Why can’t I get over him?

[Anonymous]

Okay so, I recently had to block this guy because he was so toxic and I liked him a lot but he do want a relationship all he wanted from me was sexual stuff and we were talking off and on for about 4 years and I finally blocked all of his socials because he would always get involved sexually with someone else and then remove me on Snapchat but I still miss him and like him even though we had a situationship and I cared and depended on his response and he would always make me cry it didn’t matter because I had him to talk to but I still CANNOT get over him.

[Keyboardkat]

How long has it been since you blocked him? I think that what you really miss is the kind of close and loving relationship you wish you had had with him, rather than what the actual relationship really was. He wasn't the guy you thought he was, he used you for sexual stuff, but he never really committed to you, and therefore, realize that he couldn't have been there for you if you went through tough times and really needed him!

Here's what you need to do: If you haven't already, give yourself three days to have a pity party with yourself. Then, do something different. I see that your age range is 18-24, which is still pretty young and inexperienced (and you've now had a bad experience.). Take a course you might not have otherwise taken, or work on your abs, or take up a musical instrument, or learn a new language, or, if you have time and the money, take a trip somewhere you have never been, whatever it is that interests you.

But, and this is very important: DO NOT date anyone for a while, until your heart is really healed. Why? Because right now, the wound is too fresh, the pain too sharp! You are not really emotionally available to a new guy because your heart is still a prisoner of the past. Rebound is a real thing, and you can latch on to someone attractive, and use them as a band-aid. But then when you're feeling better, you will discard the band-aid, and he may have really fallen for you and you can hurt someone nice, without meaning to. It's not fair to do that to someone! I was guilty of that myself over five decades ago, and I have felt so awful about the pain that I caused her that I sometimes wish I could find her so that I could apologize and ask forgiveness, but after so many years, I don't think that would go over too well!

You will know when you're ready! When you can hear his name without feeling a punch in the gut, when you can hear that song without dissolving in tears, when you can see him coming up the street without crossing the street to avoid him, when you can actually get ANGRY at him for using you, you'll know you're ready to move on. It's not that you will forget him, but it will just be a chapter in your past that you learned something from. And some guy will come along who will really fall in love with you and will appreciate you for who you are! THAT's worth waiting for!

I'm really sorry for being so long-winded and taking up so much of your time, but I hope I've been helpful to you. I wish you the best, and may you be blessed!

[Iron_Man]

Very immature relationship and I’m not a fan of blocking it accomplishes nothing is like a death sentence when you do that and the guys waiting for you to come back Very immature relationship and I’m not a fan of blocking it accomplishes nothing it’s like a death sentence when you do that and the guys waiting for you to come back always wondering

[Fanfare690]

He doesn't want a relationship. You blocked him for a reason. It doesn't take 4 years to get with someone. Take it 1 day at a time :)

[Anonymous]

Do yourself a favour and remove yourself from social media. It will solve a lot of your problems.

[mommymommymommy]

So are you proving guys and girls really can't be "just friends", lmao