My boyfriend broke up with me because he needs to focus on his career?

I was dating this guy for almost 2 years. It was an amazing relationship. We bickered some, but for the most part had a great time and were truly in love. He was always the one to tell me how amazing I was, how lucky he was to have me, and how he wouldn't know what to do if he lost me...
So I work at a hospital and have a successful career for the past 2 years. He is about a year younger than me and his career out of school did not work out as he planned and now he has been looking for new jobs, doing landscaping in the meantime. He has been lost and depressed figuring himself out and has switched career ideas 3 times within the past month. We had talked about marriage, kids, everything and he even took me to look at engagement rings. He always told me I was the one and he had no doubt in his mind. He told his family and all of his friends this as well. Everyone including his mom who i am close with and so is he was shocked when he broke up with me because it was honestly out of nowhere. Even a few days before we broke up, he was talking about marriage. Actually even during the break up, he said he still wants a future with me, but has to take the time to focus on himself and "be selfish" right now. He said he will always be in love with me but also said he does not expect me to put my life on hold and he kept saying "I know you won't be around when I am done." I am so confused because I figured he would want me by his side during this process and it hurts that he is willing to risk losing everything we had. Especially since he was always the one more invested in our relationship than i was.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think he is just feeling sorry for himself and he thinks he is holding you back from your dream of getting married and having a family. For sure he needs to focus on getting some kind of career started, but I think he was just freaking out and feeling like a failure so he bailed on you. I think once he gets a chance to calm down, reboot and come to his senses, he will be calling!!!

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    • I totally agree. For now I have been giving him space to clear his head and think about what he really wants to better himself. I've been moving on to protect myself emotionally but deep down I am still in love with him and know he will be back. I just hope it isn't too late.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think he feels like a failure to you. You are suceesful and have your life figured out while he still has to come up with a career. When your always by a person who is always successful in things they do and you come up the short straw can hurt a person's pride. It isn't your fault, but men are known to lose their pride and get depressed when they can't boast on something or are able to show off. I'm not saying that he is cocky or jealous, but he may be feeling like he is bringing you down and his depression may have fueled this idea. Breaking up with you may have been hard for him, but found it necessary so he doesn't drag you down with him. I don't think you should go and leave him. I think that he actually wants to be with you, but feels that he needs to straighten himself out first. If he lets you, help him out. If he doesn't, stay in touch with him and give verbal support, or if he wants space, give it to him. It may be hard, but he is depressed and needs time to get back to the person he once was. I'm sure he wants to marry you, but I'm sure he wants to do it when he has a career and can help support you like the man he is. Hope this helps :)

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    • Thank you so much for responding. I completely agree with you. Right now I've been giving him the space he needs.

    • Ok, that's good. At this moment, when he reaches out, you need to show that your willing to help. I'm not saying wait at the phone, but allow him to know that he hasn't lost you. And your welcome :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • I think he's giving you an option like go if you want to leave... cuz now I'm standing on my feet.
    successful relationship doesn't contain a lot of promises like... marriage talking, kids names or fake engagement show... but it contain (actions speak louder than words.
    don't be just an option in his life... just give yourself priority to control your heart and your mind.

    Good luck...

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  • I'm guessing he found someone else and this was his half hearted attempt to break things off. But even if he didn't, he has to live with his choices, be they right or wrong. It's sad that it happened, and I do feel for you. But he's in a different place right now.

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  • it sounds like he is hurt. he doesn't want to hinder you because you are doing so good on your own. so maybe he wants to better himself and them come back for you. but you should let him know that you are there for him.

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  • He feels like he's just dragging you along with thus process of finding himself and doesn't want to waste your time cuz its not fair to you. Really the ball is your court. You can say no I'm staying with you cuz I love you or simply take the break up as for real. The dude seems lost right now. He needs some guidance. Its time for you to step up and help him out as a supportive girlfriend.

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  • move on.. he's doing it for his good.. you do it for your own good

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  • Life goes on , people change, get on with it =D

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