I have been dating this guys for 9 months and he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend?

[ella_rose]

Its a hard situation and a bit complicated to explain and have tried asking my family and friends however they all throw back negative commentary to me.

i have been dating this guy for 9 months now and he has not asked me to be his girlfriend. I have meet his family, gone to family gatherings, we have expressed our love to each, everything that a couple does we have done just without a label.

however i have mentioned a few times to him about how much it would mean to me if he labeled the relationship and possibly asked me to be his girlfriend. however every time i bring it up it gets pushed aside and he says " he isn't going anywhere" and that he loves me and then the whole conversation turns into a joke so i just let it go. i have brought it up multiple times and i don't want to feel like im being pushy.

i don't know how many more times i have to ask and i am really starting to get tired and its hurting me a lot, does he not see the future of the relationship, why doesn't he want to put a label on it especially after what we have done together. I have also asked him if something happened in his past and tried to be open minded about it but he said its nothing like that.

[Anonymous]

i'm going to post this anonymous.. hopefully..

I like to ask you something. you do everything couples do and you told us that he said he loved you and is not going anywhere soon..

I noticed you used the word : " LABEL " ...

label : assign to a category, a classifying phrase or name applied to a person or thing

If you love him and he loves you. together for 9 months. doing things what a small group of people being " girlfriend / boyfriend " for even a longer period of time haven't done yet... say family gatherings.

than why is it so important to get that label? Is your relation getting better if you have one? Do you think if you post your status on facebook or where ever.. he can not leave / stolen by another woman or that it is less official? A label is just a word.. you can't feel it and it does not add anything extra to your relationship

Some people are together their whole lives , never been married. Not because they don't want to.. just because that " label " is adding nothing extra in their already perfect lifes.

And well maybe

just maybe... getting that label is scaring him off, maybe he has the feeling being " trapped " because he has the feeling you are the top priority. it does not need to be like that.. remember that :-)

[slatyb]

How often are you seeing each other? Is he seeing anyone else? Would you know if he is?

If you are dating exclusively and regularly, then you are his girlfriend. There's no question to ask. I don't get the whole notion of asking someone to be a girlfriend. I understand being asked "are you seeing anyone else?"

[ella_rose]

we see each other 2-3 times a week and no he isn't seeing anyone else

i would like to add that he has said if he didn't see the relationship being serious or taking it to the next step in the future then he wouldn't have introduced me to his family.

[Constatine]

Well and there you have your answer... He is your boyfriend !! 🥹

[Anonymous]

I would tell him either make things official with a label or you are done

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you dating with the goal of eventually being married and having children?

[ella_rose]

yes 1000%

[OlderAndWiser]

If he doesn't want to be called "boyfriend," how will he feel about being called "husband" or "daddy?"

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

^ This.

[Avicenna]

Don't let that damage your relationship. i know it's frustrating, but don't force the issue with him.

[Constatine]

Right 👍 it does not have to mean anything 😁

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

Have you been sexually involved with him?

If is taking this long, then you're getting used, or he just doesn't want to commit. Either way, I would cut your losses and move on.

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

*if he is taking

[ella_rose]

yes i am sexually involved with him but that happened 6 -7 months into dating

[DummyThiccFeraligatr]

People know within a few months whether they'd like someone to be their boy/girlfriend. If he hasn't upgraded you to that status by now (especially after sexual involvement), then you're in a situationship. This type of non-commitment won't improve in the future. He'll flake or disappoint on other matters too.

[ProbablyClueless]

Sorry to tell you this, but he hasn't asked you to be his girlfriend because he isn't planning to take you seriously. You are in the dreaded situationship zone, my friend.

[Anonymous]

Stop wasting time on that guy.

[SPIRIT208]

Ask him