So I work at a hospital and have a successful career for the past 2 years. He is about a year younger than me and his career out of school did not work out as he planned and now he has been looking for new jobs, doing landscaping in the meantime. He has been lost and depressed figuring himself out and has switched career ideas 3 times within the past month. We had talked about marriage, kids, everything and he even took me to look at engagement rings. He always told me I was the one and he had no doubt in his mind. He told his family and all of his friends this as well. Everyone including his mom who i am close with and so is he was shocked when he broke up with me because it was honestly out of nowhere. Even a few days before we broke up, he was talking about marriage. Actually even during the break up, he said he still wants a future with me, but has to take the time to focus on himself and "be selfish" right now. He said he will always be in love with me but also said he does not expect me to put my life on hold and he kept saying "I know you won't be around when I am done." I am so confused because I figured he would want me by his side during this process and it hurts that he is willing to risk losing everything we had. Especially since he was always the one more invested in our relationship than i was.
Most Helpful Guy
I think he is just feeling sorry for himself and he thinks he is holding you back from your dream of getting married and having a family. For sure he needs to focus on getting some kind of career started, but I think he was just freaking out and feeling like a failure so he bailed on you. I think once he gets a chance to calm down, reboot and come to his senses, he will be calling!!!1
Most Helpful Girl
I think he feels like a failure to you. You are suceesful and have your life figured out while he still has to come up with a career. When your always by a person who is always successful in things they do and you come up the short straw can hurt a person's pride. It isn't your fault, but men are known to lose their pride and get depressed when they can't boast on something or are able to show off. I'm not saying that he is cocky or jealous, but he may be feeling like he is bringing you down and his depression may have fueled this idea. Breaking up with you may have been hard for him, but found it necessary so he doesn't drag you down with him. I don't think you should go and leave him. I think that he actually wants to be with you, but feels that he needs to straighten himself out first. If he lets you, help him out. If he doesn't, stay in touch with him and give verbal support, or if he wants space, give it to him. It may be hard, but he is depressed and needs time to get back to the person he once was. I'm sure he wants to marry you, but I'm sure he wants to do it when he has a career and can help support you like the man he is. Hope this helps :)1