and they are destined to fail from the beginning (unless its a normal relationship who had to become long distance temporarily)

[Asker]

My relationship was normal distance before it became long distance. And the distance is ending in less than 3 months. And the whole "men and women can't be friends" is crap. I have plenty of male friends as he has female friends.

[Greek_God]

Your relationship is then the temporary long distance I mentioned and might even have a future (not if he is cheating on you though). And men and women can't be friends, everybody knows this. All your male friends masturbate while thinking about you and if they had a chance they would fuck you. And as for his female friends, based on this question I see its working out great for you 😒

[Asker]

Ok no. If this is your mindset then your opinion isn't going to help at all.

[Greek_God]

These are facts. And just because you don't like the truth, doesn't make it any less true

[Icyfire101]

They're just friends, you're overreacting

[Pipi769]

Be-Worried. Something fishy is going on.

[zombiebabe]

just remain careful