What to do post first date - ask why it’s short or ghost him?

[Anonymous]

Our first date went really well… we spend 3 hours… we even hold hands most of the night and did sweet pecks for kisses… he has been texting me like maybe once per hour but it seem short and dry… not sure if he’s losing interest. What do I do? Do I ask if he’s not a texter or have him call me? Do I ghost? I don't know what to do and why if he’s losing interest …

[Sofargone93]

you just saw each other... it's supposed to be dry. Do you expect him to talk about the same thing you guys just did or make up some random topic he's not really interested in the keep you interested. You're over thinking it. You will see him tomorrow. 😅. Calm down.

[Asker]

I’m confuse, did he lost interest or no? Well dry texting feels like a loss of interest… and no we haven’t discuss another date plan yet

[Sofargone93]

No he didn't lose interest just because he's dry texting you. He's probabably on his own little world doing his own thing. If you are so curious about him why don't you ask him how he feels about everything... Don't just ghost him because you're feeling insecure that is shady and will make him think he dodged a bullet. Don't be that girl. Use your words and get to the point. Stop over thinking it just because you like him. You'll mess up a good thing ❤️

[Asker]

LOL thanks for the tough love and encouragement, I just asked him how he feels about our date and me 🫡🙈😂 what does a guy usually prefer after a first date if they’re still texting and he’s being a dry texter? Lol

[Asker]

All he said was that he’s excited to keep getting to know me and asked what I thought of everything lol

[Sofargone93]

See there. Easy 😉

[Asker]

I thought the same.. I brought up a phone call. He was cute to send me an audio message that we can work something despite he gets off work at night. I sent a cute good morning how it made me smile and suggest a time tonight. He literally did not respond all day until at night when he was almost off that we could “possibly” do it… I felt like wow… I’m such a low priority… and it’s just “possibly” like isn’t this just hella mind games even after a good first date? I’m disappointed… like it’s just not attractive despite I like him and wanna know him better, but it’s discouraging cuz I want authenticity and not feel like neglected/last thing on his list… :/ so I just didn’t reply… I feel like I’m settling for less unless he steps up.

[Sofargone93]

You're rushing... He'll probably move on to be honest. If I was dealing with a woman who was acting like you I'd be turned off.. like damn can I live my life without you feel mistreated. That was one date chick. Get over yourself.

[Uby10000]

You can try a call to see if he is more talkative. Also it's the beginning so keep chilling

[Asker]

I brought it up. He was cute to send me an audio message that we can work something despite he gets off at night. I sent a cute good morning how it made me smile and suggest a time tonight. He literally did not respond all day until at night when he was almost off that we could “possibly” do it… I felt like wow… I’m such a low priority… and it’s just “possibly” like isn’t this just hella mind games even after a good first date? I’m disappointed… like it’s just not attractive despite I like him and wanna know him better, but it’s discouraging cuz I want authenticity and not feel like neglected/last thing on his list… :/ so I just didn’t reply… I feel like I’m settling for less unless he steps up.

[Uby10000]

He didn't respond for the rest of the day meaning he didn't reply to your questions or simply stopped? If you don't mind you can message me to tell me the details

[Asker]

Yeah he didn’t reply to my morning message when I suggested a time after his cute audio message. So he literally did not reply to me all dayyyy until at night…8pm around time he was about to leave work 1.5 hour later. So yeah I felt really neglected in a way of like wow he did not think of me… and only put me as the last thing of the day… to only say “possibly” and how he’s almost off work. I’m sure he could’ve text me during his breaks. Idk… isn’t this just hella mind game?

[Uby10000]

I'm very sorry... I hope he wasn't doing that but I am not sure either...

[Asker]

I’m just disappointed cuz I like him but I feel like this is like below bare minimum… I don’t understand modern dating why is this acceptable ☹️ and then when other guys go fast pace on me is also consider love bombing and toxic too sigh lol. Well he just message me again if I’m up… so I guess I’ll reply…

[Uby10000]

Maybe...

[Asker]

Sorry, maybe what?

[Uby10000]

I honestly have no idea how to handle this situation, on one hand you could try to make the first move and ask him out or you wait a bit for him to make a move on him. Games aside, you need to make him understand what you feel, if he doesn't care so be it

[Asker]

Thanks for being honest! We did went on one date. It was really cute, we had a good time! We hold hands most of the night and had a sweet kiss. But I don't know his texting after our first date just hasn’t been like the greatest feeling in my opinion... I don't know how to handle it either… it’s strange to me lol. I’m sure he knows I’m interested…. I’m always flirty and he was pretty flirty during our date too lol. I just don’t know if he’s just playing mind games or it’s making me wonder if he’s even looking for serious as he claims?

[Uby10000]

Oh if that's the case he could also be afraid to make wrong moves on you

[Asker]

Oh, so he’s just been playing it safe? Well we just talked on the phone, it was kinda short but just lots of laugh and he ended the call sayin he’s gonna wind down and sleep but it was fun. So I felt good, but I don't know I still don’t know how to feel about us 😂

[Uby10000]

Maybe it just takes time, keep sticking around with him I think you have a good chance to stay together

[Asker]

I hope you’re right, but if I don’t feel wanted and kinda low priority as an ongoing thing… I don’t think I’ll have the patience cuz I want someone who will be consistent and genuine… :/ so do you think he’s just playing it safe or he’s scare?

[Uby10000]

He is probably just scared

[Asker]

Oh, why scare?

[Uby10000]

of loosing you by a simple mistake

[Asker]

How to tell if he’s being scared by those reasons?

[Uby10000]

Pay more attention to his body gestures

[Asker]

Okay! Sorry I meant by text and calls lol. Well when we had our first date, he was very intentional and flirty. But yeah it just felt different after. He said our call last night was fun. But he didn’t text me today and I didn’t. So I don't know, maybe he lost interest and I want someone to take lead.

[Uby10000]

Try to text him first

[Asker]

Does guys want girls to text first? But how do I determine if a guy is scare through texts?😅 we haven’t spoke about 2nd date and I rather he bring it up if he wanna know me better

[Uby10000]

Sometimes we like the girl to text us back because is reciprocal especially if ue already made the first move

[Asker]

Hmm well our case specifically… I texted yesterday morning & suggested phone call time, he didn’t reply until night & then called me… so I thought wouldn’t he follow-up the next day text? 😅

[Uby10000]

Try to remind him that. If he doesn't seem to bother maybe he isn't interested (think of this only after you ask him for a call now, he may have simply forgot about it or avoid to sound impulsive and waiting for you to start the call)
Sometimes as men we are afraid of making steps because we are afraid of loosing the person we like so we tend to think "if she starts it then I can continue it"

[Asker]

Oh wow thanks for the insights! Actually he called me last night Lolz. He ended the call sayin he need to wind and sleep, but it was a fun short call. And he never texted me today. So I’m trying to say… if he wanted to continue, shouldn’t he had follow up with texting me today?

[Uby10000]

Yea but he doesn't want to disturb you so tell him that if he wants to do the call he can do it now since you are free

[Asker]

You’re saying he didn’t text me today because he didn’t wanna disturb me? Sighs I guess I’ll think about how I feel tomorrow if I wanna text him or let it go… I prefer someone who takes more initiative to show interest and investment… I don’t wanna feel like I’m always chasing him… I like mutual effort

[BarryLiverstone]

He may be wondering if you are into him. If all you are doing is texting him

[Asker]

So guys do that to play it safe because they don’t know how the girl feel? What would a guy prefer a girl to do after the first date if they’re still texting?