My boyfriend broke up with me because he “doesn’t want a relationship” and “wants to focus on his career”, is he full of crap?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been dating 9 months. I should’ve known from beginning that something was up since it took him more than 6 months to ask me to be his girlfriend. We had a great relationship other than a couple red flags (lying about small things, shady stuff, bad communication). He ended up telling me that he doesn’t want a relationship right now, that he’s just not a relationship type of a guy and that he’d rather put all his focus into his career and money. I was pretty hurt but he said he still would like me to be in his life if I want to, but every time we hang out he tries to treat me like his girlfriend and even gets jealous when I talk about other guys. Am I wasting my time being friends with him and should cut him off? Or could he maybe want me in the future? Or is he just keeping me around and using me? He said he still loves me so much and I know he loves me but I still feel so stupid but I love him so much and don’t want to lose him

[serious]

I will answer in parts:

1. "We’ve been dating 9 months. I should’ve known from beginning that something was up since it took him more than 6 months to ask me to be his girlfriend. We had a great relationship other than a couple red flags (lying about small things, shady stuff, bad communication). He ended up telling me that he doesn’t want a relationship right now, that he’s just not a relationship type of a guy and that he’d rather put all his focus into his career and money. "

Well, if he was like that then he should have never got into a relationship with you so it is his fault only. This isn't fair to you also

2."I was pretty hurt but he said he still would like me to be in his life if I want to, but every time we hang out he tries to treat me like his girlfriend and even gets jealous when I talk about other guys. "

If he gets hurt and jealous then it means he still likes you and loves you.

3.."Am I wasting my time being friends with him and should cut him off? Or could he maybe want me in the future? Or is he just keeping me around and using me? He said he still loves me so much and I know he loves me but I still feel so stupid but I love him so much and don’t want to lose him"

Well, those are your feelings and so only you can get a hold of them. You must and you need to. The best thing I can suggest is you should cut off all contact with him because otherwise it will just mess everything up.

[melnc]

He's not serious or honest about what he's saying. The guy you’re dating could be dating multiple people at the same time, and you may not be the frontrunner. Once you realize why he's keeping you around, you can decide for yourself whether you should kick him to the curb or step up to try and make a relationship happen... If you don't mind be his tool.

[The_Other]

I wonder...
Ask him if he feels/felt pressured in to asking you to be his girlfriend.
(I'm only making this assumption based on the way you've put it)
Maybe he's having a hard time with his career because he has to focus on you all the time?
My girlfriend sometimes won't let me breath while im trying to do work and stuff for myself, are you similar to my girlfriend in that regard?
What could he possibly be using you for?

[Asker]

Sex, companionship, I don't know anything I suppose. I know he loves me but he could still be using me if he knows we aren’t going to last

[MannMitAntworten]

Ex-girlfriend pulled the same stunt but her reasoning was she ‘needed’ to be alone and single longer. Meh

[NATRAL]

😂 damn I said the same shit before but I said it as a reason I can’t date her.

[Gedaria]

You could be right...