Why do some men say that they can't get a girlfriend?

Question

Honestly If no woman wants you its not women Its you

Lookingforthetruth · Accepted Answer

Except it is the woman.

Let me break it down for you. Simps, such as yourself, female friends, as well as praise women over and over on social media with compliments. In addition, good looking and or rich men are willing to sleep around/have situationships (aka fake LTR) with women for steady sex before kicking them to the curb. This in turn leads to the average woman having an unrealistic understanding of her value in the dating game; since a woman's value is not tied to men she can sleep with but get commitment from.

Women then think they are too good enough for the average guy after this level worship/treatment. This is made worse when OFs, twitch and women seeking out high paying jobs, basically mitigate men being able to leverage their provider abilities to attract a mate. Gone are the days, where women are content with a guy with an average salary (since they make that now). Now, a lot of women want 6 figures or more, since they seek out a Kim K lifestyle+ their hypergamous nature dictate they want a guy who makes more than them. Thus, as a man, you got to make substantially more than the average, if you can't attract a woman on physical attraction alone.

The only time such men are capable of getting women, is usually later in life when a woman is outside her physical prime (18-24) and has sustained one or more of the following problems:

1. Ran through and have racked up emotional/mental trauma and now want a nice, guy to take care of her and be her unofficial therapist.

2. She's a single mom

3. Her looks have gone to the crapper and the attention has dried up

4. She now wants a man that she thinks she can control

5. Her biological clock is ticking and she desperately wants to have a baby/stable family

And for the idiots saying "hit the gym", you guys don't get that women's attraction for men is far more critical and on things you can't change from a genetic level. This includes your race, bone structure, height, skeletal frames and muscle insertion. Sure hitting the gym and getting nice clothes will help a little but it won't move mountains for you if you aren't born with the right genetics from the get go. Going to the gym only work for women, since men are far more lenient and critical about female appearance.

ProbablyClueless · Accepted Answer

Honestly, it might not be the guy's problem. I know you're only 26, but believe me when I say women are just as capable of fucking things up as we are.

I get the point that you're making, but I get a little bit tired of people (men especially) acting like there isn't a huge amount of luck involved in finding love. Relationships require two people; the woman has just as much shit to work on as the man.

Sometimes women encounter the exact kind of guy they're looking for, but they don't have the confidence to date him so they destroy the connection... yeah... that's a thing that happens. God knows women are notoriously flighty in dating and reject men constantly for the smallest things.

Maybe the guy says he can't get a girlfriend because even though he is genuinely a catch, the women around him aren't thinking in terms of dating. Maybe the guy can't find love because he's actually a loser. Maybe the guy is just a normal, average guy, but the women in his area are emotionally burnt out and done with dating. Maybe the stars aligned perfectly, but something changed during the talking phase, so the person freaked out and sabotaged the relationship before it could blossom.

Maybe fuckin Mercury is in retrograde or some shit. Or, here's another thing that happens a lot; maybe the woman just woke up one day and decided she couldn't be bothered to put in the effort to date a guy that morning.

The reality is that relationships require two people to have their shit sorted out and both happen to be at a point in life that they want to date in order for the relationship to happen. Men pushing the "grindset" on each other is such out of touch advice.

You can be the best fisherman in the world and still not catch any fish if you aren't casting in the right waters.

jennifer_bloom · Accepted Answer

I think a lot of men and women do not understand that it’s possible for people different from themselves to be highly intelligent and capable. They don’t want to believe that cause it undermines their confidence and sense of value by robbing them of monopolies they believe the have other others. As an example, I have a cousin who believes I’m functionally regarded and morally blunted because I demand that people respect my Christian values which involves being privately considerate towards lower status people or maintaining chastity levels in your interaction or respecting people based on their character and not their income or appearance. The bible says people who hate religious people hated God before they hated religious people and hatred towards God is based on hatred for the things God stands for like humility, respect, inclusion, philanthropy, sacrifice, honesty, responsibility, and loyalty.

Smashingdoozy · Accepted Answer

So many reasons. Most of the time they want someone so specific and unrealistic it's actually baffling that they think they have a right to complain.

Sometimes, what I've noticed on dating apps mostly is they're just incapable of holding a conversation... The amount of conversations I've had to carry then I get blown up for ghosting after all the one worded closed ended responses or after calling them out on it...🤦🏻‍♀️

Lastly, they're just plain fucking rude and for some reason think that is going to get them somewhere with a woman even though it literally hasn't worked at all for them.

coachTanthony · Answer

Some men can't get a girlfriend and that is true. You said it's not the women it's you which is also true. Men need to stop complaining and stop saying they can't get a girlfriend and get their ass in the gym, toastmasters, etc... too many men today give up and fall back on excuses.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Some men and women can’t get a partner that’s true. Even if they’re successful or good looking. There’s just too many factors why they can’t find a partner and be or stay in a relationship.

Avicenna · Answer

It's always been the case that some can't. Some people, both men and women, simply are not dateable, sorry to say. And if someone is single, it may also mean that they can't find someone compatible. Finally, some people are just too picky.

Anonymous · Answer

Well technically any guy can a get a girlfriend. I could get on hinge and be engaged two weeks from now…. to an unattractive woman I have no physical interest in.

I’m not unrealistic. Not waiting for someone who is out of my league. Not blind to my own faults.

But I make a six digit income, own my own house, am a college grad, a former pro athlete (mma), exercise everyday, have a full head of hair and I volunteer often. I still got a visible six pack.

What I want is someone at least semi comparable to my league. But this is what I’ve encountered in the last few years:

Women who are looking for “saviors”
Women who think they still do friendzone bullsh*t. Yes I am a genuine nice guy. I hated that about myself for a very long time but I just accept. But I am not dumb enough to fall for that crap. Hell no. Fuck no. However the fact that some grown ass women STILL think they can get away with that crap is nuts.
Women who think I will be their sugar daddy. At least some of these women are young and attractive (and they banged me for free in the beginning). Still though no thanks. No. It’s a lot easier and more simple to get a prostitute if I need to. At least those women are ironically more honest.

Anyway yes guys need to get their shit together as best as they can. But tbh I think that at least 75% of the single, lonely and frustrated men out there nowadays would have been happily married in a different time era.

Modern feminism has changed the game on this. Not using that as a cop out. But the standards keep getting risen for men and lowered for women. But this so called “freedom” feminists keep exposing ultimately destroys women too in the long run. The vast majority of women weren’t meant to be single and childless their entire lives.

EricSummer · Answer

For some it is really difficult and they may have been trying for a long time. The most common reason is shyness. The guy may also be very short or excessively ugly. He could be broke or have visible disabilities. He may be on the autistic spectrum or have a speech impairment. If a guy has insane beauty standards himself, he may stand in his own way, too.

For about 10% of men in is objectively very tough, even though for most guys it is perfectly manageable to get a girlfriend. It is certainly no problem for the average guy.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Most of them are sitting on their butts staring at their phone, hoping miss right will magically knock on their door. Any man can find a woman, despite what the cry-baby trolls might say.

Lionman95 · Answer

Because it takes two people to get into a relationship. Only if a guy and a woman that are interested in each other something like love can develop. Both need to work on themselves to be attractive for the other sex but a relationship is nothing mechanic. There is no to-do list that guarantees a guy a relationship and vice versa a lot of it is also chance and luck since in a world where many people expect perfection you need a person that ignores some imperfections.

Some guys have it easier than others with dating and also changing character and lifestyle is easy for some and harder for others because not every guy has a mentally strength like David Goggins.

patrick994 · Answer

First of all, in part what you say may be true and in part not, women are quite pretentious nowadays, if you notice on social networks or dating apps they do a lot of skimming, it's not enough to look average, but you have to have something more (be handsome, tall, with a good body, have a good career) obviously in real life even if you approach them in a polite way, they ignore you or even treat you badly, in Italy where I live the situation is like that, I don't know about the United States or other countries.

madhatters4 · Answer

because i think as humans we tend to land on extremes. if a guy is good at getting women someone will say "man that guy gets ALL the girls" and if someone struggles to get a date they say "man i can't ever find a woman"

my general opinion is in this world for the vast majority of us there is someone out there for us. we as humans just tend to land on extremes in our characterization of scenarios

I'm having the worst day

this is the best pizza

she's the hottest girl on the planet

Sonorous · Answer

Many reasons. I'd say that probably the biggest one is that they probably aren't putting a lot of effort into being desirable to women that could be attracted to them. They might not understand how to balance the scale.

For instance, Jeremy Meeks could have no job, beat cats & dogs for a living & be a predator & some women would still want to be with him because of his good genetics.

But the average guy doesn't have that privilege. Many of those dudes are average looking or maybe even below. So they've gotta balance the scale out.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

"can't get a girlfriend" doesn't equate to "no girl wants me", it equates to "no girl near me is my age, single, sober, childless, attractive, and shares my hobbies, interests, views and goals, etc.

If you need a size 10 shoe, and no store has size 10 shoes, the problem isn't you, its your area, and you can either move or shop online, and if the stores that sell them refuse to ship to your area, or won't make websites, you are either stuck relocating or walking barefoot.

Finding a match to marry is no different, you can only date a match you can find.

catarecute · Answer

i used to know a guy who used to say this about himself. i lived with him for a year and i had a huge crush on him. i made it obvious to him and it didn't pick up on it until his last day of uni. he tried to come back to the student house to see me but it was too late i was dating someone else. if a guy doesn't have a girlfriend its either because he is a dick or an idiot.

Anonymous · Answer

The modern "man" has a fragile ego and cannot accept accountability. Its always society and women to blame for their social ineptitude. They resort to labels and name calling to identify themselves, because they cannot develop their own individualism or perspective towards life. They focus on tradition rather than continual development, so there's a sense of entitlement and general lack of humility.

Naturally women find such men repulsive and annoying, but the man cannot handle this reality and it makes them angrier. So we have places like GAG for such men to vent and complain about the world while I attract all the women they can't have. i dont even have to try that hard.

So, keep it up guys!

OddBeMe · Answer

I do agree. It’s the incel-like feelings of learned helplessness. They don’t want to try so they blame the chicks.

The “founder”, per se, of inceldom…that blacked haired douche kid who killed half a dozen people in Cali hated women. And then he made videos bitching about “why don’t women like me?” He literally wrote in his manifesto how he flirted with a woman at a party whilst trying to push her off a balcony. He’s Ted Bundy and young men are following him online. Calling him the supreme god or whatever.

Mass shooters are praising him like allah before going on a kill spree. All because they don’t want to TRY to get a date. They think the women should come to them.

Sorry you need to shower and comb your hair boys then try asking girls out. And they’re not obligated, fellas.

Howdy13 · Answer

I mean, it’s pretty tough out here nowadays. A lot of miscommunication/terrible communication and a lot of unrealistic expectations. And a lot of not wanting to settle for something they’re not into, to which is very understandable.

But at the same time, gotta learn how to play the game lol. Crying about it ain’t gonna help, gotta learn how to adjust. So i understand your point.

exitseven · Answer

A lot of guys are so uninteresting or lacking any social skills or any shred of ambition or talent that even if they are good looking they ate totally undatable

IcyOJ · Answer

A little more optimism from me: you just gotta make some changes. Ask girls why they don’t like you repeatedly until you figure it out… most girls are too pussy/coy to admit why they’re not into you… or they’re afraid of coming off rude even tho it’s usually the opposite of what happens by being left in the dark….. although I don’t believe anyone rational person could be completely “in the dark” when it comes to ourselves, the way we look, the way we talk, the way we act, the clothes we wear, the car we drive, where we live those are all things we can somewhat change or fully upgrade/change… change all your weaknesses to your strengths. It won’t be easy… but if you want a girlfriend you’ll do it… or you might find you’d rather hook with girls at the clubs/bars/dating apps first for a while. But if you want girls make the effort if it’s worth it for you.. or else be happy being alone jacking off forever either way make the choice you fully want long term… and be proud of. Own it

JDavid25 · Answer

A lot of guys just don't take the time, get themselves even a little together, and put themselves out there.. I've seen a lot of fuddy duddy looking guys with decent looking women.. There's also a decent amount of lonely women out there who also wants to find a decent guy..

SolitarySolace · Answer

Because women have too high of standards. Even those who claim they don’t. Men just want someone attractive and attractiveness varies depending on the guy’s interests. But women all want something specific. The 666 rule. 6ft, 6 figures, 6 pack. I don’t even bother chasing women. Haven’t in almost 9 years now.

MarshmalowTreats · Answer

It's easier to curse the darkness, than to light a candle.

When I think of dating, I always think of the show "Little House On The Prairie."

How the hell did they do it? lol I guess you went to the barn dance?

Anonymous · Answer

"Why do some men say that they can't get a girlfriend?"

Because they can't?

Jesus christ, are you a woman and thus incapable of understanding the plain simple unambiguous way men communicate?

They say they can't get a woman because they can't get a woman.

Nowhere in that does it say it is or isn't their fault. (Even though yes it probably is.)

ta-ra · Answer

😂😂very well said @MountainGuy44. Yes people make it harder than it is. Get up, get out and find real people! Social media is not where it is at.

Anonymous · Answer

What they actually mean is they can't effortlessly get this insanely out of league girl that he thinks other guys easily get.

Sharkstealth · Answer

I think I personally just back away from relationships now because of my age. I'm not going to give any girls children.

One thing I notice on here is girls who say they are more patient but also say they reject guys who don't have porn star attributes. For instance body qualifications or sexual performance. The women I see on here agreeing are the same gals who go by these conditions.

Chthou95 · Answer

Because a lot of men can't mr clueless. a lot of men are just not capable of getting one and a lot have tried. Sometimes it's not their fault but its not women's fault either. That's life. Some people will be successful, others won't. They sure as shouldn't be simps though. That shit won't help them either

serious · Answer

That is unfortunately true. Some men actually cannot get a girlfriend because they don't know what to do and they don't have the skills either.

Not only that there can be many other factors and reasons for the same.

Anonymous · Answer

Most guys can. What most guys mean is they can't get a girlfriend they'd want to have. The same goes for women. Most women can find a man that would be everything she's looking for. But she's just not feeling him.

Most people do not want relationships regardless of thier claims. They want thier ideals met.

CatVader · Answer

Privately i can't cause i don't wanna accept the way id have to go about it.
I don't see it as moral.. I could be a fboy. but i don't wanna be so no girlfriend for me.
it's a choice based on life situation.

Anonymous · Answer

Once you hit 30 without a single long term relationship, the possibility of even getting into a relationship seems bizarre and alien.
I’m not even socially awkward, I have friends, career, good shape, average looking. But I don’t even know where to start and I don’t even know it’s worth it.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

My Friend, I don't worry if I can get or can't get a woman, shit happens, If I remain single well it just so happens... Take care :)

Luopio27 · Answer

It goes like this. The more shallow a person is, the smaller his chances becomes.  Those who are not shallow, will never walk alone!

sheikalana · Answer

Some men are not as attractive and good looking as others. It can be a struggle for some to find a partner.

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

It's the guy. There are plenty of good single women. Learn how to say hi to a woman and have a conversation without being a creep.

JimmyjamesB · Answer

I've tried but unfortunately I find it really hard to talk to women so I don't bother. And if someone does look at me I can't look at them
It's a never ending vicious cycle of doom.
But I don't think there's anything wrong with my personality or charisma.
I just don't think anyone would want me , and being in a narcissist relationship will do that

inhua · Answer

by that logic if someone has faced a lifetime of racism, it's not the racist people who are the problem. it's the person receiving the racism who is the problem

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah I felt this way for some years now it's like it's always the man's fault but never the woman's fault, a lot of people say it's because women innately have value for just being born but men have to prove they have value or have to earn their value or build and create value for themselves

Anonymous · Answer

I mean you are right, most average guy who can put in decent effort won't find it that hard

If you are a big fat bob weighing 350 pounds all fat, you have no right to blame others for not getting a girl

007kingifrit · Answer

things like instagram have raised women's arrogance to the point of thinking they have unlimited options and unrealistic standards. it might be the men not living up to those standards... but women shouldn't have those standards to begin with

slatyb · Answer

It's true, they can't. Why? They are blind and deaf to the normal signals of human interaction, and they are too scared to change.

jshm2 · Answer

Pity parties.  It's the same with men and women who say they can't get a job, can't get a friend, etc etc.

DummyThiccFeraligatr · Answer

Impossible for them? No. Getting a healthy relationship with someone who actually likes and respects them? That can be very difficult, yes.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

They often want very pretty women to be with when they aren't near her level physically wise so if that's the case they are gonna have a very hard time getting a girlfriend.

Anonymous · Answer

I agree that it's men's fault if they can't get a girlfriend because they don't have anything to offer to women.

Such men may be too short, too thin, too fat, or have unhealthy skin, or no money.

If a man doesn't want a woman with these characteristics, why would he expect women to desire him?

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

You’d be amazed at how many people don’t even try.

nightowl_28 · Answer

What if a guy is just ugly and unattractive? I am no woman has ever found me attractive lol

Tonita91996 · Answer

Because they are desperate and any woman would do for them.

UnorthodoxBox · Answer

They can’t get a girlfriend that they would actually like and or get along with is really what they’re saying

zagor · Answer

It's not easy even meeting women once you're out of school. Although I admit I don't really put much effort into it...

Starrrboy · Answer

I'm starting to think most guys are just totally rizzless lol

grega239 · Answer

Because they can't. Answering your question there.

whistlingwh0res · Answer

maybe they are introverted or shy. I mean a lot of men are actually feminine you will be surprised

shades777 · Answer

cuz they just ain't ready, gotta handle business first

Anonymous · Answer

Exactly. If a man is actively trying to get a girlfriend but every woman rejects him, that means he has a personality quirk he needs to fix.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm surprised no ones mentioned natural selection. That's the sole reason a man isn't getting dates. Women think he's a loser.

LazerBean · Answer

Because they don't want to take responsibility.

HitsyHonesty · Answer

This got a lot of traffic!

Anonymous · Answer

No it's common for above average men to be incels. It's hard to get laid and I look good.

BigDog1989 · Answer

women suck balls

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Because Hoeflation is a real thing.

boobliker · Answer

they do not get out to be seen by the girls

Why do some men say that they can't get a girlfriend?

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My Friend, I don't worry if I can get or can't get a woman, shit happens, If I remain single well it just so happens... Take care :)

Why some guys seem like they will never get a girlfriend?

Why do some men say that they can't get a girlfriend?

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My Friend, I don't worry if I can get or can't get a woman, shit happens, If I remain single well it just so happens... Take care :)

Why some guys seem like they will never get a girlfriend?

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