Is he saying goodbye to me?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

I meant to say “I find you FIND the girl you’re looking for” it was autocorrect. I wasn’t trying to imply he found someone else and that’s why he is ditching me.

Updates

+1 y

I hope you FIND***

[Oliverlogan263]

Sis, it really seems like he's trying to say goodbye here, as hard as that is to accept. Some things that stand out to me:

- He keeps saying he's not able to love you the way you deserve and that you'll be better off without him dragging you down with his issues.

- He's pushing you away because he feels he's only hurting/burdening you, even though that's not true. That's a classic case of self-sabotage from trauma.

- Even after apologizing, he says he doesn't deserve you still. That mindset is going to make it impossible for him to truly be present in a relationship.

- His trauma response is to shut down, not commit or plan long-term. As much as he cares, he may not be able to get past that block right now.

I know you care about him, but at some point you have to care about yourself too, you know? Maybe the kindest thing is to let him go work on healing without stringing you along. Give him space to get help too.

It sucks, but being apart for now may be the only way for a future together later, if that's even what you both want down the line. You deserve to have your feelings cared for too, sis. Just take it one day at a time - you've got this! *big hug*

[Asker]

So I’m the blue messages and he’s the grey.

[Oliverlogan263]

Oh okay mannn, I'm really sorry to see things are ending between you guys. I know how much it sucks to let someone go when you still have feelings for them. But from what he's said, it does seem like he's come to realize the relationship isn't working long-term due to the trauma stuff.

As much as it hurts, you have to respect where he's at too. Pushing or begging won't change how he feels deep down. All you can do is start focusing on yourself and your own progress. Take some time to grieve the relationship without contact if you need to.

Down the line once you've done some healing, maybe a friendship could be revisited if you're both in a healthier headspace. But don't make any promises about the future - you both need a clean break for now.

It'll be hard, but staying strong is the best way through this. Lean on your real friends for support. In time you'll get past the hurt and be in an even better place to find a relationship that fully fulfills you. You've got this luv!

[OlderAndWiser]

You told him goodbye. Maybe you didn't mean it and you were just trying to bait him into making some declaration of his feelings for you; if that was your plan, it didn't work. And you very rarely get a chance to try it a second time. Acceot that it's over and prepare yourself to move forward.

[sawno]

This is not a goodbye or lack thereof, he seems to just be supportive of your journey to improve.

[spartan55]

You must have fucked up really bad. Of course you feel entitled to a do over... doesn't look like it this time.

[KrakenAttackin]

Sounds like Chad has something else lined up.

[Asker]

Read update!

[KrakenAttackin]

Ok, let this poor bastard go.

[ThrillSeeker01]

He's just being supportive.