When Ending A Marriage, At What Point Is It Ok To 'Move On' And Start Acting Single (i. e. Date/Sleep With Others)?

Question

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

As soon as you feel ready to move on , their isn’t really a set time limit , Most people that go through divorces or break ups don’t really have a straight mind set to begin with , they feel lost and not really sure what direction to turn or what they really want , so they usually find themselves a rebound , someone to latch onto to make them feel better about themselves while they are still grieving over their break up or divorce , or if they met someone while they were still married , that’s a slim chance as well if that relationship will last , so it’s best to never rush into a relationship with anyone , even if you never been married before or had a relationship before , rushing into a relationship can set yourself up for disaster , Most people sadly lie when it comes to meeting someone new , telling that person what they want to hear so they can win them over , We aren’t mind readers and we really don’t know what someone’s true intentions are, so it’s best to always take your time before committing to someone completely and make sure they are really In it for the long haul and not the short haul , just because the sex is amazing it doesn’t mean that person is amazing as well

Giddyup · Accepted Answer

As a divorcee, I would say it is ok to put yourself out there if your not living together or when the Divorce Application was filed, whichever is sooner!

If your still Living together after filing the divorce application, the policy I used for myself is that I could start looking into dating apps, but I would not actually meet with someone until we were not living together. It would just be awkward and maybe add more drama than is needed at that time. Honestly, I needed that time to get myself in the right state of mind and be the best person for another anyway. This is clearly different for each individual.

Next, if you have children as I do. I felt it was very important for them not to see me in that matter, especially early. A few years later they still have not seen anything at all related to me being with another woman. Honestly, that has probably affected my meeting women, but i am ok with that. My ex has introduced more drama than most post-divorce, so guess it is what it is... I care about my daughters.

Ozanne · Accepted Answer

While it's noble to wait for a divorce, let's not kid ourselves because this isn't common. It's usually when each of the two people have mutually separated, they've likely gone on to have sex with other people.

Where I live, there are separations, legal separations, and they are done with the intent that divorce is likely the next step. A lot of people can't wait that long, especially if they're used to being with someone and find themselves rushing into the arms of someone else because they can't take single life.

Then there are the people on the other end of the new relationship who have a heated attraction toward someone who is waiting for their divorce to be finalized. As if they're going to hold on for what could be years for someone they're aching to be with.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

This is completely up to the person in question. For many people, the divorce "paper" is a formality. The relationship has been dead for years.

For others, again, it has nothing to do with papers or filings or time since the divorce. It has to do with actual grieving over the failure of the marriage, which is like a death. Especially if marriage is a serious commitment.

I'd think with proper grief counseling, a person might feel ready to seek a new relationship in a year or two. The problem with rushing off into a relationship earlier than that is the "rebound" issue. You need to get over, get past the former relationship to be ready for a new one. It's important work and a counselor can help a person to be ready.

AviatorTom · Answer

As soon as you are separated, with the intent to divorce, it's okay to start dating others.

Constatine · Answer

I could not choose from the poll. After my divorce my ex had instantly a new lover... So basically she already had one when things went wrong. The kids in the middle of this i decided to wait till the kids got older and understood what happend. I actually asked my kids for permission because i did not want to hurt them.. they did not wanted a new " mommy " ...

Till the day the they where 13 and 14...

I got a clearance card for dating 🤣😂 for my birthday.. and found someone close by who had an eye on my for a long time.. we are together since...

But the kids still comes first.. ( if you have kids that is 😂🤭 )

Hawkes_Lady · Answer

I would not even consider getting involved with and most definitely would not sleep with anyone until my or their divorce was finalized.

I have been cheated on and it is the worst feeling in the universe to realize that not only did the person disrespect the person they made vows to, but they also disrespected you and made you into someone you never intended to be by lying to you and sleeping with you.

JamesMI616 · Answer

The minute you're no longer under the same roof or sharing your marital bed. Once lawyers are involved it's over. Do you. In fact I bet you haven't been able to get laid properly for quite some time and you don't need his permission to blow off some steam.

Anonymous · Answer

quite a few years, especially if you have children. because they come first. and if no children, now you come first. you and your mental health. your stability. once you have those and aren't mourning the loss of your marriage anymore, and you are comfortable being single, then you can start again.

Anonymous · Answer

Any time after you've legally cut the cord with divorce papers. However, I do agree that if they've been routinely cheating on you, or they move on to others before the divorce is signed, it's clear things are REALLY over, so move on whenever in that situation.

Anonymous · Answer

I can't speak for every guy. But I won't even CONSIDER a woman who's divorce isn't finalized.

It's UNDERSTANDABLE that you'd want to salvage your marriage if still possible. This can and will lead her to a change of heart many times

I learned the hard way not to get involved with a woman until the divorce is finalized. Regardless of whether the marriage seems irretrievably broken.

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

It depends. We were only together until the kids moved out and we were civil but I waited until the divorce papers were completed and everything was split. The house was sold and we both moved into new places.

Nik1hil · Answer

Once you signed the Divorce! Then you can start dating and doing stuff, however your spouse cannot find out until 21 days after divorce.. Let their reality set in!..

strateguy632 · Answer

only after finalizing divorce because risk, accusation "he or she was seeing someone on the side" affect divorce so must wait.

AgentG111 · Answer

I'd have to pick a few different answers from when I was younger and what I was taught or raised in to after the first LTR break up to all three of my divorces.

msc545 · Answer

It depends - if you are in an at-fault divorce state you better be very good until it is final. In a no-fault state you can do whatever the hell you want as soon as you want.

Anonymous · Answer

Usually waiting one month for every year together is considered healthy but by the divorce most have cheated or hooked up.

LiamJHayden · Answer

As soon as you are ready. I personally will not date someone till the divorce is final, as I have seen a slew of last minute reconciliation.

Anonymous · Answer

Once it is finalized. Having relations before then can be seen as cheating and used against you in any divorce proceedings.

Jkgordon · Answer

You’ll know been there fine that

slatyb · Answer

It's complicated. Ask your lawyer.

skt19d · Answer

Just sent this to my cheating wife. ⚖️

driven159 · Answer

soon as you are separated.

jimmy2 · Answer

With me it was death of her

Mamaliv · Answer

When you are ready!

Anonymous · Answer

Few hours after divorce

When Ending A Marriage, At What Point Is It Ok To 'Move On' And Start Acting Single (i. e. Date/Sleep With Others)?

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When Ending A Marriage, At What Point Is It Ok To 'Move On' And Start Acting Single (i. e. Date/Sleep With Others)?

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