Can’t get over a guy who f*ing ghosted me?

[Anonymous]

I never had a guy ghost me and this is not coming from a place of vanity but pure hurt! It’s so hard finding guys who are a bit patient with me and who I feel is level headed when I’m spiraling …

I’ve never had sex, a first kiss or a boyfriend.. I’ve talked to other guys but I talk to them about him…

[bededazzle]

it sounds like it’s not about him in particular to me. you need to contemplate where the hurt is coming from. definitely don’t waste time pining over someone not into you

[Anonymous]

Why should guy to be patient with you?
Are y Emma Watson?

[Asker]

Huh? I didn’t say he had to I’m saying he was

[Chandelier8]

You likely won't get over him until you find someone better for you. I know the feeling but try to give other guys a chance.

[HateyouxD]

You were spiraling out of control? Maybe that's why our dudes left us

[Asker]

Yeah… he did say I seem unstable but I wasn’t spiraling …

[HateyouxD]

Maybe that turned him off that you were unstable

[Asker]

But while we were texting for two weeks he seemed mor patient…. he wanted to see me in person … he said if we didn’t meet he was going to stop talking..

So we met… he was a gentleman … I told him that I made it home and thnx. He said same here and thanks for coining out

Nothing else after that…

[Asker]

I text him 3 times after that

[HateyouxD]

Maybe he didn't like the vibes

[Asker]

Yeah… it was my first date that I’ve ever been on… maybe he wasn’t attracted to me

[HateyouxD]

Or the conversation wasn't good. Bad date. Sorry

[Asker]

Yeah… it prob wasn’t… I couldn’t hear him good… I was looking elsewhere … I probably seemed slow to him.. idk… I was a bit nervous.. he went on his phone towards the end but he included me… he looked around… but he was polite and I loved being in his masculine company… but maybe he just wanted sex

[Asker]

He did say he didn’t want to sleep with me bc he didn’t want me to be “crazier” or something like that … and he said he doesn’t like drama

[HateyouxD]

Guys know when after sleeping with a girl she gets more clinging and he may only just wanted sex

[Asker]

He made me feel like he didn’t… but him being more worried about how I’ll respond after sex more than my own feeling and trauma is concerning.. it just means he never planned on loving me.

[HateyouxD]

Yes because he just wanted sex

[Asker]

I told him I wanted our conversation to be just that – a chat, no physical intimacy. I told him that I only wanted to be his placeholder. I told him I'm prioritizing my emotional health at all cost. He asked me what’s the safest way I can communicate with him and he encouraged me not to penalize others for past hurts. That made me appreciate him a bit.

I just want to feel safe

[HateyouxD]

A placeholder? Do you even know what that means

[Asker]

Yes, but my own version of it