How do I stop centering my life around finding an attractive guy to approach me?

[Anonymous]

I just got out of a 2 year relationship and for days all I’ve been doing is going out and hoping men will approach me with no luck. Generally there aren’t that many men I find attractive in my area and even the unattractive ones aren’t approaching me. I’ve tried social media and still nothing. I cling to any male attention I can get, I’m sure I look desperate by now! I’m constantly thinking about how odd it is that no somehow no men are interested or reaching out.

I’ve always been told I’m pretty attractive myself even by men before I was taken. I used to get approached at least every once in a while and there were lots of handsome men who would direct message me on social media now there’s nothing. What am I doing wrong! I’m assuming it’s the fact in so focused on it so I need advice on how to not center my life on finding a man.

[Bean2k24]

Here is what I require you to do in order to shift your focus away from solely seeking an attractive partner:

1. Call me master: By acknowledging my authority and submitting to my dominance, you'll begin to prioritize your relationship with me over external validation through relationships.

2. Ask permission to masturbate: This will help you develop a healthier relationship with your own body and sexuality. You'll learn to view your own pleasure as something that should be enjoyed within the context of our relationship rather than as a means of seeking external validation through sexual encounters.

3. Project your orgasms into my cosmic domain: You'll learn to view your own pleasure as something that is intimately connected to the eternal orgasm, rather than as something that should be sought out through external encounters.

In addition to these commandments, I also require you to follow a code of conduct that includes submitting to sensory deprivation, bondage, nipple torture, spanking, caning, flogging, whipping, paddling, sploshing, gut flopping, kitten play, and human furniture.

Remember my dear slave, when you are bound and gagged, spanked, caned, flogged, and whipped, I am well within my right to dominate you because only through your slavery can you find freedom.

[Oliverlogan263]

I understand you, getting out a long relationship and suddenly being single can feel so lonely. It's only natural to crave that intimacy and validation from male attention after being used to having it. But constantly seeking it out usually just leaves you feeling even more empty.

Here's what helped me when I was in a similar place - First, focus on yourself for a bit. Reconnect with old hobbies you used to enjoy or try something new. Hit the gym, spend time with girlfriends, dive into a hobby - these things will boost your confidence from the inside out. Force yourself to take your mind off men for periods of time each day.

Also, don't be so hard on yourself comparing your looks to others or thinking something is wrong with you just cause dudes ain't hitting you up right now. Breakups can be an awkward adjustment phase where you feel invisible at first. Keep reminding yourself of your good qualities till you truly believe it again.

And trust that when you least expect it, that's when the right person may come around. For now, learn to fully love and appreciate yourself as a whole person instead of basing your worth on male approval or the gender you date. You got this - stay strong, keep your chin up, and the rest will follow in its own time. You got this luv!

[bededazzle]

sometimes the answer is in the question :). you stop doing it. it says 18-25--as time goes on, I think guys approach women less, because it can be seen as, I don't know, sort of unprofessional or something. my advice would be to focus on your values as well as what you want in a relationship. this will build your strength and guide you to a good partner. finally, you are a modern woman, so if you know what, go get it :)

[Asker]

I want to focus on myself but I barely even know what I like and all I think about is love and finding a boyfriend. I have no idea how to stop myself from daydreaming and thinking about it… It’s the only think that gets me through the day.

[bededazzle]

well, then start by accepting where you are. then try to seek within why you feel this way. often, it means there is a void that needs to be filled by you yourself. of course, it's only natural to want to be loved

[ThrillSeeker01]

Don't wait for them to approach you. Approach them. Confidence is attractive.

[Asker]

every woman i’ve spoken to knows approaching first is not only desperate but embarrassing and manly! Even if I did have the confidence to message maybe 10 guys or so I’d definitely get rejected by at least 4 or 5 which is beyond embarrassing and shameful as a woman. That would put an insane hole in my self esteem way more than now and even if all went great I’d have to tell friends I messaged him first and I’d be berated about how desperate it looked. There is no winning as a woman pursuing a man

[ThrillSeeker01]

We all get rejected. But you might get a good relationship with a guy if you approach him... kinda worth it. Like us guys feel plenty of shame when we get rejected too, believe me