Boyfriend broke up with me cause he's too busy?

[w0ahhniiccx0]

I've only been with him for about a month and a half and we were basically inseparable for that month. Now however reality is setting in cause we both go back to school, work, and he's training for the fire department. He has to go into NYC weekly for training, plus work, school, and just other stuff. He broke up with me because he doesn't think he can handle the relationship during this time. I told him I'd be super supportive and I'd understand that we won't see each other as much but he just isn't sure. He clearly still cares cause he can't keep himself away from me. He still talks to me daily and asks me to hang out, and maybe that's because he hasn't actually started any of his responsibilities yet, but I just don't get it. We act like nothing has changed. Only thing that has changed is that I don't get to kiss him whenever I want. He is "thinking" about the situation and wants a few days to figure it out and he'll let me know if we can work out and it sucks cause I'm basically in limbo and waiting around for something that might not even be positive. I have hope that he'll choose me because of how we are together still, like he still offered to help me and my family move furniture tomorrow. I just don't know if I'm waiting for heartbreak or if waiting around could be good.

[Anonymous]

Many guys feel this way, including me. So I can totally understand your guy's feelings. He does sound very busy. And my guess is, it's not just being busy that's the problem: he's probably worried about money too. He's probably thinking, "I don't have the time and money to maintain a relationship. Eventually she's going to leave me anyway because I can't give her what she wants". And then there's the fact that stress often reduces sexual desire and the fact that stress drives men into their mental cave where they want to be emotionally isolated.

Guys feel a huge amount of pressure to become successful in life, to become worthy of female love and affection. Many girls might consider a guy like yours to be a workaholic, but, if he kicked back and relaxed, many girls would accuse him of being unambitious and lazy. So guys can't win really, apart from the ones who are already rich (but many of them are extreme workaholics who have to work hard to be happy).

[masterignacio]

" He broke up with me because he doesn't think he can handle the relationship during this time " I think he tried to soften the blow and is not giving you a real reason why he wants to split up with you . I would bet his love for you faded or never was there to begin with and he had enough of you. Ask yourself " If you looked like Megan Fox or Jessica Alba would his work and school still be an obstacle " I think not . He would go out of his way to reconcile your relationship with his other responsibilities .

[confugirl]

It doesn't sound good. But you should distance yourself from him. If he can have all of you without the responsibility that comes from a relationship, then what motivation is there for him to work on a relationship? You can still hang out with him, but you have to sacrifice less for him. So you shouldn't hang out with him every time he asks you to. Also, if you had something else planned when he asks to see you, don't cancel that other plan you had. No more hugs, kisses, sex etc. Reserve those things until he decided to work on a relationship. Also, start dating other guys, because he does not deserve exclusivity from you right now.

[lamasdura88]

i feel your pain as I always end up dating the workaholic man.

you have been dating a short time so that will be easy to recover from.

as women we don't understand that men can't focus on a lot at once like we can.

give him time but def make plans to date others and before falling so fast look at what he's doing not what he is saying.

also make sure you have similar values and priorities and that they are in similar in order.

good luck. I am also in NYC if you need a talk add me on fb the link to my Facebook is on my profile here

[w0ahhniiccx0]

It's just hard to tell what goes on with him cause he still talks to me like we're together. He's just torn between what he thinks he has to do (break up with me and focus on work) and what he wants (a relationship with me). It's very evident that's what's going on and we're basically hanging out but with no label. It's extremely frustrating.

[lamasdura88]

yes they love the no label thing its a product of our disgusting society

set a strict timeline for when he has to decide and stick to it. or agree to break up and tell him to give you a call when he finishes his so called training.

because honey they will say just enough to keep you around like a dog on a leesh you do not want to be that girl I've been that girl and it sucks ass.

[Blinddo]

I am in this position right now and this is really hard, after 4 times that i asked him to tell me why he acts that stone cold recently, he told me he is too busy, i did not ask for extra time, i just asked him to have quality time with me. Then he broke up with me... He talks to me rarely... Normal behavior like we've never broke up. And that is killing me

[jslxoxo]

It sounds like he doesn't want the title "boyfriend," but wants all the benefits of it, since nothing has really changed. I'm not saying that he's using you for sex or anything. I can't tell you what to do, but if it were me, I wouldn't wait on him. It's not like yall just met or anything. Either he wants an exclusive with you or not. If he has that much time for you, obviously he's not that busy for a relationship. NO ONE is that busy. If you really want to be someone, you'll make time for them.

[Skittles_lover]

I don't think its fair for you to have to wait around and "decide" if he thinks this can work out or not. Some things you just know, you know? He knew about his obligations like school, work, etc... and that he would have to get back to it while he was dating you for a month. I think you can keep him around as a friend if you wanted to but don't pull all your eggs in one basket with him.