When dating do you put a form of commitment?

Question

I've realized there's people that like to date multiple people at a time and I don't understand why, it surely doesn't look good no matter what way you put it but I believe that when you date, throughout that period there should be a bit of commitment out of respect for the person you are dating, so this made me wonder, do you personally invest some commitment when it comes to dating? Or do you date multiple? 🤔

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

I date online. I started out with same believe you have. Honestly, I wish it worked that way, I mean I want to work that way. But honestly it just doesn't. I have gone weeks without a single like or connection then I get three at once.

I the past I would connect with one of the three and let the others go ignored. Then I invested in the one, and like 90% of online connections it did work out. But after week of two of ignoring the other two, they want nothing to do with me, and then how do I know if the one I chose was the right one? How do I know what I missed?

So yes, I connect and talk to multiple people, because let's be honest that is what most women do. But honestly 75% of them never pan out before the first date. Then the one that does get to that date with me gets more attention. What I am not doing is focusing on one woman for weeks and have it led to nothing while I blow off other women hoping this one is the one. Because so often she is not, and the better option very well could of have passed me by.

So, once me a women get past the first couple of dates, and she want to talk commitment, then I wait for her to make that commitment with me. What you cannot do, is expect her to make it before dating you. And if you require that, then you are putting too much pressure on something before you know that it can withstand that level of pressure. One thing woman hate most, is pressure or feeling pressured.

If she does not commit or want to on her own terms... then guess what? Thats on her as much as me. But I never talk commitment until she does, or at least give me a good reason to want to bring it up first. But for me that like 3 to 4 dates later.

And while we are going through that process of dating, and she wants to explore options... then I say all the power to her, because I am as well. And when we do decide to make that commitment together, we both be better off for the time we invest in searching for it.

But too many people, mostly women, but a large amount of guys force commitment too soon and too hard. And that smothers the relationship before it can even breath on its own.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear is the appropriate saying here.

OK so you have multiples on the go at any time and you expect this to be respected and transmogrify into a stable monogamous loving relationship. A sow's ear etc.

I thing you need to ask if they want a stable monogamous loving relationship. If they say nah I just want to gang bang you have the answer. Then ask if they are dating multitudes and if they are then explain about sow's ears and bid them a good life without rancor..

For myself I will always have clean hands if interested in a girl. Start as you hope it will go.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

Nope. Not by my definition, at least. Even most people who claim to be "committed" while dating just means they will be committed to be with that one person until they don't feel like it anymore - which isn't commitment at all, in my opinion.

Lisia · Accepted Answer

Nah I focus on one person when dating. I even focus on that one person when crushing lol.

Lliam · Answer

I was never into dating more than one person at a time. Dating multiple women at once seemed disrespectful to all of them.
But my goal was an infatuated, exclusive relationship, not hook ups. So I would give the girl I was dating my full attention and see how well we got along. If things weren't working out or she wasn't right for me, I would move on.

NathanDavis · Answer

commitment is always a must for me, yes...

and the forms might vary too, yes... whichever the circumstances are, caring for one another genuinely it is a must... (not being selfish and careless, don't need any of that)

ZackBan · Answer

I do belive commitment is incremental.
Meaning after the first date neither one owes the other anything.
But a month of dating later is a different story by then yes a level of commitment is expected.
Unless of course a non committed relationship is agreed on beforehand. And while that's not everyone's cup of tea if it is consensual there's nothing inherently wrong with it

BourbonAndBacon · Answer

If your just doing coffee dates and getting to know them then go out with as many as you want but don't string anyone along. End it quick if you're not feeling it. When you find someone to go beyond 3 dates with you should end with with everyone else. You have a better chance of finding the right one if you cast a wide net.

exitseven · Answer

For a year or so i went off the rails a little and sometimes dated more than one person. I am not proud of thst.

Anonymous · Answer

I've never multiple people at once. I've been with my girl for over three years now and have zero interest in being with anyone else.

When dating do you put a form of commitment?

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