Is it understandable to be bitter, frustrated, and pessimistic?

[Anonymous]

I am inching closer to 30, and I am noticing I am looking older at this point. My youth is slipping away day by day. At the same time, I am devoid of intimacy and romantic love. I have never had a real girlfriend, and I especially have never had a serious relationship. I haven't had sex in many, many years. I can barely remember when I lost my virginity during that weekend hookup almost a decade ago. I haven't even kissed a woman since.

Meanwhile, I am seeing all these young women, thinking that I am becoming too "old" for them. It really makes me feel bad.

Even worse, I am hoping to find a decently attractive woman with the same inexperience with love as me. At this point, I am lucky to find a woman that hasn't been through the wringer, having loved multiple men in her lifetime.

I feel like I hate my life and tired of people.

[HollyK21]

You’re entitled to feeling however you want, doesn’t mean it’s understandable to an outsider and in this case I really just don’t get it. I’m pretty sure that each time you’ve posted some version of this story, somebody offers a solution and basically advises you adjust your standard, which you refuse. It’s ok to have preferences, but you want a virgin woman who lacks experience like you, which you know is hard to find in this day and age.
You could change that and be open to a woman with a romantic past since you have one as well but that’s not even an option in your books. I can’t sympathize with someone who doesn’t want to fix their problems.

[Asker]

I emphasize I have never had a real girlfriend myself. Mostly just online things where they reject me when they meet me in person. The girl I had sex with... I only saw her in person for two days. The last time I saw her was in court where I was being tried for stalking.

[HollyK21]

See, you create all these exceptions for your background and expect it to be understood/accommodated by this virgin woman but that’s just not going to happen. Doesn’t matter when you had sex — you still did, same as it doesn’t matter if you didn’t have a “real” girlfriend, these are still women who you saw potential with at one point or another. How can you ask a woman to have no marks on her history, yet you do? No offense but I can’t think of anyone who would conform to such hypocrisy. You just make it harder for yourself to find a good woman and settle down. Dating in the past doesn’t equate to being super experienced just as not being a virgin doesn’t mean she’s ran through by many men.

[Asker]

It is not creating an exception. I have never had an actual girlfriend. I never made love. It is difficult to look past a woman's exes, especially if it was young love and they made love to each other.

[HollyK21]

So because it wasn’t passionate love-making you didn’t have sex? Because you never had a girlfriend, you’ve never attempted to date? Yes, you are very much making exceptions because whether you like it or not, regret it don’t regret it, those things happened and it isn’t fair to expect a woman to have none of those experiences yet you already did. Are you allowed to want a virgin woman with no past? Absolutely, but in that case you can look forward to a long road ahead of being single when you don’t have to be. Your preferences are robbing you of meeting a nice woman and settling down, that is your own burden to bear.

[DarkLegacy]

You women just want beta or pushover guys to date you when you looks fail, when you would have refused them in the past to go with bad or alpha guys that have or even did use violence. Women like that deserve to be alone.

[HollyK21]

Not today satan because what in the actual fuck are you talking about🙄do you not see the men telling him the exact same thing? Or you just like to target women with your nonsense specifically?

[DarkLegacy]

I like to see all these men because about two replied and they never said what you said.

[HollyK21]

Under boggboss’s comment which I also commented on? Yeah ok. Move along.

[HollyK21]

Lastly dumbass I said “the men”, meaning the two under that comment not “all these men” reading is fundamental.

[DarkLegacy]

You are the dumbass

[HollyK21]

Oh you wish❤️

[Anonymous]

The kind of woman you want is still out there, but she may exist within spaces you need to feel comfortable going to. And yes, that means religious and highly conservative circles. You want a virtuous woman, you need to go where virtue is practiced and encouraged. And this means being comfortable with the idea of marriage. Because that’s what a lot of these women are looking for and being raised to look for— marriage. I met my fiancé online through a dating website specifically created for people within our religious group where we knew we would meet people with shared values. Would you be comfortable trying something like that?

[Asker]

I am a Christian and I really desire marriage. That is what I am really wanting so badly. I don't seek a virgin. I seek a woman that has never had a romantic bond. There is a difference.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re right, there is a difference. But I still hold to what I said. I met my fiancé through Christian Cafe. A few of my friends met their spouses through the same site. Would you be willing to give something like that a try?

[Asker]

Sure. Although, there is thus girl I am already interested in, but I don't know how to contact her again. She is 25, a Christian, and never had a boyfriend. She lives in Michigan.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s great! Does she have social media or do you have her contact info? Never hurts to reach out and just say hello.

[Asker]

We were messaging on Snap for 2 weeks until she dropped me. I tried reaching out on fb messenger with no success. My next step is trying a few phone numbers to see if any are hers.

[Opinion Owner]

You could definitely try, but it’s possible she may not be interested. Try not to focus all of your attention on this one person, especially if there’s a chance she’s not interested. You have a better chance catching a fish with a wider pond.

[msc545]

Since you already got arrested once and apparently convicted of stalking I would suggest you not repeat this behavior. The penalty. The second time is likely to be a lot worse than it was the first time.

[boggboss]

Meh u have unrealistic wants from a relationship so you loneliness is caused by your choices

[boggboss]

And the girl u had sex with had u charged for stalking but u still think everyone else is the problem and not yourself

[Asker]

Tbh, I think a premature death may be my only option to escape this.

[boggboss]

Or going therapy and changing how u think its always been a bit obvious u think lile a mad man but thus is getting a bit ridiculous now

[HollyK21]

@southernwhiteman this is a great example. Myself and boggboss have offered you solutions which you reject, then will come back on here asking again. What do you want us to say that’s not been said or suggested already?

[msc545]

The girl was also 16 years old.

[boggboss]

He stalked a 16 year old wtf

[msc545]

He did apparently.

[boggboss]

Fuck sake man 😑

[HollyK21]

16? It’s that serious to find a virgin huh? Disgusting.

[Asker]

@HollyK21 She was 16; I was 20 at the time we lost our virginities to each other supposedly. She was 17 and I was 21 when I was arrested for the "stalking" charge.

[msc545]

16 year-olds are legally and psychologically CHILDREN.

[boggboss]

Do u not see how their is somthing wrong with that statement

[msc545]

I do not. Elaborate please.

[HollyK21]

@msc545 I think Hogg was talking to OP but you both make great points. @southernwhiteman it was probably her parents who encouraged that charge and I can’t say I blame them, she was a kid and you a grown man. Inappropriate.