Strippers at a Hen's night/Bachelorette party: what should I do?

Question

So i have a hens night next weekend with my best friend and im super excited. I know there's almost certainly going to be male strippers there and i was honest and told my boyfriend of just over 1 year. he's pretty much told me that he doesn't feel comfortable with me being around strippers and has essentially given me the ultimatum that if i go then he's pretty much done.
I honestly dont know what to do. Helllpp

abc3643 · Accepted Answer

Get rid of him.
He's too controlling.

Let me put it to you a different way...

This is a matter of trust.
He needs to trust you.
He doesn't that's why he "feels uncomfortable".
And the fact that you even "asked permission", so to speak, is a huge statement to him that he SHOULD trust you.
If you were my girlfriend or wife, I'd say "Sure. Have fun."

Now, I will say this: I do understand perhaps a different reason... Insecurity.
His perspective is that you may see these very good-looking and likely well-hung strippers and then come home to him and feel disappointed.
Again, this is a trust issue - but this is trust in the relationship overall.
While is insecurity is somewhat justified, he also needs to grow up a bit. There will ALWAYS be a better looking guy... He needs to understand and deal with that and that a relationship is more than just about looks.

However, I do not like ultimatums.
That's me.
You give me an ultimatum, you are gone. Period. I will not give you power over me and you need to trust me. Me accepting your ultimatum means making myself your slave to appease your insecurity.
I don't want a partner who is insecure.

So, to me, he should go.

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

Good for him. I hope he stands his ground and dumps you. He should just dump you for even wanting to leave him home and to go pay some male model/dancers to grind on your and hump you and to have you lick whip cream off of them.

Any man would standards and values and class... who wants a high quality, devoted, classy, faithful women would not give women who do what you are lusting to do a second thought.

He is weakly giving you a chance to repress your lust and to pass on this whorish behavior. Even though you've shown you want this "I'M SUPER EXCITED", so you've proven there is a thread of disrespect and disloyalty hiding in you there that will find it's way out some other time in the future so even if he chooses to stay with you now you've proven already you'll crack later.

OP's boyfriend... here are the words of wisdom. Leave her for even trying to go do this and for her wanting to and expecting you go accept such levels of disrespect. Leave her. Go find you an honorable woman.

Реrverted_Сreeр · Accepted Answer

Hen's night, oh Hen's night, Where inhibitions take flight. Male strippers in sight, Make men like him take fright.

But fear not, dear Courtney X, For I'll give you some tips on how to flex. On your man, who thinks he's in charge, When really, his cock is quite small at large.

First, remind him of all the times, He's checked out girls with fine behinds. At the mall or a club, it's all the same, Objectifying bodies, it's a fucking game.

Then tell him to chill the fuck out, You're not about to whip it about. A little teasing and harmless fun, Won't make you a cheater, under the sun.

If he still insists on being a prick, Then tell him to suck it, lickety-split. You deserve a man who trusts your moves, or else I'll report him to @wilmareportu for you. ﾠ

mermaidrocketship · Accepted Answer

I think the concept of paying someone to take their clothes off is dehumanizing and wouldn’t want a partner to participate in it. I would have the same boundary as your boyfriend, but it depends on what you want to do and how much you value his input. Are you ok with his boundary? Do you feel like he’s controlling in other aspects of the relationship? Are you comfortable with strippers? Is there a compromise you can make so that you can support your friend while respecting your boyfriend’s wishes?

OlderAndWiser · Answer

How would you feel if he was going to a boys' night with female strippers?

Anonymous · Answer

To me this shows he has zero trust in you. Watching strippers in real life is no different to watching actors and actresses get naked in movies.

I say go to the hens night. She is your best friend. A friend who likely has been there long before your boyfriend came along and she will likely still be there long after he is gone.

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

If he doesn’t trust you, he doesn’t trust you. I had a girlfriend go to a brides party with strippers. Agreement was if anything happens we talk about it. Long story short, several girls took turns blowing a stripper. She said they laughed and coaxed each other on. Well it was her turn in the circle and he let her know he was about to cum. Her tits were bare like everyone else so he shot on her tits. Couple of the girls tasted her tits. Her friend sent her pictures and we kept them for a long time. I don’t feel she cheated at all. We would talk about it during our sex from time to time.

purplepoppy · Answer

Tell him to piss off your his partner not his property. He sounds a controlling little shit. Make it clear it's a harmless hen night and its not like their running a train on you and at worse you'll give a couple of blowjobs

laurieluvsit · Answer

You need to find a guy that will love you for who you are, not who he would like you to be.

If you stay in a relationship like that you will be on train tracks heading for disaster.

Fail to heed my warning at your own risk!

Strippers at a Hen's night/Bachelorette party: what should I do?

Fireguy17 · Answer

Sure he can and has gone to a strip club but you can't.
What does he think you are going to have sex with the guy?
What a moron.
He is missing a great opportunity, hopefully you will get all wound up and need some relief when you get home and ride him like a rented mule, but it looks like that ship has sailed.
Go, have fun, if he can't get over it then it's his problem, not yours.

lilylangley · Answer

Babes… tell him to get stuffed!!! He obviously has trust issues. Unless you’ve done something you shouldn’t have in the past then he’s got no ground to stand on. Think of it like this, has he ever gone to a bachelor party and came home acting like everything was normal. I bet money that he had his dick sucked by a stripper at least, and not told you when he got home. So what if a stripper snogs and gropes you while you’re at a bachelorette party, it’s only a bit of fun.

lightbulb27 · Answer

If you love... and more ipmortantly, respect your boyfriend, you will make the self sacrafice and do as he says, because it protects his feelings and provides security in the relationship.

If you love yourself, then go have your play date with your girlfriend. If you choose this one, tell your boyfriend to dump you first, that you aren't ready for a relationship.

Lynx122 · Answer

You're 30 and this is a tough question for you? Either you have a good relationship and you care about your partner and this will not be a big deal to compromise on or the relationship is not good already and this is just an opportunity to end it.

The fact that you're so unsure about what to do means you don't care about him or you're just a shit partner or both.

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

If he's telling you he doesn't want you seeing strippers but goes to strip clubs himself, then he's an insecure hypocrite and you should dump him. If he's against  all  stripping in general and doesn't want either of you seeing strippers (for whatever reason), and you love him, then you should seriously consider respecting his request, since he's talking about  equal  expectations for  both  of you. Either way, it's completely up to you.

Lliam · Answer

Your boyfriend sounds insecure. He also doesn't trust you, which means he doesn't love you because love is anchored in trust. Plus, if he's willing to dump you, he obviously doesn't love you.

You trusted him enough to tell him about the upcoming hen party. Now he's acting like a petulant child and pulling this boss-man routine.

I wouldn't let someone give me an ultimatum. At this point, I'd go to that party as a matter of principle.

Giddyup · Answer

If your OK with the idea of going, then I don't understand the issue. Maybe this is your sign.

However if you were a little more established in your relationship, say married, it might be best for both parties to avoid such unless it was a special event like a Bachelorette party.

Thing with all of this is trust. Are you going to do something you wouldn't want your partner to do?

provokeesmokee · Answer

Cancel the strippers, or accept the consequences. How is cancelling something that makes your FIANCÉ uncomfortable with you a hard choice? I feel sorry for him.

bowenw · Answer

You should be free to go to the party and have fun with the other girls watching the strippers. If your boyfriend feels threatened by that, it's his problem. To me it's a sign of a controlling personality that may get worse over time.

Anonymous · Answer

Enjoy watching but remember everyone has a phone these days so don't get photographed or videoed with a big dick in your mouth or being f*cked by a well hung stud. My boyfriend hit the roof when someone spread around a picture of me with a big dick close to my face.

swettannie · Answer

he has zero trust in you. girl, enjoy your life

OfMiceandMen · Answer

If you've given him no cause to be that alarmed, then he needs to grow up. If he goes to the strippers with his friends once in awhile, then he's pretty much a hypocrite.

Lisia · Answer

Would you like it if he was around female strippers? I understand him, I wouldn't like it either and find it a reason to break up.

LoverOfBooty23 · Answer

I can understand him being uneasy about it but if he trusts you then there should be no ultimatum given. If he doesn’t trust you… then there is no sense continuing the relationship. You are a gorgeous girl… there are plenty of guys out there for you.

exitseven · Answer

Really? I am suspect of every guy in the world but I would have no problem with this. There is a very low chance you will hookup with a stripper.

Finchie40 · Answer

Ask yourself how you would feel if your boyfriend was going to a female stripper party with his friends? How would you honestly feel about that? Ask yourself what is more important to you , your partner or male strippers?

Apple1996 · Answer

This seems a bit controlling. He's allowed to be uncomfortable with you going but to break up over it.. that's insane. He has serious trust issues

inhua · Answer

with gaslighting and shame tactics, all these feminists and male feminists have no proper arguments but encourage as much disrespect as possible

Nifrayu · Answer

I mean no disrespect but this sounds like a very fragile relationship. I can't imagine tell my partner that we would be done over a single event that doesn't even hurt anyone.

WhitneySnow · Answer

If he’s dumping you for that he’s not much of a boyfriend. I’m sure he sees strippers with his guy friends at bachelor parties.

Anemone978 · Answer

Well if you want to lose your boyfriend go.. If you want to keep him don't go.. it seems like a simple enough choice LOL

Staximus · Answer

Tell him to stop being an old lady. Some day one of his friends is going to have a bachelor party.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Hen’s night? You’re in a committed relationship and blowing your money on this shit? If you’re okay with him doing the same shit, your relationship is weak.

I don’t believe your profile pic. This smells like more anti-white bull shit.

KC-Sunbeam · Answer

Don't go. Don't waste any time or money on that foolishness. Instead of being an adult thing to do, it's actually juvenile. You should refrain from going, not because of your boyfriend, but because of *you*.

RedInnocent68 · Answer

Don’t fuck (or suck) the stripper. Otherwise fair game. Have fun and tell your boyfriend he’s being a twat. To be nice about it, you could take him to a strip club after as a thank you, or go beforehand to set boundaries together.

DummyThiccFeraligatr · Answer

I would break up with you too in this situation. No woman should put up with her man hanging around places with strippers, and I make the same statement about men's girlfriends / wives.

northerngal · Answer

Hmmmm... well if your boyfriend does not trust you and gives you ultimatums maybe you need a new boyfriend? Sounds like trouble for sure. .

Meropatrick · Answer

Sounds like an interesting party 😂😂where do people find such parties. Ours r really boring over here

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

It's upto you then, if you want to break up with him then go because he has already set his boundaries and if you break his boundary he will not take you seriously

LiamJHayden · Answer

I personally avoid bachelor parties of a similar nature because I have zero interest in seeing someone I do not know or care about stripping off her clothing. But you should do what you want to do.

Katie1964 · Answer

Decide which is more important to you and go with that.

stratford · Answer

Sounds like just a bit of fun. I suppose you could consider how you would feel if he went to strip club and had a lap dance?

dolemite58 · Answer

the fact you call it a hen’s night is so awesome 😂 it’s not like you have to do anything with the strippers. male strippers are usually gay anyways.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I find male strippers totally overrated, but that is just me.

JesseP1nk · Answer

Would you be ok if HE goes out with and hangs out with female strippers? If you are - then you can tell him he can go out to female strippers too.

Anonymous · Answer

Men are such hypocrites🙄 your boyfriend and every boy on this site. If you were a guy their answers would be very different.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

If you don't know the correct answer, it means you want to go. If you want to go, you don't deserve a boyfriend, so you should break up.

Twalli · Answer

Tell your friend that your boyfriend doesn't feel comfortable with you going to the party with male strippers. That or break up with your boyfriend. If she's actually your friend, she won't be mad

nawtee_me · Answer

If after a year he can not trust you then you two don’t need to be together anyway. Trust is the bases of a good relationship and without it, it just won’t work out

gorydetails · Answer

You skip the strippers or get used to single life. Seems pretty cut and dry.

Wise4myage · Answer

Good grief, he's acting like he's your father.

RingOfFire · Answer

Priorities: #1 Boyfriend #2 Friend

Iron_Man · Answer

It’s quite simple don’t go that’s nothing but trouble

KrakenAttackin · Answer

If you respect your relationship you won't go. Wound you be OK with him going to a party with a bunch of strippers?

Jerre · Answer

If he gives you that ultimatum now, what will he tell you if your married. I would find another guy.

msc545 · Answer

Just don't go. I think your relationship with your boyfriend should be worth more to you than one night with some girls and a bunch of strippers.

Anonymous · Answer

If the claw was on the other foot, would u be?

Anonymous · Answer

try stripping for your boyfriend. See if you change his mind

Brady · Answer

Don't go, don't b like the men n women who don't respect their significant others.

Anonymous · Answer

He’s afraid of what you might do based off of what he would do if it was female strippers.  Why does a hens nights consist of strippers to begin with? Can’t go have fun other ways?

boobliker · Answer

sorry to hear that thats bad as you can bet there are femail strippers at his night out

jjj101010 · Answer

He seems to be insecure, have u been to a strip club/show before?

Anonymous · Answer

If you don't care about your boyfriend's feelings then go there and suck some cocks. He doesn't deserve a girlfriend like you.

Anonymous · Answer

Strippers are a brainwashing ideea from movies and media, listen to your heart

coachTanthony · Answer

LOL hilarious

Strippers at a Hen's night/Bachelorette party: what should I do?

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