Why are most girls very picky on dating apps but not irl?

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t make much sense to me

[DaveJord]

I am not sure what you mean by IRL... women are picky 24/7 IRL or on apps. I think it's in the genetic coding honestly, and I am being serious.

Okay honestly, so here is the deal. One-line men out number woman 3 to 1 and on some sites 10 to 1. So, every time you are talking to woman online you have to assume she is getting messages and likes from at least 3 to 10 different losers at a time. So, this could have 1 of 2 major effects.

1. They are overwhelmed by the experience and withdraw from chatting and online dating in general. This is why there are so many women profiles that are honestly inactive, but the website keeps them up just in case they decide to come back. Yeah, right they keep them up, so guys think they have more choices than they really do.

2. All the online attention she is getting, goes to her head. Because she is not sure what she really wants, and she is getting attention from men she never gets in IRL. So, she starts thinking she can do better, but never does. Because all the hot sexy guys never pan out for her, but she still thinks she can do better then you, because she gets all this attention from hotter guys, but it never works out for her does it?

Like seriously I am moderately handsome 47-year-old guy with a nice dad bod... but when's some pretty and hot 28-year-old or even 35-year-old tries to connect with me... I am thinking scammer. Seriously, what would a 28-year-old want with me? But I have had women tell me out right, I get attention from men have your age... and she is like 42. I am like, yeah, I don't doubt it you're an attractive 42 women... if I was 22, I would hit it, but at 47 I know better. So, if turning on little boys is your thing then go get it girl!!! BYE!!!

So, when you are online, with some women... you just know she is playing the field. I mean it's hard to really talk to someone when you are constantly being interrupted by other guys messaging her... and the bubble of hers just stays green. But IRL, you got this womans undivided attention for at least 5 to 10 minutes, and its personal and real. None of those guys online are looking in her eyes and smiling and laughing with her in person. So, it seems like she might be less picky, only because you are real and tangible standing right in front of her. Don't be fooled though, we are all picky.

[ManOnFire]

Because they don’t have as much control over specifics in real life as they would online. Online dating can be like looking at a menu in a restaurant and deciding you like what's on the list, you get to see details like salary, location, job, interests. Stuff you can easily swipe right or left on.

In real life you have to put in some work to get to know a person, and you can't figure out all those things without the person telling you, or you asking, which is inconvenient for women. Real life makes them have to be more realistic, or even compromise, which they prefer not to do so they'd rather shop online.

[Minahh]

There's not many high quality women or men on dating apps. You just have to go through a lot of dirt in search of finding that gold. It's the same way irl for many people. I got a lot of likes from men and yes duh you're on a dating app so being at least semi attractive is important. But it's not the only factor. I swiped left on the guy if he had clearly written in the profile that he has a kid already or wants one, is in a situationship, looking for a hookup, different hobbies to mine and overall just a weird vibe even if I found him attractive and honestly after being through a heartbreak and being played that's exactly how I'd do it irl.

[Asker]

I’ve been told I’m attractive and my pics are good but I don’t get many matches, who knows if it’s true

[red324]

It may take a couple weeks of continuous swiping everyday to get some matches. That's how it worked for me it's like it needed to be warmed up

[Rei13]

Women are picky in general whether it is on app or not, or at least they should be whenever it comes to matching with a guy. Going back to cave man days if a woman gets pregnant she is going to want someone who has stable resources, will provide and will support her and the child. You’re in a vulnerable position and don’t want to choose poorly as the guy has the ability to abandon where the woman doesn’t in that situation. Fast forward to now it is a bit different but you’re still going to try to get the best guy you possibly can.

[coachTanthony]

Has nothing to do with picky they just have more information IRL that they can assess like humor, etc.

[Avicenna]

If that's true, it's because you have the illusion of unlimited choices online

[purplepoppy]

When you talk to someone in real life you pick up on things like tone of voice, facial expressions, body language etc which makes it easier to bond with them.

You also get to know them more gradually so when you learn a negative there's already a baseline of better attributes that make the negative less important. But online you see those bad points before they make a good first impression.

Finally in real life there may only be a few single guys in a room to pick from but online you've got countless guys.

[Stacey55666]

On the Internet guys just have to look good. A guy who is a 10, will send messages to women as low as a 4. They don't actually want anything below an 8, but, hey, any port in a storm. And it's not like it takes much effort to copy and paste the same message to all women.

But in real life, the guys who are 10's won't give women who are 7 or below the time of day. Why should they? And in real life you need game, and most of the 10's are clueless about that.

[Asker]

Do you have any examples of a guy you’d swipe on? I’m curious how attractive guys truly need to be

[Stacey55666]

In real life, average looking is fine. But online, it's a candy store. I've talked to women who've been on the same dating site for 15 years. It doesn't work. It's a waste of time. If you just want a hookup, online is perfect for hot guys. My advice to all guys is to go out into the real world and hone your skills.
This site was meant to be Guysaskgirls
I heard the founder say this in a video on YouTube.
There are a lot of tricks you can learn to be successful at this.

[Asker]

Would you mind if I dm you and send you the pictures I’m using on dating apps? I’m not expecting any crazy feedback, but an honest first impression of my pictures would be appreciated. I’m not looking to just hook up on these apps either, I’m looking for a relationship

[Stacey55666]

I don't have any interest in DM. Get off the dating apps and get some game. I can help you. The ball is in your court.

[Asker]

Alright that’s fine, worth a shot. I’ll do my best

[Stacey55666]

Bees, scorpions and snakes can bite you. Lose your fear of women and you will get tons of them.

[Kaamraj]

Attractive women are picky (selective) in real life as well as on social media or dating apps. But more so on the latter because they have the abundance of options. Already on most dating apps there are more men than there are women. Men are the one pursuing and women are passively receiving. Dating apps are one of the worst place for the vast majority (90%) of men who are average in women's eyes. It's most of the women and only a fraction of the men who benefit.

[normalice]

Imagine if you had ten thousand girls sending you messages online. You could be picky. But then you discover they all live in some other country. And in real life you only know one girl who will talk to you without instantly wanting to sort out baby names and a wedding date. You can no longer be picky.

[Lenanolena]

@normalice you don't know much about women

[normalice]

I thought you blocked me?

[Lenanolena]

I can't. You are important to me.

[Lenanolena]

You could spit in my face and I'll kiss your ass Mal

[normalice]

@Lenanolena aw

[Lenanolena]

I'll do whatever you want

[Chris123432169]

Because girls have it on easy and guys wanna just fuxk so the girls have a bunch of options so they could basically pick whoever they want. But the part the girls fucking up is those guys wanna just fuck and gooo lol expect the little nerds and losers

[Finchie40]

Because the whole concept of dating apps is wrong to begin with , with swiping and picking someone based off of their looks instead of actually knowing the person , IRL yes attraction is important but not 100 percent , someone IRL can be average looking but their personality and characteristics can make them more attractive , I prefer meeting girls IRL over meeting girls off the internet , only because I am not just picking her just for her beauty , personality and characteristics matter as well

[Peter_Penetrator]

Because on dating apps the guy they are into could end up being Ted Bundy. It is much easier to put on a certain persona online.


A woman’s creep radar is more sensitive face to face. So if she meets a guy IRL his vibe will give him away as a creep or as someone she will feel safe with.

[Nikki1989]

I would have thought that would be obvious. You can see what you are getting in real life, but online you can't.

[Sharkstealth]

Unfortunately in reality what ever "game" you have still doesn't matter because our country is reduced to a porn attitude. Even girls are addicted to it. They would rather swing as a single woman than be with an average man. You may also be only going for women out of your league.

[molonski2]

Yeah , its a good question , and so very true , I guess on the app , they have the option of ruling in totality , women are more likely to read the entire profile , if one thing puts them off , you are cut..

In real life , maybe not.

[Apple1996]

Women are always picky. It's in our nature. We aren't just gonna fuck and have a relationship with just any random man

[Asker]

I don’t mean just any random man, but I get it. I’ve been told I’m attractive and have good pictures.. I guess I just thought that would be enough to get some decent matches. I’m not looking to just fuck either, I’m looking for a long term relationship

[Asker]

It makes me feel like I need to get surgery or something to look good enough for girls lmao

[Apple1996]

I'm sure you look fine. Dating can be difficult especially online. a lot more men on those sites compared to women so they have more options

[strateguy632]

they see more information so reject more online. but in person they don't see the information so try meeting. also many on dating apps intend one nighters, with even poor guys, not relationship with a family guy.

[inhua]

girls are picky whether online or offline

what makes you think Joseph Merrick has a better shot in real life than on a dating app? if anything he'd get restraining orders filed against him just for existing

[genericname85]

because they have MUCH more options on dating sites than irl. economics 101. the higher the supply, the lower the price. the higer the supply of dudes that are trying to stick their dicks in you, the more picky you can be about them.

[Asker]

Am I the only one who finds that incredibly depressing? It makes sense because there are more dudes out there on the apps but for average/decent looking dudes like me we don’t get much. It’s kind of a sad reality

[genericname85]

i don't think that that reality is sad. because girls don't typically like to be pumped and dumped. so that's why "IRL" you can bring a lot more value to the table. cause on a dating site profile, a girl can't see if you're "really" looking for a partner long term or if you're just trying to fuck.

[genericname85]

if you don't like the disadvantages of dating sites, don't use them. simple. you can pick up girls irl. that's way harder to get yourself to actually doing, cause it's awkward, outside of your comfort zone and you get rejected right to your face. but this way you actually have pretty good chances.

[Asker]

Ok ok that makes sense, I see that now. My intentions are never to fuck and dump but most guys probably are, it makes sense

[genericname85]

yeah so if that's genuinely your goal, you already have better chances than a huge chance of your maybe way more visually attractive competition.

[Asker]

Right but it’s hard to display that with an online profile. I suppose it’s also possible that some of the most attractive guys profiles and well set up and don’t actively scream “I just want to fuck”

[genericname85]

and because that's hard to display on an online profile that realisticly nobody looks at longer than 2 seconds, doing stuff irl should be a much better use of your time. because irl you get more time of talking to someone. having a real conversation, real interaction and can leave a good impression. people can estimate how true your statements are from your mouth while looking into your eyes way better than reading a bullshit statement on some dating site.

[Anonymous]

It's dictated by Evolution through natural selection. Reproduction is a huge investment for female mammals, so their best reproductive strategy is to find the highest quality mate.

Reproduction is a minor investment for male mammals (and reptiles), so their most effective reproduction strategy is to mate with as many females as possible.

[Asker]

That’s interesting… and it makes sense. I've thought about that in terms of other animals but I never really applied that to humans

[RavVid]

I think it makes a lot of sense. In dating apps a pic is the best thing you have to go by and necessarily - girls in particular - need to select it down to a few. Things like height is probably just an easy filtering to apply.

[Billlewis]

I think they're getting pickier and pickier, as well they should.

[Asker]

Why should they?

[Billlewis]

Because they have an overwhelming advantage, which allows them to be very selective in terms of who they want to date, have sex with, marry and bear children by.

[Asker]

I find that very frustrating as a guy who wants to find a long term partner, with decent looks but not the best imaginable

[Anonymous]

It's mostly just American culture... because they're self destructive. I'm friends online with Elena Rybakina, the 2022 Wimbledon champion and this year Australian Open runner up and Indian Wells champion, current world #3 tennis player. She's written me a few times. She's WAY OUT of my league... or most of us guys, for that matter (my humble opinion)... but she's very nice and humble, not on social media to find gangstas or baby daddies. It's her culture though... and she's not American.👌

[Anonymous]

Because most women DO NOT WANT TO DATE ONLINE! They window shop on line. I'll recommend to any guy who will listen DO NOT message women first online. Messaging first is for the creeps and perverts. If she wants to know you she has display a little interest and effort.

[CoolCatMar1]

I am picky irl as well. And surprise surprise! I am not on dating apps and never was.

[Asker]

That’s probably best lol, so far I’m just realizing that they suck and ruin my self esteem

[CoolCatMar1]

Dating apps are for weird people tbh

[Asker]

It’s honestly just unhealthy. I’m on there because I have a hard time meeting girls Irl and was hoping to meet a nice girl and start dating. Most guys are just on there to hook up so it kinda ruins it for everyone else

[CoolCatMar1]

Yeah i guess

[Asker]

I’m probably better off Irl I guess, this is just too confusing to me lol

[iiinsOMNIA]

Because there's an endless supply of men online. You can afford to be picky. In real life, you don't have much to work with, so we make do with what we have

[Anonymous]

What makes you think we aren’t picky irl? Even on dating apps, women are doing the same thing men are, which is exploring their options. All we have to judge off are pictures and bios, it’s not bad to be selective.

[Asker]

I have my doubts that most women are turning down hundreds to dozens of guys a week irl. If you met a guy in real life who wasn’t top 10% of guys attractive but he had a great personality and decent looks would you date him? On a dating app he likely wouldn’t have much of a shot

[Opinion Owner]

In all fairness, accessibility can be questionable for anyone, because who is meeting hundreds of men/women a week to potentially date irl? Hell, who is interacting with that many individuals in a week in general? Even on the apps, you can spend hours swiping through that many people and maybe only like 5 respond in that time frame. Also, beauty is subjective, so what you may consider top 10 may not ring true across the board. I could say Brad Pitt in his prime was the hottest shit to walk this earth, yet someone else would say he’s always looked like a foot lol. All this to say, yes I want someone I’m physically attracted to but I’m judging off personality and compatibility for the most part.

[Asker]

That’s true, beauty is subjective. I’ve heard from many woman that they rarely swipe right. Now I’m no stud lol, I’m not the best looking guy out there, but I workout and have been told I’m attractive yet rarely get matches (I’ve also been told my pictures are good). I’m just curious why some woman are so picky. I guess I didn’t expect to be struggling as much as I am. That’s the reason I ask

[Opinion Owner]

Some people are just picky, men and women alike, because dating apps give people the platform to do that. You could say you’re being overlooked because of your physical features, but in my opinion, the apps aren’t meant to result in success stories for everyone, I think it’s a very small percentage where an app worked in their favor. I’ve been to 3 bumble and okc weddings, yet when I was on and off the apps in my 20s, it was ultimately time wasted. As you get older it can really suck because you’re less likely to be in many scenarios where you can meet a woman, aside from being introduced through a friend or whatever.

[Huntingnfishin]

I have to agree with that one. On dating apps girls are like "no guys under 6ft tall, you're worthless shorter" IRL you see hot girls picking food out of some fat slobs beard

[iseekpinetrees]

Because most people write the wrong stuff on apps. If you say what's on your mind you probably sound boring.

[Girlsontop]

cuz they don't know anyone so they pick preferences to choose on apps while irl is just natural

[nastyb]

same thing for me. when i go on dating apps, I can never get any cute guys. In real life, its much easier for me to get an attractive guy.

[BoopBoopBeep]

On aps they can't get a free meal out of it tonight.

[Dinn3r]

Because there is more to a person than just a profile in real life right? When we see a profile through our phone vs actually seeing the individual in person is completely different.

[Sarahr123]

Some women are picky, some women are not. I feel like a lot of women just go for anyone.

[whirled_up_girl]

Are we? I don’t use dating apps so I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

? i know plenty of picky girls in real life

but i also know plenty of non picky girls

just throw away the dating apps. it's trash anyways

[serious]

I don't know based on what you are saying this.

[sheenagwapa]

i am picky irl... i am merciful but love for me is not charity

[boobliker]

they are looking for the perfect match which they will never find and end up spinsters and burn lots of good men on their way

[ConnerM]

In real life you don't have a bio written out in front of you. You have to actually ask the questions to find out if you would skip them.

[DarkLegacy]

It is because the women that use these apps are trash

[Anonymous]

Hundreds of guys pursue them online. They have to be picky. In real life, that's not the case.

[Chthou95]

They're picky even in real life. This is very big misconception that standards are different from online to in person. Women's standards are permanent. There's no changing of that

[annabananna]

You can’t go off of connection that you’d have if you met in real life.

[Alex-Snow]

Maybe because they have tons of choices on the dating apps

[DextroShade]

They have a lot more options online than IRL.

[LiamJHayden]

Are you sure it is the same girls in both groups?

[BarryLiverstone]

An attractive girl gets 100 messages a day. She’s has to be picky

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Dating apps is mostly for sex and short flings that's why.

[Guardian45]

EVERYONE is VERY picky on dating apps! Swipe left or right?

[msc545]

They are more worried about scammers on apps. Rightfully so.

[shades777]

well consider than there's double fhe amount of men on the dating app and only 15% get swiped on

[Anonymous]

On dating apps I look for easy women to fuck, often single moms, they think I'm going to marry them, but then they fuck me and I forget their name.

[Anonymous]

Because they can pick and choose, but its same for guys too.

[Asker]

Yes but guys get a lot less matches/likes on average than girls, and which means that guys are swiping more and less picky and girls are swiping less and more picky. It seems like no girl should have a problem being single if they can just get an app

[krin_m]

Not sure! May be their imagination takes over while using the apps?

[Anonymous]

Because dating apps are more built to appeal men

[Drumlin2001]

Are they not picky in real life?

[Lokiion]

Less control when it comes to irl

[Christoff92]

Don't really used dating apps.

[Grovermint]

Nah, it's the same IRL, too.

[Stacey55666]

Wrong.

[Bobbybopeep]

You have more to choose from on a app

[Fuentes]

Women be like that

[In_Trance]

I think you better check your facts