My boyfriend has changed since unemployment what should I do?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has been unemployed for 5 months and he has stopped being caring towards me. Examples he won't cut the porch light on for me so when I come home after work at night I have to walk in the dark. He won't clean the house. He won't acknowledge me when I come home he stays on his video game. He won't sleep in the same bed as me, we don't have sex.

I'm at my wits end. I sat down and talked with him about it 2 months ago and he said that he wakes up everyday angry and that maybe things will change when his boss calls him back to get his old job but it's been 5 months and no call back.

Updates

+1 y

I finally had enough and asked his family what I can do to help him and they said he's upset with me because he's supposed to go back to work as soon as his boss gets back from Alabama and our house is dirty and he is worried if he goes to work all week he will come home to a dirty house he also said that I let him starve but money is tight right now I only make 14.50 and have a wage garnishment out against me and the savings I have are being saved for a down payment on a house for us

Updates

+1 y

Added note right before I got fed up and called his family I sent him a few job applications I found that suited his work skills that I did research for instead of saying thanks babe he sent me laughing emojis and I asked him what was funny he never told me why.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn, that sounds rough. Unemployment can really mess with a dude's head, make him all moody and depressed. And I get being angry waking up everyday still jobless.

Few things you could try:

- Remind him you're there to support him, this low patch won't last forever. A kind word goes a long way when spirits are down.

- Ask if he wants to get out the house, do an activity to take his mind off things. Fresh air and distraction helps.

- For chores, try making it a team effort. "Hey babe, let's tackle this together." Working as a unit lifts morale.

- Spice things up in the bedroom. A fun surprise might bring back that spark and closeness you used to have.

- Direct him to job sites, see if any of his homies know of openings. Action eases anxiety better than stagnation.

Give it some more time. His mood should lift once work's sorted. Till then, patience and bonding activities. A problem shared is a problem halved, right? Stay strong sis, this too shall pass.

[Asker]

I talked to him about his boss again today and he said that no he hasn't heard from him. I explained that I ask him because I'm worried about him that he deserves a job he will like and that I don't like seeing him depressed. He didn't say anything back to me he just sat there quiet

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw man, that's really lame of him to just sit there quiet when you were trying to talk about something so important. Sounds like he's really struggling with the whole unemployed thing and not handling it well at all.

When you said you were worried about him and wanted him to find a job he likes, that was really caring of you to say. Too bad he didn't say anything back to show he appreciates your support. Maybe he's just too down in the dumps to open up right now.

I'd give him a bit more time since you've already talked to him about it before, but if he stays all mopey and uncommunicative you might have to be straight with him. Like tell him you're his girlfriend and you just wanna help, but the silent treatment crap isn't gonna fly. He needs to start pulling his weight around the house too if he's home all the time.

Maybe try doing something fun together, even if it's just watching a movie or playing video games, so he can get his mind off stuff for a bit. Hope he cheers up soon, unemployment sucks but he can't take it out on you!

[boggboss]

So decide what your willing to put up with he didn't even tell u things will get better he said they might he is taking u fir a mug and u are allowing him

[Anonymous]

Ditch him, he's a f**kin' albacore around your neck

[abc3643]

He needs to look for new work.

[riverrat3]

He needs to go out and get a job, any job

[riverrat3]

sounds like he will always blame you, move out

[Asker]

I own the lease he's not on it. Tomorrow I'm calling his sister to come get him

[riverrat3]

he is doing nothing and blaming you foe a dirty home while he is not working, you did right, send him packing