My boyfriend of 5 months just decided to end his relationship with me. Although we weren't together for that much, I still can not see how a man can abruptly, through text make a decision like that.
---- He decides to break it off with me like this, and doesn't even answer after I describe my vulnerable state.
I knew his Job was a big change, but I never expected it to prompt him into this brusque decision. He now works for RSM as an auditor. A high end job, that pays about 80 grand for starters and about 130 plus in a year more, tops.
He started a month ago... then after a week, he is offered 15 grand if he passes his CPA exam. An exam he took last Saturday.. 11/21/2015
I didn't see him the week prior since he felt a need of sacrifice to study all weeked for the big exam.
He calls me when he was finished with his Test, coughing with a congested mucus relief manner.
He is sick with the flu, and says he'd rather stay home and rest up to get better.
Then It's a sudden break up text...
I'm at disbelief...
Can a man really feel that much stress from his new job that he all abruptly feel the need to end his relationship with his new girlfriend?
And could there be a pattern with him, since he also broke up with his previous ex because he was busy finishing up his masters degree in accounting and his part time job?
I know we're young , but if he could ever let me talk to him in conversation.. because there IS NO CLOSURE yet.
My Boyfriend broke up with me because of his new job?
A Loser in Love which means an Even Bigger Loser in life here, dear. With his High End job, he is picking out the Best from the Rest and Now is putting you on his low totem pole, which I find A Disgrace to his Face. However, in between the Exam and the Mucus Excuse, he has probably had this planned for some time now, in the back of his mind, and was waiting for the Right time to let you down Not so Easy. This High monkty monk job has not only gone to his head but the Flu as well, when he was in bed, thinking ways To... Abruptly feel the need to end his relationship with his new girlfriend. Move on and forget him, don't even send Anymore messages. His Own low class Ones, which Consisted of Only Pushing buttons on his own End to End your relationship, shows me the Writing on the wall and all, that he is this Cold Flu Pack that is Even Capable of finding sneaky ways to climb to the Top. Knowing that he is wet behind the ears in years as well, should give you Some... Closure to Close this chapter of your life. And it seems he has this Problem Pattern of making this a dirty habit, and no matter Who it is, she will get the Shaft on every Shift. Good luck. xx
What a load of shit tbh. This happened to me a month ago! Got dumped out of nowhere, by text, and like your guy he was acting like a hero like it's for the "best" and refused to meet up with me to talk things over. It was all "him him him". Girl. This is hard, but don't expect closure from this. You are probably sympathising with him like crazy right now but just don't. It's not right. Cry it out, miss him, hope he comes back but don't expect him too. With time you will see why this is so bad of him. Message me if you want to because I am still suffering from the fresh hurt of my breakup :(
He doesn't want to date you, and he's trying to provide you with excuses to satisfy you questioning as to "why", but honestly, he just doesn't want to, and he doesn't have to, don't harass him about it. He doesn't have to have a long conversation with you to give you closure or fully satisfying answers, he is at peace with his decision, so you have to stop seeking answers from him, and learn to accept the fact that regardless of WHY, you aren't going to be with him, so instead focus on something else in your life.
Someone, either in his family or at work, told him: "You better just forget about that girl. You are here to work, and make money. If you're seen talking to her here, then you don't really belong here."
I too was blackmailed once into leaving a woman I loved. Tell him you'd like to give whoever is getting in his way a piece of your mind, but that you'll honor his disposition by not getting involved directly.
If a family member, tell them how cold it is to be blackmailing their own son/nephew/whatever. If it turns out the boss said that, you don't work there. Tell the boss what a scumbag he is and that it's illegal for him to be sticking his nose that much into your ex's private affairs.
You have to do it. Your ex is in too compromised a position to do it. But don't expect him to go back to you right away. He's been traumatized by leaving you. He now fears taking you back will only invite more drama.
If he thinks you're doing it for him, assure him that's not the case. You're doing it because you believe justice needs to be served, and to enjoy his life afterward.
Perhaps. But it smells to me like someone got to him. He went through with it to keep the peace, because he's in a compromised position. He won't give you the full reasoning, because that could be traced. And if so, then he'd be in trouble for that. He believes letting you go is safer than facing his fears.
It was probably one of my close ex male friends who also is friends with him. I had a falling out with that friendship, and now he's been feeding him ideas that our relationship is keeping both of us behind on life.
Either way, I'm beginning to accept it. If he needs to focus on his career, then fine. I actually understand that, I've worked demanding jobs myself. And this being his first real job, that requires all of his focus.. its difficult to handle all when he also has a relationship to nourish.
Which he was wonderful at doing with his previous, less demanding job as a retail accountant. I would receive calls from him everyday. He would visit me, and we would spend 4 days a week together.
However the situation, and the change of job. His way of ending it, being in a text, makes me lose respect for him. Its a cheap and elusive way to end a chapter in life.
and a GREAT excuse if he is ever to ask me back. His reasoning, "but it was BAD timing, or its my job... and I'm better at handling my responsibilities now."
I'd be investigating the ex-friend third wheel. And the minute I had evidence, I'd confront. Not because it would change anything, but because I want those who need to know to see him called out for the scum he is for destroying the good thing you used to have. After that, leave both of those men to rot in the pit they have created for themselves.
As for forgiving... if you can manage to do so this easily, you have a stronger heart than my own.
I was heartbroken that my boyfriend decided to leave the relationship, so I had the Retrieve A Lover spell cast. with lord abu Within a week of the spell casting, he called "just to talk." After some pleasant talks and catching up, he asked to see me again. I felt he had started to turn around. I decided to give him a chance just to see. now we are happily married and He is absolutely crazy about me, i thank lord abu for bringing back my ex. his email: lordabutemple123 @yahoo. com
He's a coward and full of sh! t. It has nothing to do with his job, he wanted out and used the job as an excuse and didn't even have big enough balls to tell you to your face, had to do it via text. You are MUCH better off without this coward. He did you a favor honey. Don't look back, find a real man next time.
But I really do believe him that its his Job.. and him.
And I refuse to defend him.
Unfortunately I don't feel closure... and I have a sick feeling he's one of those guys that breaks up.. and then comes back.. and makes up. Without any consideration of my heart and the toll it takes. ( Which I pray to God, to guide me well in that case of scenario)
Some men thrive on self destruction and drama. They are called sadists.
Well, don't let him cause the same self destruction to you. If he comes back, tell him to kiss your a$$ and keep on moving. You already know how it will end if you take him back.
A man would never break up with a woman over a text message just because a person is over 18 doesn't make him a man their actions make them a man. If he has a history of doing this then it could be his way of finding an easy way out of a relationship, he might not want a relationship but likes having company when it's convenient for him, or it could possibly be the new job however you would think he would like to have someone to talk after a long day. You may not get closer which is bad but in the end you might find a man who treats you right and then you'll find happiness which is worth more than money.
I'll admit. He treated me like a princess. He would call me every day spend hours on the phone. Text me all the time assuring me how much he loves me. Would send me flowers, particularly, on the official day he began working for RSM,.. he actually did personally deliver a bouquet of flowers to me.
I guess the whole, talking after a long day, wouldn't be that possible. Even though I have a B. S. in Finance and would understand most of his work. He mentioned how his clients require complete confidentiality on their company audits and testings.
It's illegal for third party members such as friends and family to know any particular information.
He doesn't have to talk about clients to talk about his day there's more to the world than he clients. Stress can be a big factor there's no doubt about that and some people are not good at dealing with stress either. Hopefully it works out good for you.
Honestly no, no matter how much stress I've been in I never felt the need to end anything, I may ask I need alone time or something like that but it sounds like he's picking money over you and it's a on going issue with him picking his advancement over relationships. now that he's got a new job he feels needs a new girlfriend. For him to disrespect you lie want to try and work things and won't even do it in person no less just goes to show how much he cares. I understand the whole go separate ways but not even breaking up in person is bad I only say doing it thourgh text if the person poses a threat.
Since he has a pattern of doing this in previous relationships, I think he is the type to open doors when things are convenient to him. He strikes me as an inconsiderate person.
If someone truly wants to be with you, nothing will ever get in their way.
-Hugs- I'm sorry he broke up with you in such a cold manner but you have to carry your dignity and move forward. Although it may not seem like it , eventually you will get over him. Give yourself time to heal. Time to pick up those pieces and put them back together. When you feel whole again , then start dating others. You deserve someone who sees a relationship with you as a commitment.
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Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
I have bad news and good news for you.
The bad news: You don't need a closure. He already told you he doesn't want yo be with you anymore. He didn't take you seriously, while you clearly invested a lot of emotions in this. He was not serious about you in the first place. I can see you are trying to find excuses for him, which is a sign that he is a jerk.
I am sorry to say this, but you should not text him again. It looks needy.
The good news is: congrats- you have just been spared other 5 months of illusion. It took other women, including me, a year or years to 'wake up' and see that the guy who shows love isn't really serious about the woman he is with.
It happens a lot and it hurts, but don't make things worse for you by trying to talk to him. Only a guy who is going to be kidnapped and he knows it, or is going to compulsory army msy break up with a woman hd has been for some time.
It sounds like a cop out to be honest. You don't just end things with someone over text especially when they mean a lot to you..
It hurts but I think your feelings for him are clearly different to his. dont contact him again focus on your life and if he tries to come back which once you've lost interest he probably will then you can tell him where to go!
I'm not sure if you would understand, but, I'm in that awkward place in time where part of me wishes he would come back, but part of me realizes it would make my life even more difficult because of the risk I would run of him leaving again.
I mean, what if his dog dies? Or a family member dies?
Will he also have to leave me again, because he can't handle the stress?
As you might see... Its a very difficult time for both my heart, and my mental state. I woke up shaking this morning with little to no sleep...
I only ask for good wishes at this point... even if we're all strangers.
I thank you for the advice though... I appreciate your feedback.
I understand that you still care and probably feel confused and the fact he didn't give you real closure is probably the main reason you feel so upset. I've been in your position before which is why I responded that way but I fully get that it's still raw and feelings do not change over night..
When you know your worth and love yourself more you will understand that someone who could just walk away so easily doesn't deserve you. I wish you all the best and hope that you heal with time all the best X
Wow... that was me a few years ago... but reading it from the receiving end... WOW... i mean.. i realized later that it was bogus... but I've never actually seen any... and you tried to save it too... Girl.. you know you don't do that.. just be a boss and be like "OK"... confuse them bitches
Im so sorry for u it feels aweful even for me i really wanna cry now. U Know it may be tough but if he doesn't come back u will just have to move on , we can't have whatever we want in life and sometimes we meet the wrong people just remember that the best is yet to come u deserve better than him im sure
I personally would feel better having a girlfriend/friend or even family member to help ease the stress. Ending it in a text shows the incapability to do it face to face, which shows immaturity. With this in mind, I feel that it's his loss, not your's. I imagine you have probably been there for him in every possible need.
As you say, could be a pattern, it may be his way of dealing with such situations. I don't want to upset you more, but he has possibly moved on from you and found another, hence why it was done via text rather than speech, as it's easier to lie in a text than it is to lie verbally, as you knew him so well I presume.
Accept his silence as closure, as he is too immature to talk about it. I wouldn't end a relationship by text, But some men, like my cousin don't talk himself back into a relationship like an adult, he begs, and tries to sleep with them.
Honestly, he was completely rational in what he said but I do agree he should have done it to your face rather than a text. It seems that he was just done and didn't want you to try and change his mind, which I understand to an extent. He likely didn't respond because he knew it would create an issue.
It wasn't a noble ending but I think it is better you two aren't together.
Ok you're upset but that last message is not true you're just really emotional right now. He absolutely should have at least shown respect and broke up with you in person.
Its not possible to feel love for one person in the same essence of having loved another.
It's never possible to replicate.
Every person has a different chemical effect on every person. It's never the same.
And yes.. He should have done this in person. Highly disrespectful...
Its almost as though he wants to hold on, without the responsibility of the title. Because its enough responsibility he has to deal with RSM (I say this sarcastically)
He's either not into you anymore , just used you , or met someone else. Break ups over text are beyond immature. Stop pouring your heart out to him. Call him and leave him a message. Tell him you had the day to think about it and you agree 100% . That if if you're going to be with a man you're going to be with a MAN who doesn't conduct himself in such a juvenile manner by breaking up over a text message. Tell him you feel like you're better off without him anyways and leave it at that.
First things first... your ex is a wuss... You just don`t break up with someone through texting... that`s just disrespectful... a man can not love you if he doesn`t respect you first.. think about it :*
Bizarre. Would the motivating factor be that he has met someone (better in his opinion) than you at work? Things do happen when they get a job, they meet new people..
It's possible. I am currently in between jobs, and am looking for a better job. So a girl making that much at his Job?, then good for him. What a team! But I refuse to compete with anyone. If someone truly loves someone.. they'll always revert back to them. Now I'm not saying I have hope that he'll ever come back to me.
Because its more like a death at this point.
If he does.. then only time will tell how i'd feel.
He's looking out for himself. That's a very commendable thing. You should be proud of him for sticking to bettering himself before anything else. A lot of times men give up putting themselves first because they get with a girl.
He wasn't massively into you. He probably thought he could be but now he knows he isn't. The job thing may have helped him see it but misty it is his realisation that there isn't a future I am afraid.
Wow this is so messed up and immature from him. What kind of guys he is to break up with you just for changing his job? that's just DUMB!!! Be strong please don't message anymore..
I think he never loved you... I would never leave a beautiful women like you for a job.. If i loved you. LOL thats some bullshit...
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
He probably feels your feelings aren't a match eg: you care for him (love him) way more than he does for you and decided to end it sooner rather than later. Ending it over text kinda sucks though.
Thank you. It really is a painful moment in life.. and I'm sure I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way. Which is why I chose to reveal this to people... hoping others can relate, or at least give me a better understanding.
Thank you for refusing to hate. We all must learn to do this, I have and so have you. I know and understand this pain. It is a pain that is not easily healed. Use your pain to reflect and improve yourself. You will be okay, I'm here to support that fact.
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